Yeah I totally love being single!
You can do what you want whenever you want without obligations or having to think about anyone else you can flirt shamelessly with as many guys as you like, there is no pressure to look good for anyone I love that I have all this me time where I can spend a Saturday night reading and listening to the music I like without trying to decode mixed signals in text messages
I never have to depend on anyone but myself.
No one is stressing me out by depending on me.
I can sit by myself on the couch home alone when everyone else is out
And feel completely isolated, unloved and unlovable
I can feel so ugly and obsess over it
I can scroll through pictures of pretty celebrities and models and girls I know online bitterly wishing I looked like them and could be like them so that maybe someone would notice me and give me a chance
I can scream at the radio for playing stupid love songs
I can eat ice cream and chocolate wondering why I am such a waste of space
Thinking of all the guys who have rejected me and dropped me over the years
Have no one to love
Or who loves me
No guy I can trust with my secrets and loyalty
No one who needs me
No one to want
Or make me feel wanted
To spend nights together
Just talking
And watching movies
Being cutesy and flirty with
Lie hand in hand with
No one I can gush about to my friends
No one I can bake for
No one I can buy stuff for, just 'cause
No one I can do random couples stuff with
No one in my life
It's pretty great.
I love being single.

Okay, new rule:
My friends who I love are not allowed to die on me ever.
I don't want to have to find out like the friends and classmates of this student did today.
Don't. Die.
I don't want to be called into class to be told that you died.
Don't you dare die on me
Because I won't survive.

What a good system
I can cry for hours all alone at night
But in the morning
If I smile
No one knows
Great.

Apologies for my breakdown a little earlier.
Expect more.
I'm a very emotionally unstable person.

You don't like me?
Wow I'm so devastated
I'm going to go die now in eternal misery and disappointment
OH wait
oh yeah! that's right!
I literally do NOT care at all!!

Really mean bullies are like slinkies
Not good for much
but they bring a smile to people's faces
...when pushed down the stairs
Some truly unkind people
who hurt others to build themselves up
are pretty much still alive
Only because
It is illegal to **** them
But you know what?
Maybe that is just because they need a high five
...in the face...
...with a brick.

I have run out of words to express myself.

I think I'm losing myself

In my obsession with beauty

Because I can't. ever. be. beautiful.

And there isn't a word

To explain

THIS kind of self-loathing.

You know why I'm obsessed with makeup?
You know why I literally BREAK. DOWN. when I see myself in the mirror on one of those REALLY ugly days that I have?
You know why I seem f!cking vain and beauty obsessed and attention seeking because of how self-deprecating I am?
You know why I am currently crying...alone...on my bedroom floor...kind of pathetically?

Because now I'm a little bit scared
That maybe I DO have a disease of the mind
Maybe I DO have something in my head that isn't right
It just seems so impossible
Because I mean
I look in the mirror
And all I see is this hideous shameful beastly girl
So ugly
In fact, I genuinely feel terrible for the people who have to look at me
and I don't know why
I just don't see how anybody could ever possibly think that I am pretty
And for some reasons I'm crying right now
And I feel really alone
But no no no
There is no way I really have dysmorphia
Is there?

I feel embarrassed
Like I come across shallow
And stupid
And makeup obsessed
Because I can't ever see myself as pretty
NOT EVEN ONCE
not even decent
Not even reasonable
I just. see. UGLY.
and ashamed of my face,
And ashamed of my obsession
With cosmetics
Because it is like the only medicine they made
To fix this affliction
Makeup can make up for how ugly I am
maybe it can fix me
maybe I won't hate myself anymore
but it never does
and I hate crying alone!

You
Me
Them
They
Us
Her
Him

I need a break from all of that. No more memories. Please. Just stop.

How to deal with an addiction to hellopoetry:

Step one: Admit you have a problem

Step two: Start by limiting your time on it

Step three: Join a support group and share your feelings

Step four: Have the people in the support group talk to you about quitting hellopoetry.

Step 5: Slaughter everyone within a 10 mile radius with a chainsaw and go back on hellopoetry

Step 6: When the police knock on your door offer to help them sign up for hellopoetry.

Step 7: Creepily pet your chainsaw like a cat.

Step 8: Never mind, I'm too busy on hello poetry

Once again I wore my spiked choker and wristband today
I haven't worn them in a while
Because everyone thinks I'm depressed when I wear them
But I realized I don't care what people think of me
I'm not hollow like I was the last time I wore this
So that is all that really matters
This is my little symbol of rebellion
Against hatred
To say to those who prejudge me and hate me:
F!ck you
I'll do whatever the hell I feel like
Your approval is not needed
I'm happy dressed this way
That's all that matters
I encourage everyone to have a little bit
Of that "F!ck You Attitude" today
Just little symbols of rebellion
Draw a black X on your wrist today
In black ink
If you support
Being yourself regardless what people think
And through this little ink symbol
Though apart in miles
We will be united in spirit
Be YOU :)
X

The problem is
If I still starved and cut
People would care
Because I would be destroying my outer-self
They don't care that you are anorexic and depressed
As long as you don't bring physical harm to your body
The pain inside never matters because they can't see it
Well I hate my face
I hate everything about my body
My ugly arms and legs
Scarred, dry, cracked, ******
Ugly ugly ugly
Face too square
Unfeminine jawline
Eyebrows too thick
Nose too wide
Hair too bland
Eyes the color of dried blood
And ugly ugly brown
There is nothing I can do though that hurts me
When I try to fix it
The worst thing I could do
Would be to put on too much make up
They can't see how much I hate my f*cking ugly self
But I can't hurt myself
So it doesn't matter
Who cares
Ugly can't be diagnosed
So clearly I am not ill in the mind
I am just ugly
Only no one pays attention
To that
Because they can't see that pain
The way they could when I could count all my ribs
And I slashed my wrists
They can't see it
And I can't either
But I can FEEL IT
Even if it doesn't hurt on the outside
It hurts on the inside

Μισώ τον εαυτό μου
   και είμαι κολλημένος με τον εαυτό μου
   αλλά τουλάχιστον
   Δεν είμαι πλέον
   Κολλημένος ζουν μαζί σας
   Αδελφές για πάντα Σκύλα
   Και το εννοούσα
   αλλά σας
υπήρξαν
αποκήρυξαν

I have a disease.
It's called Ugly.
It isn't fatal though.
What a shame. :(

I feel like a *****.
I say a lot of really unforgivably cruel things
To myself
All day
Everyday
It's been years since I have spent a day
Not muttering insults at myself
But they are all true.
I can't decide if truth or kindness should win when it comes to hurting myself emotionally.

