gather your veins
and run as fast as you can

call your past
preparation

baggage slows you down

tears
heavier
than mercury

let them go

He held my hand,
then cuffed it to the ocean
I knew
I could move my hand
but I never learned
how to swim

It all starts with a single glance
followed by a few words of fluttering romance

that's when the lies begin
and trust me, deep down we know

however, we still choose to go down that same road
because although its a road of lies, its a road of loving lies

*and who doesn't like to feel loved?

Our ancestors' DNA
altered our own

I bet
My ancestors
were runners

Maybe they
ran from lions
ran from fire,
ran from fear

Sometimes
I have the urge to run
I would be sitting in class
And it would suddenly hit


My fears are indescribable,
Unspecified

I run
from conformity
from reality
I run towards habit,
I run back home

Reverting
to my old ways

Falling
in the same hole,
black hole

I run
because I don't know
how else
to silence my brain

It yells so loudly sometimes
Sends impulses
Stronger than lightening
And my muscles shiver

I can't stand still
whilst self destructing

I need to know
That I've tried

I have tried
To fix myself
In the only ways
I know would work

Even if they are
The same ways
That ruin me

Imagine how love fades
after it invades
the privacy of every thought

Imagine how words dissolve
after they evolve
into frustrating emotions

Imagine how people leave
after they receive
all what they want


The first questions is
why do you feel empty inside?

Didn't love (once) take your side?
Didn't words always abide?
Didn't people sweeten the ride?


Things that took a part of you,
gave another part back.


The second question is
weren't you the one who let them take parts of you?

Didn't you allow love's invasion?
Didn't you accept word's evolution?
Didn't you add people to your life's equation?

Things that take a part of you
only take it when you let them to.


The third question is
didn't they make you the person you are?

would you change it if you could?

You shook me so roughly
only to wake me from
the fantasy I taught myself to believe;
the lies I built around me,
and positivity I trained my mind to perceive.

And now that I have awaken to reality
I must say..
Boy do I miss that slumber.

'He spoke about his scars with uncertainty'
I looked at them with admiration

'He said
He had
Cigarettes
Put out
On his back'

Oh how many tears
have been stuck in your lacrimal sac?
and how many infarcts
are in your lungs?

How many cells of yours
are apoptotic?

And how tired
is your heart
from pumping
blood
to your scars,
in hopes
that there would be tissue to feed
and skin to color...?

...in hopes
that in some way
you have gotten back
to normal?


little does your heart know
you're better than normal
you're special
you're delightful,

"I love you"

To dearest,
I hope you can view me more clearly after this poem:

2 pm                 7/14/1788
I am lying down wondering why you are not replying
I wrote you a letter worth crying

3 pm                 7/15/1788
I heard your voice
In nothing but noise

4 pm                7/16/1788
I remembered what you said--

5 pm                 7/17/1788
I prayed for us to be wed

6 pm                 7/18/1788
I got tired of waiting

7 pm                  7/19/1788
I heard-- I cried

8 pm                  7/20/1788
You died.

As  I read your poems,
all I could think of
is ...
Genius.

But that scares me sometimes.
Am I in love with you?
or am I just in love with your poetry?

But then I remember...
we are
what we write.

The lights no longer dim
The weeks no longer long
They built a building
That blocked our view

I still try to remember
What it looked like before you

On the days
You hurt me
I chose to forgive you

I still know
That was the best thing to do

When I was afraid of change
My mind would trick me
Into submission
By forgetting
My favorite quote

Come what shall,
I am ready

My heart was still learning how to walk again
But somehow, you taught it how to skip

You can't travel between
the lines of the book
or the clouds of the sky

Put your feet on the path
that leads you where you want to go
and dear, don't land, you have to fly

I don't write to drag you within my deepest miseries
I write...
to drag myself out

The day
you were born
was the day
I started **living

Before you call something your home
Make sure you are welcome

I learned that the hard way

Not everything
that feels like home,
truly is.

They call them baby steps

I'd like to think its because
babies walk slowly and unsteadily
often fall, quit, and crawl instead
and on most days,
they walk one step forward
and two steps back

Repeating
the same mistakes.

