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Elli Sep 2014
"Sorry isn't enough"

Then I am sorry for being insufficient
for i cannot fix a broken heart
nor give back the time we lost

all i can offer is myself
and even i am not complete

but this is all i can offer
and this is my everything
but sometimes everything isn't enough
Elli Sep 2014
He will love you as if it's the most important thing he will ever do,
and he will love you hard.
You will feel his presence with you all the time,
so used to his body heat that his absence on a summer day will suddenly make you shiver.
He will accompany you to your favourite cafes, sipping on your favourite drinks and his laugh will echo in this tiny little cafe of yours,
and when you only hear your silence, sipping on your favourite latte doesn't seem so relaxing anymore.
You will always go to the parks, because malls aren't really your thing,
and he will lie down with you and just stare at the sky while you familiarize yourself with his breathing,
and the sound of his heart will suddenly be your music.
When he's gone, you will feel that the silence in the park is so excruciating that you would rather go to a mall and try to be lost in the crowd, drowning your pain with endless chatters.
You never saw the harm of sharing the things that you love with someone, until you hear him say your name one last time,
and you grew to hate everything.

Because the person who made you feel alive is gone,
and you will feel that you are invisible again to the world.

But it isn't the end of the world, even if it seem like it is.
Because one day you will be able to drink your favourite latte, or go to the park, and you wouldn't mind the silence anymore.
One day you will forget how his heartbeat sounded like, and you will think all heartbeats sound the same.
Until you forget how he pronounced your name one last time,
because it's all in the void of forgotten past.
Within those silence you finally grew to enjoy,
a "hello" will break through and someone will share
their favourite lattes with you, or the best spot to lie down at the park.
(editing)
Elli Aug 2014
you were my eternal bliss,
my sunshine,
my moon,
i would've reached the stars for you
and i thought you would do the same

you were my river
endlessly flowing
my heart beats for you
yet somehow yours didn't beat for me

you are my own destruction
the clouds that covered the sun
and the storm that poured forever;
the stars stopped shining
and i stopped reaching it
because i realize i was standing on a cliff

you are the rock that constricts my river
the one that blocks the blood in my veins
and i have a heart
that already stopped beating
the river was only an illusion
it was simply an arroyo
who never saw the rain
arroyo-(Physical Geography) a steep-sided stream bed that is usually dry except after heavy rain
Elli Aug 2014
You broke my heart with your harsh words,
and I broke yours with my silence
Elli Aug 2014
Don't tell me I'm beautiful,
because I've heard that a thousand times
and I bet you've said that to other girls before me;
Like an old shoe, tainted with mud,
or worn-out clothes.

A word that simply scratches the surface,
but barely reaching the inside.
It hangs in the room like dust,
so used and common,
being thrown as if it's the ultimate prize.
As if it just slips out of your tongue,
a word you've always used.

Tell me I'm breathtaking,
as if you hold your breath whenever we're not together
waiting to taste the air again the moment you laid your eyes on me.

Tell me that even the thunderstorms clear out when I'm around you,
or maybe that you feel the sun shines brighter.

Say that I am intelligent,
that you always feel at awe when I speak
because it seems as if the angels were the one
who spoke the words.

Tell me that my voice is sweeter than honey,
and that my laugh is contagious even to strangers.

Because these are the things that I am dying to hear,
metaphors that are waiting to be used.

This word has been splattered on me like a paint,
and I cannot be a masterpiece if it's simply white.

So paint me with words and metaphors that you haven't used
and make a galaxy out of me,
because surely everyone is a masterpiece simply hiding beneath the white paint.
(still editing)
Elli Aug 2014
I feel like dying,
but that doesn't matter.
I feel nothing,
but that doesn't matter.
I feel unimportant,
but that also doesn't matter.
I go to sleep wishing to never wake up,
but then again, it doesn't matter.

I guess a smile and "i'm fine"
is all that matters.
i don't know. i'll probably delete this later.
Elli Aug 2014
oh darling, darling
bury me with the earth
i grew to love

sing me a song of sadness
let it make you insane

let me see your pain,
the city must mourn

bury me here,
the city where i died

the place where you broke my heart
where everything collapsed

no, this isn't the city i lived in
but rather where i died
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