You are leaving me and i hate you
and the way your feet smell
and the way you never put the ice cream back.
I don't know what I'm going to do without you
I became accustomed to your ***** sock smell...i even like it now
and i enjoy my ice cream a little melted anyways

You are leaving me and i don't care
i can do better than you anyways
I bet you'll never find a girl who won't question your sexuality.
I don't know what I'm going to do without you
What if i never find anyone who can be my best friend while ******* me
you're definitely not gay. i don't know why i said that.

You are leaving me and i am crying
I didn't even love you
It wouldn't have worked anyways
I don't know what I'm going to do without you
i love you and it was supposed to be forever
*I love you and it isn't going to be forever

When you say let's get wasted
I'm sure that you don't mean
That you wanted to be a waste of space
A waste of energy
A waste of a perfectly good night.

I'm sure you don't know
That wasted could mean
To say words that cut up others insides
Like they swallowed the bottle
That is holding your poison.
You get the silky numbness and
they get the brutality of the oblivion

And you definitely don't know
Your son giving you CPR
As you collapsed right in front of him
In the middle of a poker game.
You were even sober.
And then you were dead.

You had wasted all your time
Wasting your chances to say I'm sorry.
Wasted your life being wasted

You can claim
That you were unaware
Of the disaster your body would create
Because mouths say what brains think
And hands touch what hearts want
And sometimes you feel like
You're being controlled
not by your soul
But by a group of ruthless
limbs and organs
That could be exchanged
when you die anyways.

Everyone will open their already satisfied arms
and welcome your starving body
as if they could feed you
without actually filling your body
with the intense affection you need.

They'll place their calloused hands
onto your soft ones that are directly attached
to your newly broken heart
and tell you that just because it hurts now
doesn't mean it'll hurt forever.
Tell that to your own hands mom.

I want someone to write about
Someone who will bend me over a gravestone
and make jokes about ******* the life out of me.

You feel guilty for wishing
he didn't love you as much as he does
It makes you feel like you're letting him rob you
of the ability to have problems with a relationship
to experience heartbreak
to experience unsolicited love.
He gives you nothing to write about
yet you can't tell him that because he hasn't done anything wrong
other than loving you the exact way a person would want to be loved.
In the times of experimenting you're promising him that
he is as beautiful of the stars
and he'll tell you you are as beautiful as the moon
except you want to be the sun.
The fiery hot mass of untouchable energy.
But how can you ask someone to love you less
so you can experience unneeded hurt.
It makes no sense
and is impossible to fix
because you don't want to be 30 someday
wishing that someone would love you the way he did

Dear you ignorant narcissistic fuxk boys,

I left my favorite bra in the backseat of your car...I know that i took one of all your matching socks, but its my favorite and makes me feel pretty like you never did.

Yesterday after i wore one of your old sweaters, I sat next to a girl in class who smelt like your deodorant. It must have ******* with her head cause i did too.

I forgot (maybe intentionally) to get rid of all your sticky notes that you used to leave in my wallet. Sometimes its nice to remember when we were in a beauty of a soon to be hurricane. It doesn't matter, you wanted a housewife anyways.

I used to fall asleep thinking about what pictures would line our fireplace. Our baby girl, our other baby girl, a family vacation, and a picture of us...with a crack in the glass right down the  middle of my face. Oh wait, thats what happened when you threw it at the wall behind my head.

Sometimes i want to tell you these things, but then i remember all i want is my bra back.