he is the unlost lost boy
the one who sold his soul to reality
to escape Neverland, get out of the dreamworld
because no matter where you go,
your hometown is always your enemy
a thing of your destruction, a catalyst to your demon's whispers
but you will always miss it when you move on
as he drifted off to sea, his eyes were overwhelmed with waves of blue
his cuts were cleansed with ocean water, then doused with sea salt
he's really cute when he's high
and even when those blue eyes are so far gone, they're deeper than the ocean
and they light up at 1 am for the dumbest reasons,
because he finds comfort in the littlest things.
his voice in the darkness is my lullaby,
my ode to staying up to o late and regretting it in the morning
but then I remember a story,
or a laugh,
a dare,
or a secret
and I realize he is my hometown.
He is the beat up white car to get me out of here
and I'll pack him up in a cardboard box,
spread him out on my floor when I finally miss it too much
and realize maybe it wasn't so bad.

there's a map beneath my skin
but the lines point in
all different directions
a slash for the boredom,
a couple for the chaos
follow it to where it splits
and tell me that it's okay
and i'm "just a little sick"
you won't lay in my bed
once you see what
it's like inside my head
so please just
don't wander in at all
cause i'm so *******
sick of helping you find
your way out

drunk *** is more logical,
you moan things you could never say sober,
your moves fumble but end with awkward
names shout out and nails
filled with blood and dead skin cells of people you
don’t want to
remember.
drunk *** makes more sense to me. because i feel more
****, more alive, yet more devastated.
so when i’m ******* you, i’m trying to ****
out the problems i can’t seem to
erase.
don’t take it personally. well, that’s what people try
to tell me. yet i take everything personally.
(i’m working on it)
i’ll keep having drunk ***,
and trying to mend the bruises that i crave for,
trying to bandage the heart that i can’t find the
beat for
anymore.
people tell me they don’t understand why i’m crying,
and all i can say is,
same here. i don’t get it
either.