I want to carry it with you.
I don't need to know your burden
Because it probably won't really help
And you probably don't want to tell me anyway
I get that
I've been there
I am there
I know people who have been there
I know people who are there
If you don't have one, you probably will one day.
Most of us do.
Because we live in an ugly society
But a beautiful world
If you want someone to know
If you want ME to know
That you are carrying a heavy burden
You don't need to tell me
You can if you want
I will listen
I will help you bear it
But if you just want someone to know you are carrying a burden
And nothing beyond that
Comment a heart <3
Just leave a heart like this: <3
If you want to share your burden
Message me, or comment telling me your burden
Just know, it doesn't make you weak to share your burden
It makes you strong
Regardless what you do, comment with a heart if you carry a burden
And I will know, even if no one else on the entire earth does
That you carry a burden
I will know that you are strong
And I will genuinely take some time at night
To ponder you, as a soul
And your strength
And try to find a way
Inside myself
To put myself in a mental state where I help you to carry your burden
Emotionally
No matter how many miles apart we are
I will be with you in spirit
To help you carry your burden
And I wish all of you love and strength
You are soldiers
You are all strong
<3

Love Ember

I woke up on the right side of the bed but on the wrong side of the world
So it’s back to the drawing board again as it draws to a close
You cost me an arm and a leg and I broke a leg with the act that I put on
You jaywalked across my life the way that every story goes

MY HEAD IS A TWISTER IT
SWEEPS UP EVERYTHING
I CARE ABOUT AND DEST
      ROYS IT DISPLACING
        EVERYTHING AND
          MAKING A MESS
             WHY ARE MY
                THOUGHTS
                SO DESTRUC
                  TIVE WHY
                    MUST IT
                    ALWAYS
                    HURT TO
                     EXIST I
                      HATE
                       THE
                       TOR
                        NA
                        DO
                         TH
                          AT
                           IS
                           M
                            Y
                            M
                             I
   ­                         N
                            D

So you think I am ugly, stupid, worthless, weird, fat, unpopular, annoying, and overdramatic?

Thanks for the input. Maybe you're right but all I know is, it doesn't bother me :)

You are still beautiful inside and out. <3

Don't waste my time
I have so little of it
But
If you're going to waste my time
Make it worth the pain
Make it a wildride
Don't tell me lies
I don't have room in my head for those
But
If you're going to tell me lies
Make it worth the betrayal
Make it a pretty lie
Don't talk **** about me
I've taken enough of that in my life
But
If you're going to talk **** about me
Make it worth the exasperation
Make it creative
DON'T waste my love though.
No buts or ifs
I only have so much of it left...

Les arbres et les ombres
Chuchotent au vent
Les épines sur les tiges des roses dans le parc
Sont juste un type de beauté différent

Hey you.
Yeah, you.
The one looking in the mirror and hating yourself.
The one muttering your flaws to yourself.
STOP bullying yourself.
It is not okay to bully anyone.
That includes you.

Haiku

That was really cruel
First you break down all my walls
Then you just break me

10 BEAUTIFUL POETS LIST/CHALLENGE


Hi there. I think you are beautiful people and poets if your name is on this list.

Here is the list.
There are more and I have done another one like this but if I just paste every poet I like on this site's name then it doesn't meant anything there are too many so I'm going to post later ones with the names of the poets I really like but I'm going to limit it to ten per post.

I strongly suggest you check out their poetry because it is amazing.

The order of the names has nothing to do with the quality or my favor they are all equally loved by me in different ways for their work which is all a different shade of beautiful.

I invite everyone to post a poem with 10 beautiful poets' names on this site that people should check out.

Yet another one of my challenges. If you do the "10 Beautiful Poets Challenge" add "10beautifulpoets" as a hashtag so people can find it.

Also feel free to message me if you post one of these so I can check them out too :)

Just a great way to let people know about specific beautiful poets out there.

Include something about their poetry specific to that poet beside their name. :)

Here is my list for the day:

Pamela Rae moving and powerful seriously incredible work also super amazing person

Frank Ruland Amazing person amazing poetry amazing work

Just Melz Strikingly stunning poetry deep and brilliant pieces brave person so strong

Jennifer Weiss Wonderful poet and person lovely work very heart-touching

Bipolar Hypocrite phenomenal poet and strong person work is extraordinary in a magnificently unprecedented way

The Girl Who Loved You Lovely souled person, lovely poet, work is gripping and positively outstandingly fantastic in every possible way imaginable

Elsa Angelica Achingly tragically and beautifully relatable poetry internally and externally beautiful poet, her poetry is beyond exceptional it speaks for itself a MUST read type of poet

Frankie Crognale Addictive poetry exquisite person with a flawless soul strong and insightful poet with an eye and heart for seeing deeper into life

Nurul Unbelievable poetry marvelous person and work is so perspective altering and dizzyingly astonishing

Starry Night Breathtaking poetry. Literally. You need to read it, it will tug at your soul. Awesome person and I can see Starry Night's spectacular poetic heart expressed through the words of her work.


So yeah!
Check them out! :D
Repost if you get the chance so more people see it and check out these beautiful poets!!

