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114 · Dec 2018
full heart/full hands
Elioinai Dec 2018
when you find a deeper love
it’s so much easier to give
112 · Nov 2018
fear lies about your power
Elioinai Nov 2018
I have destroyed whole worlds today
the stench of burning cities fills my nostrils
Quiet agony fills my throat
Endless wreckage is my vision
What horrors my hands have wrought
I step upon the ruined ramparts
I weep upon the ashes

I do not have the power to do such things
so few ripples have I truly brought
And yet my anxious heart feels like its caught
caught and shackled in the dry dust of emotional failure
111 · Sep 2018
this Queen
Elioinai Sep 2018
I’ve seen glimpses of myself
And to me comes the staggering truth
that I myself am Staggering
So Much
Am I
So Full
I am
As a queen in flowing garments
in heels I tower over crowds
My countenance is Bright
My face though Humble, covers a Bold spirit with bold opinions and strong Belief
I’m strong and Gentle
but the heart within me still fears
still thinks it sits within a small chest
next to small arms
But no
The truth is I am Large
Large enough to Rule my world
And take my throne among the Greats
Everyone who accepts their Crown
draws me Come and Reign
111 · Apr 2018
Overflow
Elioinai Apr 2018
Stop trying to box power
Power
Joy
Freedom
Love
All good things
start to lose themselves
when you put them into boxes
They become a little less
intended to overflow
dripping down to gild the lives around you in ways you can’t control
You can’t be filled without overflowing
You can’t be filled with controlling
pressure builds as you try to grow under a lid
So be prepared to explode
when you find freedom
don’t be afraid to watch your soul
flung about
Overflow
102 · Jan 2019
bad habits
Elioinai Jan 2019
I cut my thumb
just a little
with a steak knife while I chopped cauliflower
All week I’ve watched my skin knit itself back together
On the outside of my hand is another tear
it’s older and shallow but healing slowly
I always bump it
washing hands
applying lotion
the scab ripped off yesterday
the gouged skin underneath threatens to scar
these two accidental wounds remind me of my metaphorical heart
and I wonder how I could learn to stop bumping the hurts and picking at scabs
and just let it heal
102 · Oct 2018
sterling staring
Elioinai Oct 2018
The best part of getting older
is looking straight into strangers’ eyes without fear
Oh the joys that the iris brings
what confidence of soul and spirit
Breathing with a lifted chin and open chest
Seeing the honesty in others’ happy and respectful gazes
All the truth I had missed
Now spread out before my sight
100 · Jan 2020
I, the Jester
Elioinai Jan 2020
the King’s fool
never gains wealth
for everything he earns
he promptly spends
on better jokes
and checkered cloaks
for brighter bells
to golden gleam
upon the float of his laughing dream
his joy is to build
what is only remembered
with gilded fondness
I love to spend all my extra money and often extra time  on temporary pleasure for others
Elioinai Dec 2018
I pass over their heads
faces upturned, hopeful
I grace them not with the knowledge that I have seen them
Though I float among clouds
my heart is too heavy
to heavy to choose to reveal so much rejection
and far to heavy to wait and watch their reaction
I fear that I’m contributing to cynicism
that I might lead these men to believe
in callous angels
but no man should be so weak as to crumble beneath the weight of one
“how are you doing beautiful”
never answered
89 · Dec 2017
Fierce, proud bird
Elioinai Dec 2017
I opened myself to desire
And it’s wings swept me away
Elioinai Nov 2018
it takes a certain amount of pain in other’s eyes
to convince me of their vulnerability
I guess that’s why some women think their type is broken men
Maybe it’s because I’ve been making space for them
The vulnerable
the lost
a comfortable place of rest in my heart
filled with all my favorite songs and art
I’ll read to you until you fall asleep
if you hurt that badly
all you have to do is show up on my doorstep
slightly turn toward me sadly
And know all I want is to lift you up if you’ll let me
85 · Jan 2019
purple
Elioinai Jan 2019
I looked in the mirror
massaging my face with brightening oils
I noticed an old pimple scar as I smiled
purple spot under my mouth
almost deep enough to be a pinprick dimple
Cute, really
somehow that little dot of beauty
became to me an epiphany
And I realized
that the way I’ve always waited
is more than a scar, than a beauty mark
more than inspiration
for bleeding art
It’s an important part
it takes a key place in my preparation
for life and what’s meant for me

— The End —