he held my hand
and he told me I was beautiful
he laid his frozen fragile hand
upon mine
allowing the melancholia
to crumble

he became my shelter
my safety,
my whole

he became my soundness,
my wisdom,
my home

and he came to guide my frame
causing my eyelids
to shut

and he told me we’d do this together

two taps
from a single silver spear
to each wrist was applied
he helped me
to make my truth
fade away

my life is a wreck
a paralyzing car wreck

you are the tree
that came from nowhere
causing me to swerve
into this depression

though the crash was quick,
the recovery will not be
and I will never be able
to walk freely
again

the cuts that line my body from the crash
stem from the shattered glass
made of shattered dreams
and malevolent words
that i'll never forget

my airbags come in a small pill bottle
and though they do not cushion my head,
they cushion the blow
of the destruction

my seat belt is his arms
gripped tighter than a buckle
and stronger than any nylon
that would be designed to save my life

I become lightheaded easily
from exposure to the smoke inhalation
more commonly known as
anxiety

**my life is
an absolute wreck

I break my legs
and feel nothing
for my nerves are shot
and always will be

I break my ribs
and feel nothing
for my heart is shattered
and cannot be repaired

I crack my skull
and feel nothing
for my brain is sick
and broken

I live without physical pain
for I can't feel anything
at all anymore

i'm still falling

still falling

still

falling

always falling

if I had a taste of my own medicine
i’d overdose