12:05 am, drunk text, honest words
fingers brush the send button
message sent reads the screen,
sweaty palms, backtracking
hit delete, no use

eyes close, deep breath
message received


1:00 am, sober thoughts
angry groan, swear words
escape your lips,
waiting, hoping, praying
hit open, no use
eyes close, deep sigh
no reply

3:16 am**, point of no return
parallel realities flash by
one good, one bad
one yes, one no
call him? no use
eyes close, almost asleep
one new text

Life flew by in the blink of an eye
That is, my life with you
4 months or 4 seconds
I can no longer tell the difference

Tick tock

1 Mississippi
I'm entranced by your eyes
Writing poems of melted chocolate
Does my name fit with yours
How perfect our life will be

Tick tock

2 Mississippi
I've never felt the way I feel
When you look at me that way
Like I'm a fish, on a rod that you reel
I could never leave your side
And you could never leave mine
But I'm afraid
Scared to death
Of what the future will bring
You say to trust you but I just don't know how, but I'm ready to open to you

Tick tock

3 Mississippi
You get better everyday
It's all down hill from the first kiss they say
But to me that was a bold faced lie
You're arms wrap around me
Filling a gap I never knew was there
No longer do I fear
You are me
And I am you

Tick tock

4 Mississippi
We are getting so close
Ready to be soul mates
But as the milliseconds tick by
It's starts to open my eye
When you say this
I say that
Maybe we aren't that right
Suddenly
You hugging me
Doesn't feel the way that
It should be
And as the clock strikes four seconds
Our life is over
Because I cut it, ended it
And wether it be our life or yours
It seems all the same
Since I feel like I'm standing now
Over the body of the boy I killed

Tick tock
Goes the broken clock

5 Mississippi
The rest of the world
Counts on
As I lay
Broken
Haunted by your endless echo
Why?
Yet deep down
I know one things true
We were never a five second thing

3 weeks sober and I feel good...
who knew being normal would make me feel so much happier.....I never knew it would.....

I just want to stay for ever this way.....
and just need to be cautious and take it day by day......

First World Problems:
My coffee is too hot.
He/she made fun of me.
My Iphone is too old.
I'm too fat.
I'm too skinny.
I'm too ugly.
Nobody likes me.
I need more followers.
Need I go on?


There are more important problems in this world:
Starvation,
War,
Droughts,
*** trafficing,
Slaves in general,
Crime,
And so much more.

So why are we all so self centered?
And I know I'm a hypocrite for writing this,  
Because I do the same things.
But just stop and think how lucky you are to not have to fight every day just to get something to eat.
Think how lucky you are to have a place to live.
Be grateful for what you have and live every day to the fullest.

you said, "you're not afraid to love
you love kittens, you love rainy weather,
you love shakespeare and sweaters
movies and being kissed
on the tip of your nose
new york city, you love beaches
and the few times it snows
you love crime tv, you love poetry
so why is it that when it comes to me
you feel hesitant?"

i said, "i will tell you, the reason
that i am guarded
yes, i love all of the things
that you listed.
but shakespeare never wrote me a sonnet
and then disappeared, leaving me stranded
new york city may drive me crazy
but it will always be here, you see
poetry may tear me apart
but it won't look me in the eyes as it does
do you have an answer, now, to your satisfaction?
please listen, believe me,
i do not fear rejection.
i fear giving up all of my secrets
only to find you've painted yours
on someone else's skin."