It is hard to get out of bed in the morning
Without your face to kiss
Your body to hold
Your voice to listen to

You were like the first cup of coffee in the morning
Warm and alluring
Life was easier with you in it
And I grew accustomed to that
But now you're gone and it seems I have forgotten
How difficult life is for someone like me

When you struggle to get out of bed in the morning
For no apparent reason it seems
Things are hard
But forgetting what that feels like
And being thrown back into it with no warning
Is even harder

I think of you as poison
The way you loved me so passionately
And then not at all
You metamorphosed my pleasure into pain,
My bliss into a broken heart
I am accustomed to jumping from one extreme to the other
But that doesn't mean this hurts any less

With my head full and churning
I find comfort in my cigarettes
As I endlessly and tirelessly
Search for a way to turn my mind off
To no avail

Sometimes I look in the mirror
And have no idea who or what I am looking at
So I stare and stare and stare
Then I disappear all together
And I see nothing
And I see no one

"It had nothing to do with you, love," you said
"You're perfect to me," you said
It made my heart ache and ache
Why did you have to say that?
Right when it was starting to get easier

"I need to smoke a cigarette," I think to myself
"The cigarettes you smoke one after the other won't make you forget him," I mutter through clenched teeth
I feel as though my molars might crack under the pressure
I feel so tense and weak and alone

You touched me and then you loved me
You left me and then you broke me
You made the wanderer in me stay and build a home
I built the foundation up and around your heart so I could be your heartbeat,
Residing in your chest, underneath the warmth of your tingling flesh

With no prior notice you evicted me
You demolished my home, my comfort, my bliss
You left me cold and sad and heartbroken
With no where to go

You shouldn't make promises you can't keep

She smells of cigarettes and flowers
I could rant about her beauty for hours
When we kiss, I'm in another dimension
When we're apart, I swear something's missin'