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I see the stars
They shine so brilliantly
Against the somber ebony
that is the night sky

In this scene I do find comfort
The mournful abyss calls to me
Whispering promises of felicity
Perhaps that is the reason why

The moons always fade
and the tide always washes in
so strongly that I cannot help it, but
into the unforgiving waves, I fall

I do beseech that I can live
Without the ache
Without the pain
Without the feelings at all
And the wave hits once again
Why have I made myself hate me so much? Why are society's standards so incredibly high? Why won't people acknowledge ones true beauty? It's not about the flat stomach, ladies. Not the make-up, either. Nor the hair. Do you need extensions, fake nails or fake eyelashes to feel pretty? The whole messed-up idea is wrong. Why would you put funny-looking, plastic, artificial things on your body? Because we want to look nice. Feel nice. And for us, low-self-esteem girls, well... Lets say we want to accomplish our happiness by being eye-candy. And for that to happen, we have to change our whole selves, of course. Not any part of ourselves will do. We have to become a different person in order to be likeable. We have to be fake, giggly idiots who wear way too much make-up, fancy designers clothes, and expensive jewelry. We have to eat miniature salads to stay fit, and go to the gym everyday. On top of that, if you go to the beach you have to be lady-like and sunbathe all day long (the most boring thing ever). And there you are, amazing tanned body, incredible hair and impeccably dressed. But you know what, little Miss Perfect? You are empty inside. You are shallow. You have nothing left, apart from you looks and your expensive clothing. No real friends. No memories. No life. You were so worried working out and shopping that you didn't notice your life passing by right past you. And you are not growing younger as the minutes go by, sweetheart. One day you'll wake up and realize that you have nothing. Your life is meaningless. It lacks of passion. Love. Adventure. And you start to get wrinkles in the corners of your eyes and mouth. Your hair turns white and you skin is frail.
You can't sleep, for one thought haunts you:
*You haven't really lived.
Just the way it is.
I hate love and how it is so deceiving
It lures you in with a promise that this will be just like the movies
Giving us an image in our minds
This will be something so sweet
But instead it just cuts the roof of your mouth
And leaves a bitter aftertaste on your tongue
I am shallow.
I know I am.
I hate it about me
And I'm never good enough.

It's hard to fulfill
Ideals that belong to the past.
It's time to move on
It's time to do whatever you like.

But the chains won't loosen up.
And there's still a long road before us.
Will you be brave and go forward?
I don't think I can do it.

Neither do you.
Nobody believes in me.
Nor do they know what fuels me.
I keep getting up from the rough road.

Why do I do that?
Why don't I just let go?
I'm not strong enough to **** myself.
I'm not strong enough at all.

I'm a coward.
I can't take it.
My body shakes
My hands are trembling.

There's no way out.
Depression is darkness
That swallows me whole.
It drags me to its depths.

*It corrupts my soul
And endless night filled with sorrow and self-disgust. That would be my life.
 Feb 2015 Ena Alysopriono
Creep
I tried giving you
All the dreams you would ever want,
All the stars in the sky,
Spinning story after story
With each constellation.
But it was never enough.

You left the beautiful storyland I made for you
For the horrors of reality.

I hope you survive,
Meanwhile I'll always be stuck here
By myself,
In dreams.
Eh. Not related to me rn at all.

Pools
By glass animals
She looked more alive
dangling from the edge
than she ever had resting
in the lap of luxury.
Were we ever meant to live the ordinary life?
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