Everyday
feels I'm speeding
on a roundabout

Physics might disagree,
but I think if I speed enough,
I can crash into my past self;
stop her from ever starting
this vicious cycle.

I wonder
why it all started

what made me ride a ferris wheel
when I was afraid of heights?

was it the idea
of a view?
missing out on something I never knew?

The first time,
height was just a dimension
I felt limitless;
I discovered a new invention.

The view wasn't green grass,
or blue skies
it was a dark beard
and blue eyes

I thought to myself
"I never want this to stop"
so I got into my car
and tied my hands
to the wheel

he sat in the passenger's seat,
smirking at my addiction.
I thought his smiling,
was a happiness depiction.

with time
it started feeling consuming,
the fear of crashing;

I wasn't afraid of dying,
I was afraid of killing
the only person
who made me feel alive

.
.
.

Today,
I'm in a speeding car
driving in circles

In the passenger's seat,
is a bag of *****
and he's nowhere to be seen

I am still not afraid of dying,
but I choose to live

I am witnessing a lack of creativity
Dragging me through the cracks of eternity
I see a bright light shining through the cracks
Is it hope, or the freedom from hope?
Or is it just the sun creeping through the curtain slit?

No, it's only the sun reflecting on my eyes
as I am dreaming of what is not true
because without creativity,
we won't have this kind of brilliant poetry

This life is finite
like a passing by train
comes and leaves.
This life is a moment in the spotlight
it will last forever, she once believed
but this life is a kid's kite
if you get lucky, you get to fly it right.
This life is a girl in a lost boy's sight
unpredictable, scary, or maybe a guiding light.
Because this life is whatever we perceive.

love
                                                      _­___

                                                ­      is
                  _____

                                                    hard

     ­                                       _____

And maybe excuses
aren't bad afterall

for some regrets
are too heavy
to carry

Fallen arches
sound so poetic,
but they only mean
flat feet

I took my flat feet
to a battlefield
We watched
the people cheer
for the pain of others
Faked their way
Through syllables and
Eye wrinkles

They call them crow's feet
Too good a name for them
I call them
Cat scratch disease

I took my flat feet to a battlefield
they dug their way into the cement

my fallen arches
found a ground to stand on
they fell
So I won't
Fall

My mother
loves remembering dates

She counts how old I am
in days and tells me
that she loves me

In moments like this
regression feels like
the only way out

As a new child is born
an older sibling
will start wetting the bed again
Trying... hoping.. to go back


He left me
On February 17th

When people ask
how many years its been
I'd like to answer them in seconds

Sometimes
I write February 17th on November
I don't do it on purpose

I really...
don't think
I've lived
A second without you

It fills your ears

I thought it was for motivation

but now I know,
it's to cover the sighs

and subtle cries.

The pounding hearts,

and accidental treadmill farts

Sweat drips,

and constant water sips.

Yeah it's for motivation.

But what if the sounds we're supposed to hate,

motivate.

You're stuck between a rock and a hard place
Your heart is so broken, that it barely left a recognizable trace

You're sharing meaningless stares with strangers
You're pondering straight through future dangers

You're so exhausted, that your legs have forgotten the feeling
of being stretched in bed, while you're staring at the ceiling

At that moment- you understand why
the call it: the art of getting by

You used to see things as black and white, until I came along; you saw grey for the first time
I was everything you needed, but nothing you thought you wanted

The ground has been shaking beneath my feet
and I've been patient

the ground is gonna shake
until I fall and break my bones
and I'll be patient

and when all my bones are broken
all my dreams have fallen
and all my might has disappeared

I'll teach myself to be patient
about being patient

.
.
.
.
.
.
The challenge I created. Check it out #bookpoemchallenge

Burn your tongue
if it tries to speak my name
and crack your skull
when your brain thinks of me

Pain wakes you up
and you need that, honey

For why would any man
not diving in deep sleep
be in love with me?

words are just letters
imagine that
26 letters and millions of words

patterns are everywhere

all we see are patterns of different things in different people

so how can I
not see the world in you?

