You tasted like every shortcoming I had ever experienced.

My toothbrush thrown on to the ***** floor of an apartment that I had to sneak in and out of. The sound it made mimicked the sound of my ribcage snapping from my heart spilling over with a mixture of relief and guilt. You said that I reminded you of going home when you were small. You never told me you hated your mother

Hearing someone say that you were almost good enough to ****, but turns out you aren't as good of a kisser as they had hoped. Remembering that your first thought was you don't have to kiss to have ***

After nights upon nights of sleeping on couches and finally being invited to sleep in your bed. I had already made myself a make shift nest on the floor, when you told me that you would never let someone like me sleep alone. We kissed and I felt the romantic short-comings spill out of my mouth and into yours.

I should've know you'd spit them back in my face.

Ask me why the tea cups have faces on them
Ill tell you how they laugh at things when its not appropriate for me to.

Ask me about why they are filled with shots of tequila
and I'll say that tea doesn't make this conversation any easier.

The ode to saying yes before you should.
To allowing yourself to let him take
much more than you were ever sure you wanted to give.

Why is it that I let myself settle for less.
For the 60 seconds of being the most important person in the almost empty room

I hate you for holding me in your bed like it meant more
I hate you for thanking me for sleeping over
like I had been special
like I had done you a favor.

I hate that you made me think that waking up alone in the morning was normal.
I hate that you never really hurt me enough for me to let go.
You are teaching me to abandon things before they abandon me
my first lesson was you
and I still haven't mastered the art quite yet.

I hate that you are always there when I'm feeling desperate
I hate the way you touch my waist and drunkenly ask me to stay
and how I always do
thinking that maybe I was the reason you wore a button down shirt.

"Most people are too afraid to feel like this, and for that I actually find you incredibly brave"

Sometimes I try to write about you
and how you crushed me into little
pieces of broken heart.
And how you let me sail away in an ocean of
peach flavored *****, and didn't even come to wave me off.

I try to write about how you made me feel small
and unwanted.
How i couldn't manage to handle it gracefully
like girls in the movies do.

But all I can ever think is ******* for clouding my brain and making me unable to do the only thing that makes me feel important.