Humid summer skin
all my thoughts dangling from the tip of the crescent moon
golden orange, smoke filled sky
burning land, clammy hands
you hold them anyway
I get so wrapped up in thoughts that don’t serve me
I get so burnt out by opinions from people who don’t know me
half of them, I’m likely only assuming
and I guess, in a way, so are they
haven’t been feeling much like myself lately
but I suppose that comes with loss
new mournings every morning
and they just keep coming
I don’t remember anymore what it’s like to not feel dizzy
got achy knees, my brain’s horizon is foggy
my broken bones held together with titanium feel creaky
I want to experience just one day
where I’m not critically thinking about my body
the weight of insecurity can become so heavy
it’s no wonder my bones keep creaking
got so many voices bleeding into them and steeping
feeling the eyes of strangers keeping tabs and watching
And I gotta be honest
some days I just wanna disappear
crawl into the earth and hibernate for a year
I won’t stay gone forever
I’m not done here
I just need a break
I’ll repair the damage of whatever I miss with titanium plates
What is really at stake?
Fluff my pillow up under the roots of a willow tree
I’ve got too many blankets giving me the illusion of sleep
It’s just too heavy
not moving isn’t comparable to healing
you can’t ignore what’s still being carried
let it go let it go let it go
throw it into the wildfires
and send it off to the orange moon