#10beautifulpoetschallenge

You know what yes
I DO miss you
I miss our inside jokes
I miss laughing so hard I can’t breathe at the back table
I miss passing coded notes
Getting in trouble together
Playing the cup song in health class
Laughing at funny quotes on your phone
I miss accidentally breaking your whiteout
I miss texting every night way too late
I miss being able to trust you with any secret
I miss how you would never say an unkind word to me
I miss how we really truly believed our friendship was forever
I miss your dumb owl jewelry
I miss you always having to borrow money from me
I miss you always trying to convince me to put my hair up in a bun
I miss ordering the same Starbucks drink as you
I miss calling each other sisters
I miss YOU
But you died
I have already mourned your loss
I have grieved for your death
I still feel pangs of sorrow on lonely nights for you back when you were alive
But at some point
After a death
You need to move on with your life
It is just hard because there is this ***** with a capital B
The one who killed you
Who walks around ******* up everyone’s life under your name
She looks exactly like you and murdered you
Then decided to be a f!cking *****
She shattered us
She BROKE our sisterly bond of friendship
She pushed us away
Bit by bit isolating herself from us
We still thought it was you at first
We didn’t realize this horrible soulless ***** had replaced you
Because she looked exactly like you
Now I loathe f!cking owl jewelry
She sleeps in your bed every night
And no one else knows that you were killed by a ***** who took your place
I miss the old you
I really do
And sometimes I hear songs that remind me of You
And I cry
I’ve cried 6 different times in the last 7 days listening to a song that reminds me of you
But this murderous ***** who killed you
And goes by your name
And shattered me
SHE is not the same person as you
And I loathe her
I feel no love or attachment to that cold-blooded girl
I want to electrocute her
and light her on fire
and skin her alive
and cut off her limbs one by one
and then her head and display it on a pike
for killing you
and damaging me and those I love
I don’t miss her
I miss you
You are two different people who just happen to have both occupied the same body at different times
And go by the same name
You can’t come back from the dead
It has been over a year
I miss you badly
And I hate her horribly
But you died a long, long time ago.

Repost if you can relate at all.
Sorry for the violent bit, I just love very deeply as well as loathe very deeply and I am way too bloodily-minded... sorry....

I am drowning in obligations I am going to die. Augh.

Dear  Elsa Angelica,
So I have read through your poetry.
If you were made out of five words
Bent and tied with ribbons to shape your soul
Those words would be
Inspiring
Kind
Talented
Beautiful
Strong

I don’t know you
Your story
Your secrets
Your pain

But
I know that your poetry inspires me
Really it does
You are a kind person with loving words to offer at any given moment
You are so poetically talented it is outrageous
You are so, so beautiful inside and out
Your soul is beautiful
Your words are beautiful
YOU are beautiful
You are strong
To have held up so many others who were crumbling
You are STRONG
To have held up yourself
And been strong enough to admit when you are weak
I have selected some of my favorite lines of yours and responded to them.
I want you to know
I think you are a speechless and precious type of beauty that doesn’t exist anywhere else
Please keep writing
Because your writing
Changed me inside
And it keeps me going
Alive, not just existing
And I want to thank you for that
For fueling my smile
~Love~
Ember

I want to be
Happy once and for
All.
But how do I start
-Elsa angelica

What a lovely wistful wish verbalized for the rest of us who all wonder that same question. Pretty words, but also so much more than just pretty, so glimmering with deep meaning every syllable. You are so gifted with the pen.

I did not mean to hurt you.
I am sorry I caused you pain.
-Elsa angelica
You are so brave and should be admired and acknowledged for your strength in admitting you are sorry for something and apologizing for pain you may have caused. I have such extreme and overwhelming respect for you, reading this. Putting kindness and goodness before pride. You are wonderful.

Love is love
-Elsa angelica
So poetic, so simple, so brilliant. I can’t even say anything else, the line speaks for itself. Your work speaks for how exceptional you really are a person, as a poet and as a soul.

In autumn...
the leaves fall
like slow
motion rain
-Elsa angelica

I know this is an entire poem but I couldn’t split up specific lines I liked I was just so in love with this entire poem your wrote. Powerful imagery WOW.

Good bye
Fake love.
-Elsa angelica

You are wise to recognize falseness in love. We all struggle with that and we all struggle even more with farewells. You are admired and applauded by me for these lines. Magnificent poetic phrase. I adore this.

I know I was not a pretty flower
I know a few thorns I had.
-Elsa angelica
Oh, but even a flower with thorns is beautiful. As my close personal friend and Hellopoetry Poet friend Ena Alysopriano so wisely once said to me when I was calling myself a ****: Don’t confuse wildflower with ****. Well now I say to you, don’t confuse thorns with being unbeautiful along those same lines. You are so pretty on the inside and outside. Your work, your spirit, the way you choose to live, how kind you are, what a difference you make. Nevertheless, this line in the poem you wrote is gloriously delightful. Seriously. I am amazed.  

Cuz fear is knocking on my door
-Elsa angelica

Such an excellent metaphor, so achingly relatable to basically everyone and so genius. Incredible write by such an incredible poet. You. Are. Phenomenal.

Elsa,
Thank you for writing.
I just want to express my appreciation and gratitude for what you bring to the art of poetry itself.
Stay beautiful.
I think you are remarkably exquiste.
<3
Love,
Your ever admiring Ember Evanescent


EVERYONE SHOULD CHECK OUT HER SPECTACULAR WORK!!

