Quizas mi lengua se acostumbro
a el silencio,
que ha dejado de formular palabras,
tal vez,
mis labios se acostumbraron a los tuyos,
Pero en cuanto el silence se quedo callado
Fue cuando mas hablamos

Sometimes,
I feel like an old soul trying to find rest
Just rocking my chair
To and fro
To and fro
To the rhythm of the day
To the breeze that greets my hair
To the lightbulbs in the porch
To the moon above the roof
To the squirrels in the trees
Just to and fro
Just to and fro

L.L.

Nov4

To write a story in free verse
is to let the prose in you go berserk
or to let the feelings that wish to come out of you, go
As if these feelings are the one you love

Just like people say

If you love someone let them go,
If they comeback they were yours
If not they never were

I know knowing about the unknown
is something that I will know someday
yet knowing that I will know about the unknown
makes me want for it to be already that someday.
But without knowing, I already know
that wanting for me to be already that someday
makes me not know THAT which I already know
that is
that each and every day
I know a little bit more about the unknown
yet I just yearn for that someday to come
still not knowing
that THAT someday is part of my every today.


July 15, 2016

While walking on a bridge,

A kid said:

Whenever I fall, I'm like the snow
That turns you white
And leaves you cold,
Right, dad?

And the dad said:

Whenever you fall, you are like a cyclone
That hits our home
And leaves me scared
And without a wallet.

So watch your step, son.

I'm like a coin in a pocket.
Always falling unpredictably,
and clumsily onto the floor,
I lay there, until someone picks me up.
They get me in their pockets,
And I stay there, feeling safe,
Until once again, I fall onto the floor,
By their careless mistakes,
and they don't even realize it -
that I am gone, until they need me,
To buy something with my worth.

Words, they are just letters,
and letters are just points,
and points are just numbers,
and numbers are...


Well, numbers are numbers.

Though words are really just letters,
and these letters are just points,
points combined in a sequence
sequence that gives a shape
shape that could indicate a location
location that is found by coordinates
coordinates that are just numbers,

When I was born, I may just have slept
Between a bed with torns and petals
One side beign heaven
The other hell
So if in my sleep, I turn to torns
I may bleed to awake in pain
And if I turn to petals
I may continue to peacefully sleep

I tried to let my ego go,
but my ego did not loved me at all.
It did not let me go.

It grabbed my heart tighter,
as if wanting me to believe
that the only reason my heart beat
was for its love

Yet my heart did not beat for it

It only bled

the thoughts are not a box of chocolates to be eaten
the thoughts are like drops of water that one after another
accumulate to form rivers

These rivers run amuck with no particular course...

But at times, the thoughts go in search of an ocean

for the biggest of body of water,
they yearn to be one with the ocean

I dreamt of you in white
Wearing a dress like the sun
bright
Distilling sunshine rays
Throughout the day
But at night

I dreamt of you
Like I always done
But I forgot about your face
I forgot about our conversations
And I meant to remember them

But I just can't

The dreams in which you are
Are memories I lived before
And some days it feel
As if my present days are memories
Like Dejavu
That I have lived before

I smiled and awake
Shaking my head
No

No

This is the only life I have

I have not lived before

Like rain that clouds cry
we came to fall from the sky
to be a multitude of drops
that form a tiny little pond

but then as time went by
and as we stood there calm
there came a force
that with a jump
scattered us, splish - splash,
some drops in here,
some drops in there,

just for us to form
two tiny little ponds.

But then as time went by
and as the heat of the day
began to increment
we started to evaporate

to once again be
like rain that clouds cry
to be a multitude of drops
that form a tiny little pond

to then as time goes by
become scattered by a force
to form many tiny little ponds

that then as the heat of the day
begins to increment
we start to evaporate

to once again be
like rain that clouds cry....

In this depressive day, when rain falls like tears
could you hold me like a pen, in between your hand?
and once you have secured me by the waist
Could you move me until you write everything I say?
For I tend to forget that I too can express myself.

