I hope your happy
You are officially
The only person
That I've lost
a full nights sleep over.
I don't think you understand
Though how much
Of me you hold in your palm
Because if you did
You wouldn't be
So **** careless

Look for the people
who fall in love with your laugh.
Not ones who fall in love with your style
or your haircut
or your makeup.
Look for people who
love your sneeze
your eye color
the way you wake up in the morning
how you talk when your drunk
how you hold your pointer finger on your nose when your nervous.
Fall in love with the people who fall in love
with the things about you
that are unchangeable.
that way you know they they have
truly and honestly have
fallen in love with you.

If i reacted the way normal people did
than id probably tell you that you are  
a no good, wretched, hypocritical, *******.
Because that how you act
at least towards me.
but because i do not react the way normal people do
i simply take it
and move on.
Half because i don't want to loose you
and half because i can't.

Hello my old heart
i'm sorry to say
that during all the time you took off
due to being broken
you my dear
have been replaced.
For what you may ask?
Because you were always
too busy sitting under my ribcage
knitting scarfs and hats of messy emotions for me to wear.
It made it a slight bit difficult for your co-worker, the brain, to function.
And you know how important it is, that he does.
See this new heart doesn't talk much.
Its calmly sits and listens obediently to the brain.
To be honest, its wonderful.
As much as i remember how fantastic it was
to let you, let me love.
I also remember how much i hated
how you let me hurt.
So now i want you to think of this
next time you are placed under someones ribcage,
If you had only listened to the brain    
maybe you wouldn't have broken
and then maybe i never would have fired you.

The reason i go on carnival rides
is because they spin faster
than the thoughts in my head.
I just needed to know that that was possible

Its kind of like the reason i go to horror movies
I like to know that i have a reason
to be scared out of my mind
even if i actually scared
of myself
not the things in the movie

Or the reason i drink ***** from the water bottle
Its nice to feel all over the place
and not have anyone judge you or think
that you a mess
because you can't handle the stress.

But really the reason i do these things
is because they do an excellent job
of simply hiding what a train wreck i am.

When i first met you
you told me you could do a 360
on a wave
with your boogy board.
I told you i liked to paint
because you looked like a painter.
First of all i was lying.
I can't paint pictures
but i love to paint souls.
I love to splatter them with vibrant memories
and to add on to your mind with soft strokes of pastels.
I would love it more than anything
if you were a painter of souls too.
I need someone to paint my mind
something other than dark moody red and browns.
It would be lovely if you could paint me with yellows
and teals and pinks.
Maybe ill even let you paint my heart
Maybe ill even paint yours.

I feel so small
in the comparison to all of the people
who weave their words
into a web of emotions and thoughts
with confidence.

I feel microscopic
in relation to all the experiences and responsibility
that everyone carries in their complicated minds.

This is because all i have to remember
is to take the chicken *** pie
out of the oven.
and all i have to write about
is how i feel so small