You name: Austin.
To you the definition of Austin is your title. What people call you. It has come to signify the person you are to yourself.
To Her, however (and I capitalize “Her” because important things should always be capitalized and someone who loves you as deeply as she does certainly deserves capitalization at the very least)
To Her “Austin” has a different definition.
To Her Austin means: A good person who respects Her.
Do you understand the rareness of that trait?
In today’s world a good person who even knows the word respect is unheard of.
And yet here you are.
And it is so magnificent
Just know this:
That makes YOU magnificent
Because She can honestly say
You respect her
In this world where values are built on the idea of: “Take what you can, the wholesome decent people will walk away empty handed”
For you to boldly brush aside all of that
And bravely live by honor and respect
It is admirable and it makes you a wonderful person
It is a feat far greater than any man who spends a thousand hours with his loved one
And does not respect Her
To Her Austin means: A smile brighter than the glistening starlight. The  type who can make anybody laugh no matter what the circumstances
A smile that she loves to see, that just makes her happy to lay eyes on.
That is so phenomenal that you possess such an ability to practically display sunshine with a simple grin. For your smile to make Her happy. To be something She loves about you.
You are so, so deserving of her love because you have been gifted with a very unique talent
It is extraordinarily uncommon
To be able to heal people
Through the beautiful thing we call laughter
You can make anybody laugh
And humor is not just a hobby or something to keep television interesting
It is an exquisite
Lovely thing
Somedays, people are in times or frames of mind
Where logic and reason can’t fight the emotions they are having
And surely, many times
It has been incredible, incredible YOU
That saved them from their own thoughts
Without you even knowing what a difference you have made
With your splendid gift
Of humor.
Humor is a spiritual healer and that is what you are
A spiritual healer
No wonder She loves you so much
To Her, Austin means: Someone who loves Her and who She loves endlessly
Look at the beautiful, beautiful soul of the woman who loves you
Look at Her and smile that smile She loves so much
Because She looks at you
And sees a brilliance you could never begin to understand
Yet somehow She sees it in you
And you are so, so worthy of Her love
Because love is one of those things
Not measured in time
Or minutes spent physically near each other
In fact
Love has nothing to do with physicality at all
Your bodies may not be near each other’s everyday
Maybe you don’t hold her hands in yours every second
But your heart and Hers are intertwined
You love one another
Love cannot be severed by the sharpest blade
Or poisoned by the most lethal of all venoms
Love defies all physicality
Nothing tangible can destroy it
So never ever compare your worthiness of Her love to the amount of moments you spend
Physically close to each other
It is your souls being close to each other
That makes your bond of love so unbreakable
So beautifully unbreakable
Even if your days are flooded
With work and hours buzzing with business
You FIND time you MAKE time to text Her
And that is such a marvelous sacrifice
Such a charming thing to do
So worthy of love
The fact that you CARE
Because in those moments that you DO talk
Over text messages, face to face or over the phone
A little eternity passes
And you may not be able to give Her all of your time
But to give Her your tiny eternities in between work and life’s prior commitments
Makes you so worthy of Her love
You need to see how deeply and endlessly She loves you
How your name carries thousands of definitions for Her
In Six little letters: Austin
Has come to mean so, so much to Her
Because you don’t need to give Her all of your time
You just need to give Her all of your soul and heart
And you do
So please smile your wonderful smile
Let your wonderful soul shine
Know that you are so precious and special to this one woman
Who has eyes only for you
Because you are WORTH it
And know that you are every color and shape of wonderful
To Her
:)

You know what?

I genuinely believe that I am unlovable.

Not even in the self-pitying way, I just have thought about it and I really think that no one could ever truly love me.

I have too many flaws that get in the way.

If I am imperfect then I can't be perfect enough for them

If I am perfect then I am not the quirky beautifully rare girl they want

I am too violent and weird

I am too hateful and grudging

And the worst part is

I don't even WANT to stop being violent and weird or hateful or grudging

I wish someone would love me for it

because I love those who are deadly loyal, absurd, not afraid of a little violence (not abusive, just to be clear. I do not support that) those who hate things because the more passionately they hate, the more passionately they love as well. And someone who holds a grudge actually cares about things. I would love a boy who was all those things but no guy wants a girl who can't let go of things and spends all her time muttering to herself about how worthless and ugly she is because that has become my hobby I don't even realize I am doing it sometimes.

I just don't think anyone could ever really truly fall in love with me.

That makes me kind of sad I guess... :(

Okay.
Sure.
Play victim.
Play with drugs, cigarettes and alcohol before you can even legally drive.
Play with knives and fire.
Play with all those things you swore you never would.
Play with the bad kids.
Play unloved.
Play overdramatic.
Play this game you love so well.

...because no matter how good you are at it sooner or later you are going to lose.

I can't wait, I hope I'm there when you do.
Because you wrecked me.
And I am STILL healing.
The scars on my wrists
are all your fault
the reason I sometimes can't eat more
than a yogurt and half an orange for lunch
is because of YOU
the reason I hate myself
the reason my mother can't trust me around blades anymore
the reason my mother cried for so many nights
because you broke her
you broke me
you SHATTERED my friends
and loved ones
you triggered her
you led to her eating problems
you contributed to the slits on her arms
the scars are STILL THERE
you made us genuinely want to **** ourselves
and HER
the one who was so strong she never drew blood
you even drove her to trying to with a pushpin
a f!cking pushpin
thanks to you!
we used car keys when we got desperate
scissor blades
safety pins
needles
construction paper edges
nailclippers
the ends of wires
circle makers
the backings of earrings
so many more things
sitting alone
you turned everyone against us
everyone
all of our friends
the whole school
our families
EVERYONE
you wrecked EVERYTHING
you killed us.
made us want to **** ourselves
now I just want to **** YOU

so go ahead
PLAY.

Hi there. I think you are beautiful people and poets if your name is on this list.

Here is the list.
There are more but if I just paste every poet I like on this site's name then it doesn't meant anything there are too many so I'm going to post later ones with the names of the poets I really like but I'm going to limit it to ten per post.

I strongly suggest you check out their poetry because it is amazing.

The order of the names has nothing to do with the quality or my favor they are all equally loved by me in different ways for their work which is all a different shade of beautiful.

I invite everyone to post a poem with 10 beautiful poets' names on this site that people should check out.

Yet another one of my challenges. If you do the "10 Beautiful Poets Challenge" add "10beautifulpoets" as a hashtag so people can find it.

Also feel free to message me if you post one of these so I can check them out too :)

Just a great way to let people know about specific beautiful poets out there.

Include something about their poetry specific to that poet beside their name. :)

Here is my list for the day:

-AllAtOnce magnificent and seriously extraordinary poetry

-Spencer Craig genius and wonderfully written

-D'Arcy Sahn Hilarious and lovely writing with good meanings

-Ena Alysopriano Powerful and phenomenal writing seriously life changingly exquisite

-Theara Steglaidias  Incredibly spectacular poetry and such original fantastic ideas and well structured

-WickedHope Particularly relatable, BEAUTIFUL work AND poet

-Sir Poet Genuinely kind poet also STUNNINGLY superb and deep poetry

-Thomas A Robinson Excellent poet and poetry, fabulous work

-The Creep That Loved You Divinely marvelous poetry you need to read more than once and awesome poet (pretty awesome name too ;P

-Parsavagely Kompenere  Unbelievably relatable and strikingly delightful deeply moving work and wildly talented poet

So yeah!
Check them out! :D
PLEASE REPOST THIS SO THAT AS MANY AS PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE GET INVOLVED IT WOULD BE COOL TO TELL LOTS OF OTHER PEOPLE ABOUT AWESOME POETS SO THEY GET OO ENJOY THEIR WORK TOO AND MAKE IT LIKE, A THING. 10 BEAUTIFUL POETS CHALLENGE. I ENOURAGE YOU TO PARTICIPATE! :)

I watched as it pulled out of the station
Knowing you were on that train
And it breaks my heart
I fight back tears
Because YOU are on that train
And I was really hoping that instead
That train would be on you.
That would have made me so happy. :)


If you feel pity for her like I'm being too harsh and homicidal read the notes.

