And as you held your bags
preparing to leave,

I felt pain

the kind of pain you feel
when a terrible bruise starts to fade away
when you know the worst has passed

don't you get it?
you were my bruise

and despite the pain I felt
I am truly glad you left

What they call you, when you refuse to conform to society.

I told you I love winter,
and you thought that will change
when the cold numbs my feet
but it didn't

I told you I love vacations
and you thought that will change
when long vacations leave me unproductive
but it didn't

I told you I love you
and you thought that will change
when you break my heart
but it didn't

Loving you was like loving winter
a constant in my equation

and although I was never really great at math
I learned how to make a system of two equations

you are not a constant in my life's equation

**but you are a constant in my heart's equation

You used to see things as black and white, until I came along; you saw grey for the first time
I was everything you needed, but nothing you thought you wanted

I still get nightmares
... or shall I call them dreams
of things
I could've done better

and whenever I open my eyes
I feel the regret and misery
destroying what's left of me
...

I'm sorry, old me.

We called ourselves the heroes of tomorrow,
not knowing we were living our today-s
in all the wrong ways

my dear
its fear

don't let it near
don't let it here

my dear
its fear

hide this tear
fake a cheer

"but dear,
fear is always here
every day, all year
whats the point of staying clear
if you cannot steer"

fear lies in your heart and mind
there's no point in denying its mere existence
because you can't control it unless it controls you first