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rufus Aug 2014
she gave me letters
i always thought they were real
i knew they were, until
the burning came

she gave me necklaces,
if these turn rusty, i'll leave
until now, i have never worn them
i never wanted them to be rusty.

she gave me stuffed toys,
this one will sleep on the right side of your bed,
because you always wake up on that side
so that you'll think of me first thing in the morning


she spoke words
and numbers
and screamed to me
whispers of a loud night

i gave back more;
necklaces, bracelets
kisses and tight hugs
movies and strong hands
stuffed toys and letters, too

above all, i gave her songs to sleep with,
poems to live by
and promises to look forward to

she told me
*you shouldnt have,
we both knew we were never enough for each other,
right?
No. I didn't know.
rufus Aug 2014
i want to love you so much i'd shove all the others away.
rufus Aug 2014
you don't have to heal me
not because you already did
but because it isn't your duty

you don't have to make me forget
not because it's working
but because i am not to be kept

you don't have to give me solace
not because you already have
but because just staring at you all my days

- from five distances,
ten hours in twenty-four -

can already make me happy,
can already make me lay down
all the chances
i have on you.
You. Are. Not. A. *******. Rebound.
rufus Aug 2014
who acts as barricades,
protecting their angel
- who does not want to see her hurt,
those who embrace her wings

- who thinks she can never fly by herself
- who thinks she is too weak to handle pain

look again;
you have a brave girl right in front of you,
vulnerable and ready-stand
to experience hurt
and breaking

open and ready to fight
for the greatest love she'll ever find
I won't hurt anyone. I can't step on anyone. I can't even be a two-faced ***** even if I try. But I'm scared, too, you know. Everything that I touch, I break. Everyone that I love, I lose. I am afraid of transition and losing. I doubt myself too. It's not just you who bring me down everyday. Do not act like I have been in this kind of relationship more than once. I'm not the one who leaves. I just take the blame of leaving because I don't want them to take it. I'd rather be the one feeling the pain. I have had sweet relationships but never this romantic. Never this poetic. I hope you know how special the person I am talking about. You know this person more than I do. If there is someone to blame, it is I. I'll leave if I would be asked. I could sacrifice, and it would be better if I leave today, when everything is just starting. Just don't be like that. Don't put too much pressure on her.
rufus Aug 2014
one day i'll tell you, dear,
what you've always wanted to hear

and from that minute onwards

i wouldn't care if you tear me apart
and break my heart

you can lead me to wherever you desire
and let every moment afire
rufus Aug 2014
.
today i decided i want to live in your eyes
stay in your arms
and be with your light
**** u katy perry :(
rufus Aug 2014
for december to end
january to forgive
february to reminisce
and march to forget
april to calm down
may to vanish
june to be out
july to stop
august to fade
september to break
october to remember
and november to last

i need to live in them first.
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