Wow. You ****.
Free of any metaphors or similes, hardly a poetic phrase but made out of extreme hurt and hatred because that is really all I have left to say to you.
If you can apply this to anyone or anything in your life, then repost.

I wish I knew what love the scent of love smells like
I wish I knew how death feels
I wish I knew what terror tastes like
I wish I knew what crazy looked like

I do have theories though

I bet love smells like you

I bet death feels like a mix between sleeping and those times when you are just existing when you should be living

I bet terror tastes like you swallowed a bolt of lightning

And I bet crazy looks like me.

I've seen hobos and hippies at bus stops
Goths, drunks and stoners
Pretty skinny girls with Starbucks in their pretty hands and leggings
Quiet girls with notebooks
Guys who are loud and always smiling
Guys who keep to themselves
People wearing a moustache and a skirt
Mothers with 6 children and a pet bird perched on their stroller
I always wonder of them
I have seen you
With your nice eyes
And silence
The quiet way you don't speak
How you always wear long sleeves
And I wonder about you
...Does anybody ever wonder about me?
I doubt it.
You have to be interesting, to be wondered about.
Or in a movie.
Or a book.
Or a fairytale.
You need to live in daydreams.
I think I need to move.

Thanks.
For calling me all those pretty things
everyday
for months
and months
being the center of my thoughts and conversations
being the guy I tell my friends about
because I have never liked a guy the way I like you
and no guy has ever liked me before at all
you are pretty much beyond out of my league
and yet somehow here we are
telling me you want to take me on a picnic
being so wonderful
being a writer and a poet
being gorgeous and handsome
being wonderful
such a wonderful person
making me fall for you
then after WASTING
so many months of my time
you HUMILIATE me
when I have to call my friends
and admit to them
that you texted me
and told me you were in love
with some other girl
in "love" my ***.
Please.
Don't make me laugh.
...or cry.
:(

I met her by the way
she is the mother of all *******
and also doesn't wear actual shirts
just these loose pieces of fabric with slits along the sides
that show everything
that she refers to as a top
I've seen bikinis that are more modest
but whatever
I'm just in a good mood
because you dropped me
so quickly
like it was nothing
and watched me fall
all my friends sharpened their battleaxes
and called you all sorts of colorful things
but I was still sad and disappointed
but I am in a good mood
you know why?
Today I saw her making out with this guy
she is either dating him and NOT dating you
so you lost her
or she is cheating on you
so HA
now you know how it feels to be replaced
you **** well better not try and get me back
'cause now I realize
back before you let me go
I thought I didn't deserve you
because you were so wonderful
and I was worthless
now I know I was right
I don't deserve you
because no matter how much I loathe myself
and I really do
Even I don't deserve
a worthless waste of space player like you

Is it wrong that I wish somebody would take time our of their day to notice me?
Is it wrong that I wish someone would CARE that I exist?
Is it wrong that I want to be loved by someone who isn't related to me and is a boy?
Is it wrong that I am so selfish that all I think about is receiving love from someone else?

I'm such a despicable human being because I want a boy to love or at least like me so badly and I don't appreciate those that DO love me already it's just that I really want love right now.
Is it wrong to want that?

Is it wrong that I feel like every poem, story, letter, grocery list for God's sakes that I write feels unnoticed and uncared about and lost?
Like a shout into silence with no one around to hear it?
I feel like I write and no one reads
I speak and no one listens
I scream and everybody pretends not to hear
I love
AND NO BODY LOVES ME BACK
It would just be so nice if someone sacrificed a little of their time
to notice that I exist
and that I have a voice
but I really don't feel worthy of that
and this pathetic self-pitying point I'm at
is a low point for me
I'd be too ashamed to say it out loud that I feel unloved
that I am so selfish and self-pitying
but I gotta write it
to get it out of my system
this lonely unwanted unnoticed feeling
like I don't exist
like no one cares what I have to say
Is it wrong?

Pfft I don't need a f!cking man to make me feel loved and happy

Why else would we have chocolate?

I mean really

Chocolate doesn't mind if I am a *****

If I *** really badly

If I eat it (guys would never let you do that! And I bet they wouldn't
taste as good ...okay that's creepy. let's not think about that.)

If I wear what I call my: comfy-lazy-day-clothes and the rest of
humanity calls: hella-ugly-as-****-clothes

If I don't' wear makeup

If I bag on myself

If I sing. For 9 hours... straight...

If I ugly cry

If I literally act SO unbelievably insane it is actually scary and not pleasant or normal or safe and probably merits a psychological analysis

If I am too busy to hang out with it

Chocolate has never told me it loves someone else

Chocolate doesn't mind at all if I **** so badly at most sports that
dolphins are better throwers than me... and runners...

Chocolate doesn't ever care if I read so much that I forget to like, eat or
sleep or breathe or brush my hair or get dressed or get out of bed or put on pants or do anything else.

Chocolate can deal with my insane mood swings

Chocolate doesn't hit on other girls

Chocolate doesn't care that I'm not ready to like, you know "get serious" with it (that would actually be really disturbing let's not think about that either)

Chocolate accepts me for who I am and never judges me
(Although that is mainly because it is edible and inanimate...)

Chocolate respects my boundaries

I love chocolate

See? I don't need a man to be happy.

Who am I kidding I'm lonely as hell. :(
Why am I so pathetically dependant on love?
AUGH. I guess I'll just go and eat some chocolate.

No, I don't think you understand how rare it is for me to like you

To just find you attractive because that is fairly common for me

But actually like you like you

Because those are two very different things

Attraction and affection

No, I meant Affection

It should be capitalized

What I mean is

I don't like ALOT of things

Seriously

I’m freaking negative

I am the queen of all pessimism

I don't like:

Bad grammar

When people pronounce words wrong

People who say Pacifically instead of Specifically

Overly optimistic people Example:(Oh your family is in thousands of
dollars of debt your sister just killed herself and your boyfriend just
cheated on you with your mom and you're pregnant with the baby of
the guy who got you drunk and slept with you without your sober permission who happens to have just moved to Asia to escape having to care for you and his baby? Well, you have your health!) –stab-

The number 9 it sounds like it’s on the edge of something. I hate wishy-
washy numbers that don’t go all the way. Resolve to ten already!!!