Don't be afraid
of admitting mistakes
like running on top
a bridge that might break

don't deny your conscious
the possibility of change
some days after you've ignored its voice
you will hear its faint whispers

I promise you,
its never too late to change

Don't underestimate the power
of apologies

I find it fascinating
how one word
can change a person
and his entire world

she asked her mother
"why,
does the sun set?
why,
do the lights go out?
why,
do the doors close?
and why
do people leave?"
well child,
with every sunset, comes a break of dawn.
and dark rooms is where we dream till the sun comes out.
and with every closed door, a new door awaits to be opened.
and people come and go, but we can choose to keep them within.
as for me, i will be here, right here, till the end.

With every deep wound
comes the gushing blood
; and with every drop of blood,
comes the ink for your poetry

When you set the bird free,
how did she know where to go?

was she waiting for this moment?
counting seconds patiently near the cage door?

was she longing for someplace?
for someone else?

I saw the bird you set free
know exactly where to go

So confidently,
she flew across the balcony
and headed east

And I wondered
if you ever set me free,
would I know where to go?

You told me you loved beautiful things
And it hit me hard in the back of my brain

Pieces of advice
Consist of memories shadowed by perception

I could be wrong at any time I think I'm right
But the blood in my veins swears that my brain is telling the truth

And the aches cannot be described
I try to call them by your name because I also don't know what to say

There are the passing fleeting thoughts that you never remember
And then there are the ones that you are holding on to because you think they
Define you
They do not define you

So all the pictures you're afraid to burn?
Maybe you should just throw them away
Burning is too dramatic anyway
Just throw them in the trash
So calmly
Passively

You don't need someone to tell to you what you should do
But most days,
You need someone to remind you of what you want to do

Twirling in the living room
Of my childhood house
Fast.. faster

Suddenly I stop

But the Earth
never stopped rotating

I left my wrist watch
At home today

I don't need to be reminded
By the passage of time

My bones are osteoportic
And so are the walls of my life

Its only a matter of time
Before they start breaking

And I really
Really
Need a break

Don't waste your time.

For, If you don't understand my complexity
in a matter of seconds
you will not in ages.

The high notes
in your voice,
as you cry
during goodbyes

Those shrieks,
so muffled,
like prayers
of the opressed

Your grip
loses its tone
with age

But sometimes
you mustn't
let go

Shed your skin.
Stop carrying it around
on your back,
trying to remind yourself
of who you once were

Regenerating skin cells
are living proof
that the past can be
gone and forgotten

I can't believe this was me
I can't believe this is me

How
HOW

I have bones and a beating heart
a forgetful brain
and a new start

I don't remember this
It hurts me
I am crying
I am sad

Stop the pain
Substance P


WHY
why

When was that

I know when it was
in my heart

start
start
start


don't
go





please
thank you


I'm sorry
I am so sorry
I am so incredibly sorry

I have always been against hate

and believed in one love

until I realized

that I actually hate your freaking guts

I still get nightmares
... or shall I call them dreams
of things
I could've done better

and whenever I open my eyes
I feel the regret and misery
destroying what's left of me
...

I'm sorry, old me.

They say that a girl's biggest lie is "I'm fine",
but I don't care what they say.
I'm fine.

But compromise, felt a lot like human sacrifice
I lost myself
To be with you

I wallowed in the mud for too long
now I'm knees deep in quicksand

"lie on your back," they say
I've been lying here for ages

whatever I do feels like unlocking
only one of endless cages

sometimes I wonder
if everyone struggles the same
or did I put myself in the cages?
am I the one to blame?

infinity minus one?
is infinity just the same

Carve the cement
with your brittle nails

home is the indents
in your skin,
and the creases
around your eyes
It's the curvature
of your skull
and the veins
in your feet

You keep searching
for a heartbeat
in the crowd,
hoping you'll some day
call it home

But dear,
I remind you
of what I often
have to
remind myself


Home is where your heart is

Please talk to me-
tell me

Is it going to be okay?
Are we going to be okay?