I’m not much like him

You’ll find that if

You’re a lover of
Rough romance that bruises the skin
And arrogance

I won’t be able to satisfy you

But if perhaps you

Could consider a gentler love
A warm caress that will
Buzz and whisper on your skin

I could suit your needs

A chance?

Life is split by our only purities
Black and white; hate and love

But which were you?

You started out as gray; so I screamed and smeared you black
It was easier to darken something than make it lighter

But which were you?

Perhaps you were pale enough for me to have lied
I could have just blurred my eyes and made you white

But which were you?

You made my world rotten; gray
Some parts dried white and others soaked in black

But which were you?

You’ve been gray since forever
And you’ve grayed my senses

I feel your tenderness underneath my bare feet;
see my face as a reflection
of a flame, in your eyes.  
One thousand teardrops
fell from your heart,
love swallowed each one.
Tasting comfort inside a smile,
a heart grows fond of drinking
love’s replies.

Your words fall as leaves
into the river of my heart‘s desire,
come to life
as I exhale them as poetry.
Each breath I take
rises against another,
creating feelings inside my heart,
ringing in tones that listen to each thought;
bringing such a lovely peace
to me.

I am embraced by breezes
stirred from a lasting love
that has grown strong like an oak tree,
it bends but never breaks.
Love now sails as notes
pouring from my lips.
My heart leaps with joy
and sings replies perhaps unheard,
but felt with each breath
I take.

There has always been excuse made for the behavior my father has displayed.
The mean spirited remarks at family gatherings, feelings hurt and egos bruised.
Everyday routines have turned into the **** of a joke
There is nothing you can do to stop it. He'll always be an *******.

There once was a time when I wanted a relationship with my father.
I used to try to find ways to communicate with him, in the plainest of ways.
I tried for years but . . .
Nothing ever worked, I failed every time.

Spending your childhood afraid of a parent and never feeling loved
It leaves you broken, and feeling unwanted.
There were times when I looked at the father/daughter relationships all around
Jealousy overcame me. I cried at night because my uncles were nicer, my grandfather was nicer.

Little did I realize back then as a child that things would work out.
I had father figures in my life, just not a father - I had many fathers.
My seven uncles would protect me from everyone and everything.
My grandfather would teach me to swim.
I would get a love of the outdoors from them.
I would learn to ride a bike, tie my shoe, mathematics, and self-defense.

My father is still a hateful, passive aggressive man.
Someone that no one truly wants to be around,
I think sometimes that even the TV anchors despise him -
Maybe they can hear him calling them names and yelling at them when they cant pronounce a word correctly.

Time has passed by, I'm in college now.
I'm a part of the International Honors Society.
I've made the Dean's List every semester.
My father has yet to acknowledge my accomplishments.

Somedays it hurts, others I could care less.
When I run into my uncles now, they see me two ways.
The girl they helped raise, and the woman I have become.
My uncles always greet me with a kiss hello and a compliment.
I know they're proud of me, that's what matters.

The man who is a seated statue in front of a big screen TV doesn't care
The men who showed me the world and continue to encourage me do.
I remind myself that I am more like them.
They are the ones who raised me.