I'm floating in place with
no lover to face
trembling, trembling
trembling heart space
I'm spinning in circles
looking for miracles
and it's proving to be
horribly difficult
Trying to fly
with no wings to spread
I crumble and cry
a song for what's dead
the sound of alarms
ring in my head
Take me
cradle me in your arms

You are a blur to me
I cannot remember how many times we have kissed or how often you say my name but I remember the feel of those lips and the way you sound when they are speaking words only for me. I dont know how long I have spent in your arms but I know that hours are not long enough and I know that when you laugh at something I say my heart skips at least three beats. I know that your every movement is vivid and fluorescent to me. I dont know how many times you breathe in a minute but I know that your heart sounds like steady drum and it quickens when I tell you I love you.  And I do mon amour, I do.

Your soul is the sturdy path
On which I walk
Your body beside
Heart inside
Passion so deep
A magical universe
All our own
Obstacles rise and fall
Not as harsh wind and rain
But a newly formed freckle
On your perfect canvas
Gracing not marking
A moment a trial
Forever reborn

Lie to me.
Tell me that I am everything I never was.
Tell me that I am beautiful and watch me tremble and shake.
Look into my eyes and lie to my face, will you?

Why did I build my home on such
an unsteady foundation
of lies and insecurity?
Time and time again,
I swallow my grief
just to blink back tears and brush the truth away.
Stay where you are and do not come near.
Don't cause a land slide that will surely destroy me.
I will be crushed under the weight of so many lies
weakly supported by kind intentions.

Hide the truth for me if you love me truly.
Cover my eyes and whisper into my ears: you are beautiful.
Protect me with your lies.

Aye wassup man, how you been?
I know I haven't come and visit in a long time
I guess I've been caught up in this crazy world of mine
Might as well share a piece of mind
Mom and dad are doing just fine
JJ finally staying outta trouble and no longer in the acts of crime
While jannette pregnant &
Lil ray ray about soon turn nine
**** I ain't fine
I gotta lotta stress that leaks outta my cracked skull
My vivid imagination starting to become slighty dull
I can't hold on to this life, it's hard for me to handle the horns of the bull

Seems since you've left tragedy took your place
Mixed emotions with every woman
Smiles replaced by a dying face
Lost in translation, can't seem to put my words in the right place
Cussing out of anger and applyin pressure to prey, just to see how much pressure they could take!
I'm a monster, I'm pretending to heal the burns of my devilish flames
I'm done with the idea of change
I promise ya *** I'd always stay the same!
It's not you who I blame!
I just am a savage lion who stuck in a cage
Placed in an internal rage!

I just want you to come home
The needles took my bestfriend
While temptation wouldn't leave him alone!
6 years and now I'm grown..still questions linger in my mind "could I have stopped him!?" Living in a world full of the unknown
Taking a risk by writing this and finally speaking my honest truth
Thinking of the sight of you letting the gun shot barrel loose
Close my eyes, put the headphones on and put my sarrows in a world sound of rhythmic mute.
I told you imma write my story and make us a star
I'll allow the world to know you, read my pain...lift the book from my heart and see my open scars.
Prayers as I look up to the stars.

Sometimes I wonder if I should give up on you...

My heart can't take the hurt anymore,
Maybe I should get up and walk out that door.
Seeing you everyday, I wish you would come and take the pain away.
But I know that you won't.
And I just don't want to see you with her any longer.

Maybe if I move on I could become so much stronger?

It may take awhile, but someday I will find someone and instead of tears,
They will make me smile.

Should I give up on you?

Please, I'm begging for an answer.
But I know that I will never get one from you,
Will I?

As for now, I will continue to love you until,
I start to doubt my feelings once again.
This endless cycle will probably never end.
So I will keep on asking,

Should I give up on you?


The answer is no,
Not quite yet....