i would very much appreciate
if you would stop comparing yourself to others
and being so crazily in love with your loneliness and depression

I have drowned
willingly
for the third time
and hopefully
the last

I still get nervous when you're around
(And that means everyday)
When you are near, my heart is never sound
(And I still forget what to say)

My hands still get sweaty from just the idea of you
(And I could almost fill a deep pit)
I guess I never will get used to you
(And I have no intention of stopping it)

My heart drenched in wine
Alcohol in my mind
Cigarette burns in my lungs
Drug specks in my veins

*Your wings against my chest
We are such a beautiful mess
My lips brush on your skin
Your scent enters deep within

I'm sorry* is nonchalant.

How is it that you are already tired

I am the monster of my own destruction;
and the slave of my own chaos.