Movies where there is a completely impossible happy ending thanks to spontaneous magic

Apple juice

Most flowers

Pink (the color)

The Sun

The month of April

Girls who don’t know how to wear pants. Or a shirt. Seriously. Those aren’t shorts. That’s just a belt that ***** at being a belt.

People who try to ****** me

People who freak out at me when I try to ****** them

Mondays

Tuesdays

Wednesdays

Thursdays

Fridays

Saturday­s

Sundays

F!CKING MONDAYS AND TUESDAYS

When people pronounce french words WRONG

PEOPLE who pronounce french words wrong

Reality TV

Holidays that don't even get you a day off from school

Ducks that are yellow. THEY DON’T EXIST the bath toy company is LYING TO YOU

Sticky hands

The color yellow

The color orange

Colors that just seem too… happy. It makes me want to light them on
fire. And impale them.

Obnoxious hair colors

Girls who wear jeans and skirts simultaneously

Overly colorful rainbows

When people talk into your ear and you can feel their warm breath.

Being drenched in water

Character or word limits

Signs

When I get all disappointed because I dreamed someone I hated got hit by lightning and it doesn’t come true

When I wish really REALLY ******* a star but it just doesn’t come true. Then I have to go and fill the grave I had all dug up for them.

Plastic hangers

Man, I HATE plastic hangers

Walking

Running

Standing

Any kind of action that doesn’t include limply lying around

When I look at someone with extreme loathing and they don’t spontaneously combust. It’s very sad.

Raisins

When you THINK it’s a chocolate chip cookie and it turns out to be
raisins. MAIN REASON I HAVE TRUST ISSUES!

But, I do like you.

That’s saying something.

I LIKE YOU.

Really.

Honest.

But you don’t realize how rare that is.

:P

…God, I’m so violent. I should have that looked at...

Well, there's your positivity for the day

Dear WickedHope,

You are a beautiful shade of exquisite.

I have read you poetry and it saved my wrist many times.

From harm that I would have inflicted.

Your poetry has made me feel less alone.

Your words that you wrote

The words made out of you

The emotions that you sculpted with letters

Have saved me from myself

Many times

And you are so strong

So beautiful inside and out

So deserving of love

And it sounds like you have gotten hurt

A thousand more times

Than anyone could ever deserve

I genuinely admire you

I want to recognize you for your flawless poetry

And your unbelievable strength

Dealing with all that you have

And being brave enough

To wear the mask we all do when we have burdens

To keep secrets you don’t deserve to be forced to keep

I just want you to know

I can’t love you on a personal level

Because I do not know you on a personal level

But I love you as a poet

And I really hope

One day

You learn to love yourself as you deserve to be loved

And someone loves you the way you deserve to be loved

Stay brave and beautiful inside out.

<3



Causing bigger and more severe problems
That spiral outward like my depression
Taking out everyone, everything around me
Except I'm still here, and that's unacceptable
-WickedHope

This scares me. It also shatters my heart. You are so, so incredible. All of your poetry has completely altered my views on many things and been relatable to me and in that way, it is form of healing for me to read your work and find poetic phrases that directly apply to my life and it makes me feel less alone, and I really think you are a spectacular poet and person. There is a literal aching agony in my chest to read these magnificently written yet tragic lines. Please don’t hurt yourself anymore inside or out. Please don’t want to hurt yourself anymore. I am so thankful to you for your poetry.

I pretend to be okay
You pretend that you care
-WickedHope

You are so. So. Strong. To pretend you are okay, no Hollywood actress compares to those who act like they are fine when they really are not. It looks (judging by your poetry) to me that you have had to be an actress far too many times and ACT like you are okay. Well that “YOU” person in your poem may have pretended to care but I really do care. I applaud you for an acting job well done. You are brave to pretend for that long that well. I hope you don’t have to pretend like that anymore because you are wonderful and you deserve wonderful. You worth something. Don’t tell me I’m wrong about this.

But now I know I'm not enough
I'm not enough to deserve love
-WickedHope

You are more than enough. This is a beautiful and poetic line, by the way. Listen, I believe that when you write poetry, that work that you create is more YOU than anything you do, say or how you behave in life. I have read your poetry and you are one of the most deserving of love people I have ever come across. You can’t see how amazing you are.

I'm so fake sometimes
     But this is real
     I love you
     But no one loves me
     Not even I
     I just want to feel loved
     But I probably wouldn't even
     Recognize love
-WickedHope

Such incredible poetry, I am amazed. My soul is crumbling as I read this though. I hate the idea of you feeling unloved. Of you not knowing love. I loathe that idea. But you touched on an important aspect of life. So many of us are so fake, love so much and do not feel loved and do NOT love ourselves, myself included but one day soon, you will find love. You don’t need to recognize it, it just needs to recognize you. And it will.

Why is it we cure pain with pain?
-WickedHope

Because it is the only thing we know and we can’t bring ourselves to look for anything else so we think that further pain can heal us. It never does though, of course. What an insightful thought. You see life through a lens made of poetry. How beautiful. I admire that about you. You are an extraordinary poet.

Dear WickedHope,

You. Are. A. Precious. Perfect. Human. Being. Worthy. Of. Love.
And recognition and you don’t deserve the pain you have suffered depicted in your poetry.

Thank you for writing. It has changed and saved me as a person on many occasions.

~Lots of love~

-Ember

I don't want the first time I get drunk to be because I want to escape reality.
So I gotta do it soon.
Because things are pretty perfect right now.
And that is usually when my reality morphs into a hellish nightmare I need to runaway from.

It never hurts to be kind.

So sacrifice a little of your time just to be kind.

It never hurts to say hello.

So sacrafice a little of your comfort just to say hello.

It almost always  hurts to say goodbye.

But you gotta sacrifice your past sometimes to have a future so sacrifice your relief from pain and just. Say. Goodbye....

