They don’t know the numbers,
Loser
*****
Lia
Lazy
Lezzy
Lia

The toad! It looks like
it could belch
a cloud.

Sometimes the s in she gets caught in my throat
And the girl I’m about to see turns into a he

That one simple letter that I never wrote
Like its existence just embarrasses me

I’m just not quite there! I can’t admit it out loud
Because what if it makes them think I’m odd?

I’m too scared to let myself stand out in the crowd
To let others see how permanently I’m flawed

So, I choose my fears above my love for her
And pretend I’m something I never were

It feels impossible
to escape these relentless feelings
of worthlessness.
I feel as I am already
6 feet under
everyone else,
and I have been trampled, and suffocated
to nothing, beneath my own doubt
and judgment.

crimson is the body of the fawn,
lifeless on the shoulder.
her mouth hangs open,
gashes trace her ribs.
her disfigurement forcing her
to curl in on herself.
tonight, the earth will envelop her with its caress,
returning her most of her to the dirt she was before.
only her bones will remain
unnaturally positioned from impact.

the mud is still fresh
from last night's rain

but twigs still crunch
beneath my feet

the leaves are green
as we are deep into Summer

birds chirp
squirrels scale

the trunks of trees
and I wonder


and about the price
of tea

in China