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 May 2017 Emily B
wordvango
I blush
 May 2017 Emily B
wordvango
which grasp
has hold entirety
depends
moody I am on
Beethoven
immensely beautiful
wandering amiss in his dreams
I feel voyeuristic
red faced caught
looking in the boudoir
glass at my sister
and her young lover
or among tall grass
with heavenly  harped angels
silent breeze clearing my forehead
on the shore
the birds whistle
soft the surge closes
on sand and makes love
with the sun glistening
rapture
and I blush again
 May 2017 Emily B
ej
memoir
 May 2017 Emily B
ej
i don't know where to begin
and you'd then say, sarcastically -
at the beginning

time is a lie but
emotions are not

defining
memories
shaping me gradually
i am a sculpture
made of stone

often i feel brittle but i
know i am strong

in four years i have
grown tremendously
become better
happier
bolder

not perfect but getting there

in the summer heat i will
grow again
turn into my better self
welcome a future full of
hope

thank you for nine months
four times
of self-inflicted horror
and i am sorry i have
not fully appreciated the gifts
you have given me

these warmer months will give
me time to ruminate
 May 2017 Emily B
Wk kortas
Well, some you lay, and some you marry,
(As if womankind is some thing
To be sifted, sorted, and graded
Like so many eggs or lima beans)
But then one comes, smudging all those lines in her wake,
Scattering such easy dichotomies to the winds
Like so many dandelion seeds,
A woman seemingly composed of nothing save some essence,
Yet substantial, fecund, prolific,
And you find yourself wholly unmoored
By no more than a glimpse of her,
The mere imagining of a word wafted your way
A thing of inexplicable delight,
An ecstasy all but *******,
But such dreams serve nothing more tangible
Than as reminders of your utter unworthiness,
Your tainted admixture of rank brass and tuna-can metal,
And so you vow to re-cast yourself
Into something which is worthy of her,
Or at least something demi-desirable,
But such a remaking proves your unmaking,
A transformation not of as the humble cocoon,
But one that leaves you cartoonish, less than a man,
Braying and barking, not even worthy of the scorn
Of she for whom you forsook everything
And yet you would do so again and again,
The bewitching and utter annihilation of all you were
A grail unto itself, an immaculate radiance
Which the tips of you fingers, the brush of your lips
Would leave irreparably sullied.
 May 2017 Emily B
Xoi
Monsters
 May 2017 Emily B
Xoi
Its all forming patterns
leading me further into
this gravitational pull
starting where the earth ends
and water begins.
Right between the first handshake
of the confident sea with
the masking sand and stretching
onward, continuously
swinging safely on rippling vibrations
that are never the same twice
and yet I feel I'm predicting the waves.
As far as the eye can see
is the focal point which though
uneasily attained seems to willingly
engulf me every time in the
fact that the ocean is the only being
that hasn't deceived me once I
let it drag me in.
 May 2017 Emily B
Xoi
7282016
 May 2017 Emily B
Xoi
Strange how people hint
and never follow through
How words don't precede actions
and it rains when skies are blue

Buy your girl some flowers
and you break them on the train
Your loved ones could be liars
but their nose still stays the same

You can swear all you want
make promises with rings
But this worlds a tricky guy
who gives some birds broken wings
 May 2017 Emily B
Xoi
Farm Ln
 May 2017 Emily B
Xoi
I never asked you to stay.
I didn't expect concrete to form
around your feet
or give you a leash to keep close.
All I wanted for was company
at the times I wanted to
remember how a heart beats.
It isn't enough to brush your leg
or accept your embracing touch.
I liked reminding myself I'm
not the only one with
permanent damage and
tracing your skin helped
to instill in my thoughts
that maybe someone
had ruined you too.
Just maybe my outline
wasn't strong enough and
Your shell had no choice
but to crack
 May 2017 Emily B
Xoi
3.30.2017
 May 2017 Emily B
Xoi
I was asked what I would do
if I was given the blessing to be able
to see the future for just a moment and
spaceships soared across
my mind and I'd love to know
if scientists gained any knowledge
on the puzzling concept of holographic love
and I'm also strangely curious if anyone would
think in years to come to recite vows to their computer
but just as advances are beautiful
so is how we tend to fester and so
subconscious overgrew, engulfing
as I pondered what I would
feast my starving eyes upon
and I had seemingly no other
option but to change my focus to you
and ask you if you'd depend
now without hesitation
on the truth in the words you used
to recite to yours truly like a bridge
to get you from the beginning to the end
of the void that is now between you and I.
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