Just a little more...

I've been carrying this weight on my shoulders,
My knees are bent. My arms are tired. But I keep walking step by step. Right first. Then left. Yet these roads are filled with potholes. I almost stumbled upon a puddle. But today, I saw the mountain. I'm almost there.

Just a little more...

I was a flower planted on the ground.
Some days, the wind came to greet me,
Until I looked like a merry go round.
My petals started to fall one by one,
just detaching from me onto the grass.

         Mean while, underneath the ground,
         my roots gripped tighter to the soil
         as if they were looking for oil
         Like men do when in search for petroleum
         They dug deep, deeper down

This flower remained tall

love left me before I learnt to love
It was right there
at the touch of a fingertip

but I was afraid...

I kept pulling my hand closer to my chest.
And there, it rested on a grave.

In my dreams,
I built a castle with bricks,
and then
a house with wood,

and I ended up sleeping
in none.

it's been a while since I wrote like I usually do
without paying attention to meter or rhymes
but rather by just jotting my thoughts down
as if I were drawing
scribbling lines, dots, shapes, multiple
doodles that resemble snakes
that bite, coil, and rattle
as they slither through paper from pen

To then attack

as if the paper was the ground where I stood,
calmly gazing onto the sky of my imagination,
getting lost within the lines of thoughts,
as if the lines were the clouds moving, and moving,
just moving nothing but me to write
a windy passage of time
that blows
and blows away
the doodles
of snakes
into
a piece
of art

And with this,
I conclude my search
I've given up

Though if I search one more time
I may find me some nice info

Perhaps wiki will have the answers
Perhaps google engine
could lead me to the solution

Or may be, yahoo.com?

But ultimately, there's tons of info
to read
There's lot of info
to look at
That I always get caught upon reading
But I don't read
what I am supposed to

Yet it's the same in life, at least it seems to,
There's a lot of people to talk to
There's a lot of people to get to know
But I don't talk to the ones I need to
I always talk to those who by labor of destiny
I stumbled upon on a daily basis
Yet it seems that by fate
I must defy my destiny and follow what I must
For if I follow what I must
I may find my answers
And my solutions

It was when the lightbulb in the room,
Turned on.
Then turned off.
That the darkness in the room
enveloped me
in a blanket of pure comfort.

I laid there, fast asleep,
in a bed of nightmares,
that felt as cozy as any dream felt,
Yet when I hugged the pillows of heaven,
I felt the angels pinch my arms
with their feathers of consciousness,
Until I awoke from my slumber,

Bleeding
And bleeding
With regrets
One
after another.

Then the light in my room turned on.

And I was enlighten.

Your lips have been stitched up,
your words have been mummified,
Here you await,
in this tomb, putrifying no more,
But getting old and lost.
Almost turning to dust.

on a book
pens his name
an author

bouncing like a ball
on hallway while mother shops;
yippee, yup! said, who?

When writing a poem, I was told:
"Do not repeat the same words."
I asked, "why not?"

Their reply:
"Repetition can be annoying
and unappealing
for those who are reading your poems"

At that moment, I wish I had replied:

" I repeat whatever I wish to repeat
because when I repeat myself,
I practice my repetition to the point
that whatever it was that I repeated
no longer sounds unappealing"

but instead,

I only wrote whatever I wrote
without writing what I wished to write,
( that is, I wished to write
without repeating words just to follow
the advice someone once told me
I should do, when writing a poem)
but instead, I wrote without writing
what my wishes were,
and now, I'm glad that whatever I write
nowadays is written
not by how I wish to write
but by how the write
should be written

just like that

If you start joking too much,
People start to take you less seriously.
Though for the most part,
People enjoy seriousness...

Ah Nah

I'm joking.

I've gone insane, and took the In
Out of the Insane
And now, that sane remains
It doesn't feel the same

I wandered letters in between my dreams
I searched for words and I found a sentence in between
And now I search for nothing
And nothing comes
I always find that which I'm searching for

I searched for death and I found it in my friends
I searched for love and I found it in me instead

What is it God that I must search now, let me know!
What is it God that I must find in order to move on?

