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 Jul 2014 Emoni Jenkins
Megan H
Sometimes-
I wish you would look behind my eyes,
And listen to me when I'm silent.
I wish you would pick through my thoughts-
And automatically know how I feel.
I wish you could see the view I have of the world-
That I cannot explain out loud.
God, I wish you could see what I think,
When I'm silent.
I’m forever in her shadow, in the darkness I wait,
The situation consumes me, as I'm left to contemplate,

I look exactly like her, in every single way,
I mimic her movements, it’s a game I like to play,

I blend with the darkness, I follow her when she leaves,
I know her every mannerism, I even copy how she breathes,

I will do anything to lie by her side,
As I step from her shadows...no longer will I hide?

She loves me, I know what’s in her head,
As I wait for her to come home..

...and see me in her bed.
Gravity
Was kind to me
And sometimes I could fly.

Fate, you see
Excluded me
And I felt I'd never die.
I rearranged the scars on your arms and formed a roadmap
I asked you to take me somewhere
                                                               and you took my finger
                                           and you traced it down their paths
we went for a walk and
                                                             ­           I went every place
                                                           ­                    met every face
that tried to rip you open
but you sealed yourself back up
and when those scars healed,
then so did you
                                                    like the time your mother left you
you left four scars on your left wrist
and later,
three more on the right
                                                             or when your father left too
you left nine scars on your leg that night
you placed them carefully in a way
so that they spelled out DAD
                                       don't forget the time she broke your heart
you left 12 scars on both your thighs
one for every month you were with her
(you still stayed six months after that)

there is a pattern of broken hearts
but i won't be another scar.
                                                        i erased the lines on the map
                                                          we forgot they ever existed.


                                                          *smn­di
 Jul 2014 Emoni Jenkins
gmg
Enigma
 Jul 2014 Emoni Jenkins
gmg
She was mysterious, she was difficult to understand, but there was something about her that kept him wondering, he liked the color of her hair, and the way her veins reminded him of tree roots, which brought back memories of his grandfather, he had a pine tree outside his front porch, and when it slowly started to die he did too, they both went quick and peacefully, so they say, I don't believe so, but that's a whole different story. Her skin was always goose-bumped, and her eyes were more gray than blue. She seemed calm, like a downtempo piano love song, but if you push the right buttons she'll come undone and cause a disastrous tornado out of swear words and her middle fingers. She doesn't seem to give her heart away, but he's hoping he'd be lucky enough to have her wear her heart on her sleeve, and love him whenever she felt like. She comes and goes, like a fast moving freight train, and he's hoping to catch her before she's out of sight, before it's too late. She never stays long because she enjoys being like an enigma, she doesn't want anyone to understand her because that means she's one step closer to becoming normal. But he hopes that he can put the pieces of her heart together like a puzzle, and figure out her soul like it were a riddle. He always watches her trying to figure out a way to understand her because he is as determined as the little sailboat sailing across the ocean to get back home in a terrible storm. But she is the storm that keeps blowing him further away from home and the waves that are keeping in spinning in a circle. And she reads all the time to help her add to the mystery of her life, to pick up new words, new actions, and new ideas so that they never figure her put. She comes and goes, every time coming back with a new hair color and a new wardrobe, and of course a new attitude. He hopes that he can get to know her a little bit more every time she's around but every time she leaves she changes and he can never figure her out. He can't forget her, no matter what. He tries to forget her face, but it's like his eyes are Polaroids, and they snap pictures of her face over and over again, he's losing his mind. He needs to talk to this girl, he needs to at least figure out her name. He's forever misses her, in ways he cannot tell her. He misses seeing her walk into his work, he misses her scent, he misses the little things. If only she was his to hold, if only he could take a taste of her lips.  He wondered if she'd like taking walks to the lake, and maybe skipping rocks across the water, maybe getting to know her, maybe getting an extra hour to admire her dimpled cheeks, or her freckled nose. He can see the scars in her eyes, he wonders if she can see the scars in his too?¿ he wants to know who's killing her, does she want to know who's killing him too?¿ He realizes how alike they are, but he still hasn't figured her out. He doesn't realize that he doesn't even understand himself yet. He doesn't know how she looks at him or that she tries to piece together her heart like a puzzle also. He doesn't realize that he can't understand her because she doesn't understand herself. She knows that she can't discover who she is and she won't understand who he is but she can try all she might, reading the mystery books to help find ways to solve this challenging puzzle to discover what really goes on in his and her minds and heart. He doesn't realize that he's another puzzle and he just hasn't figured out how to open the box.
writing collab with twitter user @xlachrymose
My biggest fear
is that eventually,
you will see me
the way
I see
myself.
Fear controls us. Don't let it. Break free.
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