Dear TheEndOfForever

I’ve read your poems.

All of them.

You seemed like the type of writer who has a writing style worth reading every single one of their works.

I liked as many as I had time for but after a while I just read because I got lost in the words you wrote.

I just want you to know that I would have loved to have liked them all (if I had more time).

I don’t know you personally, but I read your poetry and I believe you are a very emotionally brave person.

Sounds like you have been through a lot.

Lots of it sounds similar to what I’ve been through, but we have all got stories to tell.

The unpretty kind.

I just thought I’d let you know that you are the externally as well as internally pretty kind of person.

Unpretty things tend to happen to those types of people.

It sounds like you have been scarred in many ways, the way many have, but it is just as horrible.

It hurts my heart to think that you have been in pain because you are a truly phenomenal poet.

Lots of your poetry contains powerful and agonizing emotions.

Tales of heartbreaking experiences and incidents.

Beautifully written, but beautifully tragic as well.

I took some of my favorite lines of your poetry and responded to them.

I just want you to know, you are recognized, acknowledged, admired, commended, and loved as a poet by me.

I hope this doesn’t freak you out, but I just want you to know that your poetry is one of the few that has truly affected me inside and inspired me.

I am proud to know you as a fellow poet.
Know that you are beautiful inside (judging by your poetry) and I don’t know if that profile picture is you or not for sure but if it is, outside as well.
Honestly though, I don’t care about how beautiful other people are externally.

You are a very strong person to have survived through everything your poetry depicts and anything else you haven’t shared.

I admire you for being introverted and so accepting of yourself that way.

You are a lovely person and poet.

Stay strong.

<3



You don't bother to check me, though you must have your suspicions
I never wear the proper clothes for these ungodly conditions
Its hot as hell but I love my long sleeves
What more proof do you need than these?
-TheEndOfForever

I’ve been there. It hurts when they are oblivious because it is as if they don’t care but just know that not knowing and not caring are two different things. Since you posted this poem, I know that you have an scarring secret to hide. You are brave to keep it secret. Also, relatable and incredible writing. I love these phrases.




I am the dark one,
And the dark one is me.
-TheEndOfForever

Darkness is beauty as far as I am concerned. Magnificent poetic line.




I'm nothing worth holding onto
You would drown trying to keep me afloat
-TheEndOfForever

I think you are worth holding onto. Some people are worth drowning for. You seem like one of them. Still, powerful imagery and metaphor. What an extraordinary idea to introduce.





Listen, I'm sorry
-TheEndOfForever

You are very brave and strong to be saying you are sorry for something. I admire you for that especially since I struggle with sorrys. It takes a small person to latch on to pride and never say they are sorry. It takes courage to admit being wrong or remorse. I applaud you for this. Also, relatable and raw poetry. Lovely line.




My love for you is just too much,
So this burden, I won't share
-TheEndOfForever

So achingly relatable. You are so, so beautifully selfless to protect them out of love, sacrificing your own relief of sharing your burden and carrying it alone just to unselfishly save them the pain. I absolutely adore this poetic phrase.






Dear TheEndOfForever,

Thank you for writing these exquisite works of art made out of words and emotions.

You are a compliment to the art of poetry.

You have inspired me and amazed me.

From one poet to another: You. Are. Beautiful. Inside. And. Out.
So is your poetry. <3



~Love~

-Ember

Goodbye.

With a period.

No: Ps

None of that: by the way I will always miss you

Zero: but ifs

I won't add an: unless...

To the end of this goodbye.

This one is forever

So when I see you again one day

Don't try to speak to me

Because you are not the you I used to know anymore

You have changed

I have said goodbye to you

You can't harm me or those I love anymore

You can't ***** up my whole life anymore

You are a stranger to me

...and I was always told not to talk to strangers.


Repost if you need to say goodbye to someone eternally.

Tortured
Loathed
Hurt

Oh, but no, no. Of course I'm fine.
After all, in this society, it is not okay to be not okay.

Dear Silver Tongued Shadow,

I came across your poetry and I can see traces of your soul inside it all.

I don’t know you, you don’t know me.

Neither of us know what the other has been through.

Seems from your style of writing and the way you portray your images
made out of letters that you are strong. Not one to be messed with. Fierce.

You seem to be your own shade of beautiful darkness.

I have selected some of my favorite lines from your poetry.

They are magnificent.

I think you deserve appreciation for your work.

Because our work, is a puzzle piece of who you are.

So I recognize, acknowledge, applaud, appreciate and admire who you are.

Thank you for writing, because regardless how small and insignificant I may be in this big, big world

Your writing has powerfully affected me.

I am inspired by the stories you tell

The feelings you express

The messages you spell out

With the words of your poetry

You are a truly phenomenal writer.


It is the ones who know the pain of reality that make their dreams true....
-Silver Tongued Shadow

A beautiful, tragic and truthful phrase. Sort of like literature’s equivalent of a tearful smile. Lovely writing.

Sitting in a class with unfamiliar faces
Trying not to collapse while my heart races
None of them know of the hit I took last night
It wasn't even worthy of calling a fight
-Silver Tongued Shadow

So achingly relatable. An important hardship so many of us face, and yet we are always alone when we do. To have been hurt and have no one nearby you know, trust, or who could possibly understand or care enough to possibly understand. To be lonely despite not being alone, to have a heart going faster than the speed of light and trying desperately to keep on a brave face, and know inside yourself that no one here knows at all the pain that lives inside of you.

I feel a little lost, but that’s okay
I can make it another day
-Silver Tongued Shadow

I marvel at your emotional strength. It is only the nerve and sinew found within ourselves that is enough to keep us going when we are at our frailest and many of us can never be strong enough to discover it inside ourselves. It is beautiful and heartbreaking to be lost but to have to be okay. For you to muddle through it and accept difficulties is an inspiration to me and all of those who have felt that.

Love to me
Is about seeing the light inside the one who can only see darkness within
-Silver Tongued Shadow

Such an exquisite thought. A fresh perspective on love that has entirely altered mine.

