The streets were filled with people;
Hustling, jostling, synchronised
scooting like a school of fish
humming excitedly, civilised.

A sudden surge of noise,
cacophonous shouts
Water Of Life springs forth
amidst the fractious routs.

I see the crown of his head;
He is loveliness and light,
and though I try to get to him,
I stumble and fall amidst the fight.

And I, a grain on the threshing floor
am trampled under foot
these years of pain and suffering
have not made me splinter-proof, but

I know that He can save me,
heal my body, mind and soul
I reach to touch the hem of His garment
and instantly I am whole.

He stops and asks “who touched my clothing?”
My entire being begins to shake,
with empty legs I kneel before Him,
I confess that my thirst, He slake.

His eyes burned into mine,
filled with love I have never known before
and with one breath He blew the chaf
and gathered me from the threshing floor.

You reached out your hand
I gave you an onion set -
Grubby and crisp,
torn from the land.
You cradled it in your arms and
though it’s layers stung, sang a quiet lament.
Gnarled and wild, its roots tangled,
mining salt, a sweeter scent.

Dirt smeared your palms
but you held tight, singing psalms
planting it in God’s rich earth,
patiently guiding it skyward when it slid back-
And it slid so often its sprouts screamed
as the maggots came forth, split at the seams.

Some days you came with parsley
Others with meaningful song -
Teaching green shoots to dance in the wind,
bask in the Son, trust in the Father, stay strong.
Praying the roots to anchor in tight
Chasing out darkness with glorious light.

I reached out my hand
She gave me an onion set -
grubby and crisp,
torn from the land.
I cradled it in my arms and
knew just what to do -
heart fixed on the Lord,
I whispered “Jesus loves you”.

Before my sin caused my suffering -
You built me a church;
Surrounded me with praying sisters
and gave me Your Word.
El Roi - mercy beyond mercy;
The goodness of my God.

Before madness engulfed me
You called me back to Your arms,
taught my heart a new rhythm
and my soul a new song.
El Shaddai - love beyond measure;
the goodness of my God.

Before I walked a step onto a ward,
You recycled my past;
Built with it understanding and hope,
turned darkness to light.
Jehovah Jireh - nothing is wasted with You;
the unfathomable goodness of my God.

For every pain - a comfort O Father.
For every joy - all thanks to Adonai.
I will follow You praising every day Jehovah Raah.
My every breath is for you Yahweh.

I part my lips to speak to find my mouth a desert place.
My parched palette, rough upon my tongue;
numb - struck dumb
by a depth and breadth beyond words.

But You, O Lord
You know my every thought.
You hear the hurt beat out at my heart.
You feel all I feel, but deeper still.

My God, who holds a jar of my tears;
a myriad of moments,
yet You can match dop for drop,
whilst keeping the whole world turning in the palm of your hand.

On my knees I come;
willing myself to be still.
I need only be still.
Still You hear my soul speak.

This poem casts a line from insomnia to morning
On the wind of a prayer that whatever bites, holds on.

See I have counted eleven score and ten,
with rainbow like curves of my neck -
contemptuous beasts leaping in formation
each bleating out a preach of vague platitudes;
A narrative for the night sky.

My hands clamour at keys for escape
until I tumble headfirst into a web so vast
it has ensnared the whole world wide -
millennials are living in-ter-net over in-the-world;
a new ultraviolence against humanity.

I beat my words into the screen until it breaks;
shattering scarlet emoticons like confetti
pouring over language as if it were a compliment.
My mind massages shapeless polypous thoughts
like tight constricted muscles aching for release.

3am casts these philosophies into horses,
whipping them into shape and speed
before the eyes of this statuesque ******.
This anxious wakefulness begs my manic self to dance;
suggestively ******* tickets to ride like cleavage.

Sleep is fast becoming a neglected former engagement;
as my mind trips over fallen heroes
wades through my favourite mistakes
in a wonderland unfolding faster than I can fall
while the world beyond my window remains dark.