Yesterday

Our fingers interlaced
Our hearts intertwined
Our lives interlocked
We sat in church
We soaked up the sun
We traveled up the Coast
We prayed at the Mission
We had brunch in Ojai
We shared salad at the harbor
We danced and played and loved each other
Your smile filled my soul
Yesterday was 30 years ago
I’m sorry that I failed you

Home is where
The wrong word is a slap
crying is a belt
noise is
cigarettes on your back

Home is where they hurt your dog to hurt you
Where the boyfriends come and go
Where the drugs and flesh
are sold

Home is cops
Pounding on the door
Drunks passed out on the floor
Kids asking for more...
Food

Home is needles
it’s pipes
It’s tweakers trading their lives
for a high

Home is spoiled milk in the fridge
Empty boxes and cans and
Roaches crawling
Everywhere

Home is burns and bruises
Scars and stitches
and frequent
accidents

Home is damp ***** stained carpet
smells like ****
I want out of it

No matter how

Home is where
You have a corner of the fridge just for your stuff

It’s where you hide your journal,
Where a fat cat makes your day better,
And where dessert CAN come before dinner

It’s where you skinned your knee
climbed a tree
and learned to make spaghetti

At home,
you’re not popular
or
unpopular
You’re just you.

It’s where you can be neat or sloppy
It’s where Mom lives
and Dad
doesn’t

Home is where you know the creaks in the floor
The code to the garage door
and where you can always go back for more

It’s a comfy couch
dishes in the sink
and warm socks from the dryer

Home is a familiar cocoon
That you must leave
to build your own

Today

They screamed
They mocked
They demeaned
They berated
They castigated
They excoriated
They hollered
They yelled
They scolded
They criticized
They condemned me to Hell

And when I shot them
they died

Make no mistake…
I can live without you
I can thrive without you here
If you leave,
I can move forward
I can get great results
I can contribute to others

But why would I want to?

What can I do to lift your spirit
to lighten your burden
to spark your smile?

How can I be more present
More compassionate
More loving?

How can I be the miracle that your heart needs right now?

Annie’s jagged features create an ominous shadow
Known locally as the kielbasa murderer,
She dispatched her victims with wretched exuberance.

She hunted them while they languished in public spaces
Masquerading as an angel of mercy, she offered food and drink,
Warm blankets, and kind, uplifting words.
False hope for those whose sustenance she had poisoned.

When her evil was complete
The dead were gently covered
A small shrine constructed
And a perfumed goodbye note placed nearby.

"Dear Beloved,
I could no longer bear your suffering
This last measure of comfort is given with all of my love
To assist your transition to a higher place.
With Radiant Peace,
Annie"

Annie helped more than 200 souls transition to a higher place
Then she disappeared.
Dead?
Imprisoned?
Or just moved on…

No one knows for sure.