laying here, grass hugging me
the smell of dirt in my nose
as I glance up at the stars
big ,bright , beating burning hearts
peacefully it began to rain
I did not move, I couldnt
the starts kept me vexed
each tear shapped drop
reflexs back my stars, falling around me
the dirt shifts to mud
the grass hugs me closer, not letting me go
I stare as the star fade back into hiding
till another day, life floats on

Cold distant morning
alone on the fog bank
watching the animals play
see how the simple things
create so much excitments
evolution is a depressing things
growing with the pain
turning into something
something I am not
cold cement walls holding me
in their warm inprisonment
knowledge forced upon indivduals
who know nothing of real life
like cold distant mornings
alone of this fog bank

his blood runs cold
over my rough hands
the knife falls to the ground
what have I done
why do I feel so amazing
standing here looking at him
he is beautiful , a latino beauty
his chest hard and strong
one clean line down the middle
exposing his organs drenched
in the most glorious crimson
his blood, delicious and warm
down my throat
what have I done
his lower half sits parallel to him
his knee caps missng
femeral artery in shreds
his olive skin going pale
but that face, stained my memory
his thick lustful lips trapped in a scream
I walk away, into new life
all thanks to my latino beauty

Fumbling fingers over premature *******
The hardships of new men
Buttons and clasps, too many to handle
All but means to an end

She fakes smile as, he peels off her shirt
He feels the jump from down below
As she pushes down her skirt
So he rises to the occasion

Her cheeks redden as the curtain falls
Laying back, sweet kisses rain down
A moment so pure when nature calls
Cries of pain or pleasure?

Moment frozen in eternal time
His eyes on hers. Reassuring her
That their love is not a crime
She feigns a smile as he holds her close

The end is near, for him at least
She bites her lip as he confides n her
His face a hilarious picture of a beast
Falling out of her, they dress quietly

The love in hiding, lust under the bed
She lays there a second longer
He smacks the sheets playfully, cheeks turning red
Caught in a memory of when she felt lust for the first time

You can spit on me
The feelings I have
Might break but never crumble
You fall and I watch
As you burn in your own
Stupidity
Laughing as the flames grow
You can’t stop the downward
Spiral to the end
Where you sit, taking
My order, doing what I say
For once you hear
Because you can’t do anything
Else, you are waiting
For your life to begin
Forever waiting
For everything to be
Handed to you
Yet soon, it won’t be

Watch me walk by
You talk about me
To your eager friends
As you think about
My hips, my thighs
My hair, my eyes
Staring into your soul
I watch from behind
My expensive sunglasses
I watch as you squirm
Those jitters I gave you
I make you feel
Don’t second guess me
I am a hell of a lot better
Then you, but don’t worry
I won’t get carried away
I know what I am doing
I will be happy
I will find love
You don’t even know me
Look how you drool
As I walk away from you

Here I am, sitting on the sidelines
I watch them jump and play
Longing to join them, I watch closer
When I close my eyes, I can picture myself
Being like them, exactly who I feel I am
But my world doesn’t work like that
My path was chosen, my wants kept secret
So here I am, sitting on the sidelines
Waiting for coach to put me back in
My eyes wander up to the stands, where my father sits waiting
Waiting for his star to emerge. Thinking I’m happy
Sometimes I wish he would understand,
And sometimes I wonder if I would even tell
Him what really makes me happy?
It’s not Football, or Track, or being Mr. Popular
I have never been a man’s man at heart
Here, deep inside, I am more than that
Deep down locked away where no one can see
Is a heart that aches, and a brain that doesn’t fit
I’m not the man they wanted me to be
Because I don’t want to be a ****
Like those guys I call my friends, who use and abuse
Who care not for a beautiful mind
But a beautiful behind
Here I am, sitting on the sidelines
Made to lie about who I am
Forced to find no joy, no peace
I want to join the book club and
Paint beautiful pictures in many bright colors
I never said I was smart but I know who I am not
Sitting here, Is not who I am
I hear the crowd cheer and glance up at them
As my huge family roars with pride
Coach taps my shoulder, drawing me back
I run onto the field and take my position
Calling out plays, waiting to catch the ball
I fake left, like I faked all my life
I fake right, like all those times to my dad
Finally the ball releases from my hand
In a perfect spiral straight to number 24
I stand and listen for my dad’s voice
“That’s my boy” as my stomach clenches with hurt
My mind fills with regret and I know what to do
The crowd explodes in uproar as number 24
Reaches the end zone, happy as ever, as himself
I look up at my father, he looks so proud
I know who I am and this is not it
I walk off the field away from the crowd
“That’s my boy” no more, I’m gay and proud of it