I searched for you and I found you in my soul.
I searched for you and I found you in every human in the world.
Then I searched and searched for me,
Until I found me lost,
I searched and searched,
And I found what I searched for

But that was before I took the In
Of out the Insane
And now that sane remains
Nothing feels the same

It's not the moon that comes at night,
Nor the stars that shine up far
That makes me fear to be like them
So far away, so far away

It's not the darkness that I fear
Nor the silence that I hear
When I do see them up above,
So far away, so far away

But it's the fear to be up there
So high above, all by myself
So far away, so far away

Don't get me wrong:

I'm not afraid to be alone
I'm not afraid to only be just with myself

But I do fear loneliness.

There's a time for everything...
Like the distinct watches that exists,
We created them.

I never wanted to be the sun
but surely enough
I wished to be a source of light.
Surprisingly, I was a lightbulb
meant to lighten a room
who sooner or later, burned out.

July 9, 2019

Love,

Water me with hopes as if I were that flower in your garden.
Don't let me thirst for them,
Else, I may grow roots deep into the soil where I was planted,
until I find them...



---
Yes...

I won't be that flower that stays in one spot,
And then dries and withers and dies
I won't be that flower that blooms once in love,
And then dries and withers and dies

But I would be that flower that blooms
each and every time
whenever you are around.

I would be that flower
that only wishes to capture your sight
And to inspire you to be the best of best in life.

lo que yo tengo
son muchas ganas de escribir
y estas ganas que yo tengo
aun que escriba no me dejan vivir
Quizas, ese es mi destino,
el destino que yo misma escoji.

Haven't written in a while,

I wished I had
But it was raining
And I only had the set of clothes I wore
No extra pants,
No extra blouse,

Plus I knew I would hear a scream,
"Come inside"
But instead I tripped on a puddle, then I stood up
Soaked, drenched,
And I did not enjoy it
But I wished I had had

There was a time
when life
Just like a rhyme
was force
But just like a rhyme
there came a time
When life
was no longer dull

I feel like I am missing something...

Is it you?
or is it poetry?


The strange ache in my chest is coming back again,
and I cannot explain it
but it aches, it burns, as if I had drank alcohol
but ******,
I haven't drink, not even a drop.

I just want to curl up into a ball, turn off the lights of my room, and sleep it off.
I want to hybernate the entire month of December,
I don't want to go out, I want to stay in, I just want to stay in.


There's so much ache, I do not like alcohol.
It intensifies the ache, and I just want to sleep it off.
I want to hold my pillow, I want to sit in one corner, curl up into a ball. I want to go to and fro, to and fro, leaning front and back,
front and back, as if I was listening to waves, going
to and fro, to and fro, calm, tranquil, retreating backwards,
ebbing back into the sun...


But life doesn't let me sleep. It continues awakening me.
It continues calling me. And I just want to sleep the ache,
I want to dream that I live in peace, but my dreams are vast, too vast that even when life calls me, its voice echoes, twice, thrice,
"wake up"


I open my eyes, there's the light...
Life doens't want me to sleep in darkness, it wants me to awake... to open my eyes, to no longer be blinded by it's brightness...

I want to sip and sip from the wine of knowledge
And be drunk without worries
But I rather just want to sip and sip from the water of wisdom
And remain sober,
Until I become purify
Until I satiate my thirst to understand life
Until I feel hydrated with joy
Until I feel alive

I wasn't a rose, nor a bud,
I wasnt blooming in love,
I did not have thorns,
I wasn't green either,
I tell you, I am not a flower

I'm made out of flesh and bones,
I have a spinal cord to stand tall,
I'm made with a brain system,
God gave me my intellect.

Thus I'm like the roots of a plant,
I like absorbing knowledge as it was water
Specially when the topics are hot,
Heating debates like summers,
Makes me thirst for more,

But I'm not a flower

Did you? Did you not?
I know you did.
like I did
when you did not know,
That I did.

