these words spread out,
in letters left but not forgotten
on screens that light up lonely rooms

praying silently
that you will read a deeper meaning
confessions and obsessions
longing for recognition

but in the end
it's more than that

it's thirsting for
enigmatic connection
lusting after
someone
anyone
to unravel

and in turn
to unravel me

someone who won't believe me
when I'm lying to myself
someone who will disentangle
the shadowed shambles
that haunt my bones

I pine for
a soul
to comprehend the corners of my mind
to memorize the knots along my spine

in the end
I cannot fathom
why any soul would try

Laugh Your Sorrows Off

I'm drowning in the sea of shattered dreams
I'm stuck in the jungle of darkness
I'm left alone in the valley of fear
I'm climbing up the mountain of insecurities
I'm walking under a cloud of doubts
I'm leaving behind a trail of disappointments
I'm breathing in the air of frustration
I'm staring at the sky of mistakes
I'm marooned in a storm of sorrows
I'm lost in a *world of travesties

I Have My **** Ups
I Have My Flaws
I've Cried For Many Things
I'm Not Gonna Cry For You

I just wanted to write a poem
And have it disappear into infinity
Not looking for validity
That it was only loved by me.

Just when you really love someone
You hold the words close
Like a firefly in you hands
Because if you open them to show someone
It could fly away into the clouds.

But now my room is overflowing
With things longing to escape
But I lock the door
Because I know once they leave
I’ll forget what they looked like.

I went looking for God
but I found you instead.
Bad luck or destiny,
you decide.

Buried in the muck,
the soot of the city,
sorrow for an appetite,
devil on your left shoulder,
angel on your right.

You, with your thorny rhythms
and tragic, midnight melodies.

My heart never tried
to commit suicide before.