I told myself
I’m going to pull
myself together and
swim until I reach
the surface.
But it’s been six months
since then and I’m still
stuck in this water.
I drowned, and under
the surface I could see the
midnight sun’s glowing halo.
“Grab hold of it”, I said.
But no matter what I do, I couldn't.
I’m stuck in this same place.
There’s dark water everywhere
and the sun never rises.
I feel like I’d been thrown overboard.
But in reality, I jumped into the water.
I said, “**** it, I’m done.”
I left behind the warship I was on.

Dreaming of warmer days,
Walking hand in hand through the sand,
With the one she loves.
She was a free spirit....

Who could understand
People come and go.
Who is left? Who is she?
Sitting down among the stars..

Crying into the wind,
Wanting what her heart yearns
For and having trouble giving in.
Wrapping her soul in the hands of her maker....

Crying to her Lord.
One day soon.. One day soon…

He whispers to her soul....

This day she was a free Spirit.
A spirit was she…..

This day came just like before
A visitor like no other she knew no more
The mystery of her past came flowing gently forth
Singing like an old shoe that would be drowning her soul...

The labor was too much as her hands would bleed
As she tried and tried again to nail herself to heaven
The words seemed scrambled
Falling from the earth....

Hearing the laughter flowing oh so gently
As she sang so softly to ears of no one
Bleeding from head to toe
Just wanting to hear the words
'I love you'....

Hearts break and bend
On those special days
Bursting with sadness
That can only begin...

Looking at the past
The future to come
This day
She was one free spirit and there were more to come……


Debbie Brooks 2014

Nostalgia: It sounds like a disease
And it has infected me.
Worming its way through veins and valves.
I caught it
from robbing the graves of memories.
Trying to gather
the silver linings from long dead moments
dusty laughs
that crumbled in my fingers,
moulding smiles that left spots on my hands
that burned.
out, out **** spot*
I lay down in the fresh earth,
cold, how cold it is.

With moonlight between the earth and her feet
she wanders, shining soul,
the dark of the night
no match for her eyes.

The moon wonders down
at the bright creature,
melds her beams to stairs,
ascend, ascend,
Oh, brightest star.
Ascend to night's embrace.

The night was moist
the sea-winds blew salt
to the trembling lips
which formed half words
and quiet whispers.
The air tasted of memory
and long lost souls.
"What keeps you alive?"
the mad girl asked the sea.
"Or are you dead and still moving?
My father killed a snake.
and it's body moved like waves,
though he held its head in his hand.
It twitched. It twitched," she muttered.
Her laugh broke across the water,
the gulls shuddered, clouds gathering,
and the waves resounded to the hidden stars.
She screamed to the wind as it snagged her hair,
it screamed back
over the breakers.
She laughed
and laughed
and laughed
again.

I am of a strange alchemy.
Iron and tarnished silver,
with porcelain hands.
The rest feels like glass.
Fragile.
Vulnerable.
As though the smallest tremor
could send me falling
to shatter.

I determine to die loved.
Even if it is only
by myself.

Do you believe in
                                 magic?
Do you still live a lie?
Is this your idea of a
                                     fairytale?
Do you believe in
                                you
                                        and
                                                 I?

Magic
                    carpets
                                   and
                                            pixies

                 Powerful
                                        lamps
                                                    and
                                                             pixie
                                                                         dust
            You're living a life of
                                                    imagination
And its you I'm supposed to trust?

                                                                                      I see no reason to hope
                                                                                             for a happy ending
                                                                                                   cause all I see is
                                                                           their looks
                                                                                              so
                                                                                                   condescending.

                                                 is it that hard
                                       to really just know the truth
                                             and grow up a little
                                       and stop living in your youth

its hard for me to make you
                                                     choose
but its me or
                        your dreams
would you rather have that
                                                  happy ending
and let this
                                       *fall apart at the seams?