But I still did,
I told you I did do,
Right after I did,
So at first you did not know
But then you did know
Because I did
Told you after I did do.

So did you did do too?

God is not the sun,
He is the ocean
where all the rivers try to get to

and each of us
is a drop
that when combined with other drops
create a body of water

yet I heard someone
once say
"you are an ocean in one drop"

So I supposed,
one drop can hold the ocean
and one ocean can hold many many drops

a pen wobbles
at the edge of a wooden desk
yearning for a hand

1._

Title: Invisible


I watched the metro from across a bench.
A man with tattered clothes, smiled to me.
A woman with messy hair, smiled to me.
A kid sitting in the metro, smiled to me.
I stood up. I went inside a building.
A woman in the restroom, smiled to me.
they smiled to me.
To me
to me...

I think I fried my brain.
my god, I can't think. I am in pain.
I studied a book per day,
Okay, perhaps a page a day...
but I think I thought too much
my head hurts with a touch
And if I stretch my thoughts a bit,
they break with a crunchy noise

A star came to be me
shooting screams
granting your wishes,
Darling.

Aren't you happy that I finally feel?

Often I was numb
drifting somewhere
other than in me

My thoughts used to be yours

That's all I could think about

You
You
You

I became numb to my feelings
I wasn't me
I was you in me
searching for me
In you
because I lost me
I lost me in you

But on the other end,
I lost you, not in me, but in you.
you were meant to lose yourself in me
And me in you
Thus we, both, would still be
You and me
but me in you, and you in me,
but both still being us:
interchanged, intertwined,
us becoming the other
Until we found ourselves
lost in each other


But I lost me in you
And turned numb
Till I became a star
shooting screams
Granting your wishes
darling

Awaking
To find my way out
Out of this lost relation.

A day to pray,
I kneel to say,
My lord I'm here
On this bench

With my palms
In front of me
I come to you
To seek the truth
In this church
Your humble abode
That I call home
I come to you
Please free my soul
My loving God

And let me burn
From any sin
Like the incense
In the altar does
Free

I tried writing like I used to write
To find myself along the lines
But I find me a long time ago
And then when I did I stopped

As if I reached some stop sign
Or a red traffic light
And I stayed there
Until again, I started to write

But this time I got lost
I could not fun where I needed to go
Then I tried asking for directions
But it was just me
Lost in my own writes

So once again I ended up at the stoppe sign
But this time, I found you
And by finding you, I found me
I have no motive to get lost

If I ever feel the earth tremble,
It would be because love came
to move my world for me

It would feel as if the gates of heaven opened
As the earth quakes and shakes
And as people stop their madness
To see the brightest of the lights meet their eyes

Imagine all gathered up in circles, hand in hand,
Like a human chain, standing around heavens gates.
All prepared to meet the judgement day
Together, supporting each other, helping one another,
Not letting a single one end up in Hell.

To meet in Halloween night
what a witchy spell that was

to dance and feel the music
resonate in our hearts,
It's too feel the rhymth of friendship
tap our senses,
pulling us closer apart.

I, watched grown men and women, live alone.
Their families forgot them, left them in the streets
as if they were trash. No wonder,
their heart grew weary in loneliness

Mom talked to them. Gave them food
whenever she could. The old men and women
came to visit, smiled, and looked happy.
Though, when they were lonely, their heart was cold
but in company, it grew fonder

All it took for the old men and women
was a sign of care from someone else, to live life
With love and gratitude.

When I'm moody,
Color me blue and let me cry.
Let my eyes be as immense as the sky,
So you may watch them day and night.
So you may see why I become stubborn and blind.

Let the clouds in my eyes
be blown by the wind into other skies
Let the clouds clear up Before your eyes
And when sunshine rays appear in them
be sure to know
That is a genuine smile

You are One in a million
But a million in one
It's what I want

Yet you are nowhere to be found