I don’t want to hate you
Despise you, place you
Down there in the back of my mind
A dark and brooding place where no one but me will find
You, I don’t want to hate you
I don’t want to blame you  
As the reason I have taken sadness as my lover  
I don’t want to lay awake at night
Wishing evil to befall you
I don’t want stay awake at night
Having to constantly fight this feeling
I don’t want to hate your being
I don’t want to be confused  
Wondering what drove you to abuse
The love I had for you
I don’t want to go again
To that dark foreboding plane
Where a horned being asked me what he can do
For me, I don’t want to even take a moment to consider
To let hatred be my Hearts leader  
And yet as I sit here  
I feel it boiling, slowly soiling my soul
Painting it black, turning into a black hole
*******, taking devouring me whole
It eats me, taking away my bliss from me
And so I am left alone
To again trek across this sea of emotion
Knowing that somewhere within the water’s
A monster lurks just waiting for me to slip  
A single moment a like a whip
Coiled and ready it will nip me
And take me, I don’t want to hate you  
In the end you we all must do what we have to  
But I can never again love you.

i never thought i'd be this person
addict; stealing, stealing, stealing
say it out loud, mom
your daughter is an addict
i'm not saying its your fault you couldn't have known
but you neglected your pills; you left them alone
and i couldn't resist the temptation
seen it on tv. heard it in songs. oxy
oxy.
three letters consumed me.
one taste; i was in love
god, the high
the high it was like
heaven heaven heaven

but soon, two wasn't enough
and thus came the first increased dose
three four five now six
snort them, baby. the burn!
obsessed with the burn
and my glazed eyes, god you could see the ocean

but the comedown was hell
even more so because i was used to heaven
it was hard for me to comedown
keep poppin' em so you're always up
always in the clouds
you wont understand that metaphor
unless you've been there;
unless you've seen yourself floating
breathing slowed
surrounded by white; high