If her smile were a disease,
I'd gladly infect myself.

it’s pathetic
how easily
I think I fall in love

a pretty girl will sit next to me in class
and I see that she is wearing
some cool socks
immediately I think
this is the chick for me
I make connections
on assumptions
about this girl
who I have no idea about
besides her cool socks
and I am happy for a moment
because of this slight potential
for love

so I study her
     hmmm
a band t-shirt
     I dig
skinny jeans
     nice
and a very pretty face
     beautiful
she doesn’t dye her hair
     always a plus for me
she is focused on her notes
     intelligent
and just like that
I’m in love

I start imagining
our future together
how incredible she is
her laugh
...which I haven’t heard yet
I see she has a wonderful smile
and I have so much hope
that she will like me
as much as I like her
well, what I think I like about her
based on her socks

then
she starts playing with her necklace
     ****.
there is a heart on it
with wings
is she taken?
maybe she just got it from a family member
hopefully she did
     probably not
should I still talk to her?

I have fallen in and out
of love
in a matter of minutes
sadly enough
I’m pretty good at this
I do it almost everywhere I go

Watching more attentively than ever.
Sudden yet predicted change,
every second daunting.
What comes next is known
yet unknown,
clear
yet obscure.
As the hand spins
the vision blurs.
What comes next?
Another unprocessed thought?
Another tick in time?
Drawing so close you can hear it whisper,
feel it's swift hand,
taste it bitter.
Time goes on without a stutter
and here we are acting like we control it.

Silence
Broken with a scream

There were signs

A twitch of the eye
A snarl of the lip
A look of despair

Hunger

I ignored them
It was so easy to see only the veil
Watch it dance across your face with each saddened breath

And the silence grew

I did not hear it over the crickets
And the wind
If I had only listened
I would have heard it howling louder still

And it grew
The invisible pain
I felt you drift, willingly

So that when you screamed
We cried out together,

I am alone in silence!

The world too damp for the truth to ignite
Our words too loud to hear
You turn

I am alone in silence.

I dont care for for ppl who lie
Dont say you like me but want to be with someone else
Dont tell me its over and keep going
Stop pretending to be my friend if you talk about me behind my back.
Dont make me look bad to make yourself look good.
So over all that ive cut ppl out of my life
Its lonely but not wasting my time with ppl who can't be trusted
Sick of being backstabbed my kindness mistaken as weakness
im open and honest why do you lie

"No.
No you absolutely can not go to the store to buy some beer
you! you are too young
just stay inside and watch some TV
beer is for losers
no go and make your dad another G&T;
during the commercial break"

Feeling thirsty?
Want to be liked and respected?
want to be fun?
life of the party?
want to be swarmed by a slew of half naked vaginas with legs?
then get yourself a Bud

"Why can't you be happy with what you have?
you know we never had much growing up
and look at us now
a pair of reasonably comfortable adults
don't you want to be reasonably comfortable?
can't you just be yourself?"

Hey you! Yeah you!
what the hell are you just sitting there for?
It's a Friday night why aren't you out partying?
no invitation. ****. Wait I know why -
What's that you are wearing?
you don't know!?
you need some Polo
and some Nike, just do it
throw in some brooks brothers
don't you want people to think better of you
don't be THAT guy in cargo shorts
unless you like ******* alone at night
and here's some Beats by Dre headphones
so you can hear us better
Now I no it's pricey, but don't you want to be happy?
we've got your happiness right here
and it will only cost you
your parents' credit card

"We just don't know what's wrong with you
why are you in such a rut?
get out of bed, go and do something
we got you what you asked for
why can't you be satisfied?
a lenovo 2 in 1?
what the hell is a Lenovo 2 in 1?
A laptop and a tablet?
Why?
Oh, you just have to have one
well I'm sorry, but money has been tight
maybe you should get a job
your birthday is right around the corner..."

Look at this cool guy
Look at how great his life is
you want this. We know you do
what you'll need is some more swag
just a little bit
and some cough syrup, expensive liquor and some ***
plus you'll want some *******
how else can you party this hard?
Maybe get a gun, or a knife
no. Definitely get a gun. A big one
that way nobody will say anything to **** your buzz
carry that big stick and walk tall cool dude
oh yeah, here's a secret for you
keep it to yourself alright?
women really like being treated like ****
we told them to

"What's that?
a gun? For what?
oh so now you're going to **** yourself?
well I'm sorry but we don't do that in this family
you'll just have to be ground into submission like everybody else
what makes you so special, huh?
why do you get to punch out early
shut up, keep your head down, do your job, buy some ****, have a family
then get your kids started with all the **** you buy.
brand name baby clothes and such.
now be a good boy
and pay your taxes
but shush, the TV is on"