I’ve never been much of a person. So many mistakes I have already made.
And it is quite too obvious, that no one would care if I was to fade.
-Silver Tongued Shadow

I don’t know if you are writing this about someone else, or yourself or if it is current or a feeling from the past that doesn’t hurt you anymore but if it is yourself, just in case, I want you to know that I would care if you faded. You have made a difference in my life with your poetry and view on the aspects of life, love, reality and dreams. Mistakes ARE what make people. Whatever bundle of flaws you might see in yourself, are like jagged pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Together they make a beautiful picture. If it was just a general comment, it was very well written and many people who DO feel that can find comfort in that sense of empathy reading your work particularly this line. Thank you for writing this.




Dear Silver Tongued Shadow

I hope you never change a thing about yourself or your writing.
-Ember

Okay, so basically the last time I knew you
Like really knew you
You had sharp edges
But I loved you like a sister
I really, really did.
That's why it almost shattered me
When I stopped knowing you
Because you changed
In a horrible, horrible way
The last time I stopped knowing you
You were a wildfire
Spreading too quickly
Destroying everything you came near
Everything that was ever close to you
Including us
Including me
That's when I really didn't know you anymore
The last time I really didn't know you anymore
You were just on the very edge of the chasm you created yourself
Living in a world of black, white and gray photographs from the past
The last time I saw you
You were a silent blizzard
You wore that same old long sleeved shirt
And I know why
Now I hear about you
With the wrong crowd
Probably with a cigarette between your teeth
Smoking ****
And God knows what else
I remember when you would look with distain at those who are so young
And killing themselves slowly
Now you are just another one of them
Now you are just another lost stupid teenager
Giving up on being strong
And you know what
I would almost feel sad
That the girl I loved like a sister
Has died
And been replaced
With whoever the hell this ***** is who looks like you and goes by your name
But you know what
I don’t even care anymore
***** you
You broke our bond, me, those I love and care about
By extension also my mother, ruined things for my family
WRECKED your family
So ***** you
I laughed when I heard what a disaster you have become
Because all those other last times
You had sharp edges, were a wildfire, lived on the edge of a chasm, and wore long sleeves
Now your edges have slit your soul,
You’ve set fire to your own life,
Fallen into the endless abyss and are tumbling to your death
With worse secrets than just a couple cuts on your wrists that sleeves can conceal
You are going to be a mess by the end of this
But you know what
Good.
I don’t care
I have a life to live
And just because you have given up on living
Doesn’t mean I have to
Sorry it had to end this way
But it is really your fault
And I am never going to forgive you for that
For what you did to me
A couple hours ago
Was the last time I heard any news about you
And now
All you are
Is a mess
And dead inside
But I’m not
You won last time I suppose
But now
I have finally won
Because I am alive and happy
And you are not
You can’t hurt me anymore
And now
You are just hurting yourself

Repost if you can relate to any part of this

We look at storm clouds through the window side by side
And all you can see is storm clouds
I see metaphors in everything
But you really don’t
It’s just finished raining and the sky is a dim murky gray
I point out the beautiful raindrops on the window pane, my favorite sight
All you say is: Yeah, so?
I see beauty in the littlest things
But you really don’t
You have never complimented me on anything other than my looks
You only ever tell me I’m pretty when I have make up on
You barely look at me in the mornings
When I wake up with a natural unpainted face
Sipping my tea and reading
You’ve never read a single one of my poems
And whenever I cry about anything no matter how serious
You make an excuse to leave
You order me a salad every time we go out to eat
Without even asking me first
You never let me drive your car
But you toss your stoner buddies the keys every other day
You use the words music and noise interchangeably
You call me overdramatic a couple too many times
And it is getting old
Not funny anymore
Well, actually it never really was
And yesterday I bought a pretty rose for our apartment’s kitchen table
After you finally came home from work
You stripped off the thorns
The ones I left on purposefully
Then right after
You whispered a very hollow and cold: I love you
You kissed me with my hand in yours
Ran your thumb along the skin on my knuckles
And told me my skin was too rough and dry
One of my many imperfections that I am most sensitive about
You told me to go put on cream before you held my hand again
Is that what you are doing to me?
Stripping off my thorns?
So that, Derek
Is why your things are all packed up and left outside our door
Because unmetaphorical you
Who never REALLY got me
Who never REALLY liked me
Who CERTAINLY never loved me
Couldn’t handle my emotions
And tried to change me to fit
Your perfect little image of me in your mind
Calculating, icy, stone frozen rocky you
That I thought was so wonderful for the longest time
Are getting kicked out of MY apartment today
There is supposed to be a thunderstorm tonight
So I can play a little of my “noise”
While I watch storm clouds
And see more than what they are literally,
But what they mean symbolically
Not wear make up without feeling too ugly for you
Look at beautiful raindrops on the window
Drinking tea and reading
NOT eating salad
Writing poetry that you won’t refuse to read
Because you won’t even get the chance to say no
Since I won’t be inviting you to read it
Be as thorny and overdramatic as I feel like
Cry if I want, without feeling like I’m being a burden to you
Making you uncomfortable
Make my world of metaphors that I live in
And buy a new rose
And KEEP the thorns

Repost if you are PROUD of your thorns

They say if you cry, you cry alone.
They say it’s a dog eat dog world out there and it isn’t made of sugarplums and rainbows.
But there is a pretty side to this world.
Smile and the world smiles with you
Laugh and the world laughs with you
Hysterically cackle for 10 minutes straight
in dead silence for no apparent reason at the local supermarket
and the world slowly backs away from you
and calls the mental hospital (then you scream: I can’t go back!!)

Ohhhh, riiiight! THAT’S why I don’t have a boyfriend!

Repost if you are just insanely weird like me.

To my best friends

a vow of loyalty

I swear to you, if a punchbuggy drives by, you will not be able to move your arm for a week.

I swear to you, I will help you finish anything you start. Especially your fries.

I swear I will impale any guy who cheats on you.

I swear any guy who breaks your heart will wonder how his limbs came to be unattached from his body over night.

I swear any ***** that gives you trouble will wonder where her eyebrows and ears when, in the morning when she wakes up.

I swear I will protect you from everything and anything I can.

I swear I will care more about your problems than you do.

I swear I will not only be more concerned about your love life than you are, but make your happiness love-wise my own personal mission in life above any of my needs.

I swear I will let you outrun me if there is a bear chasing us. Mainly because I **** at running, but also so that you can get away. No, it is mostly because I am bad at running.