"I'm so OCD"
OCD isn't a joke.
Washing your hands over and over again until your skin is raw isn't a joke.
Doing things that your brain tells you to do, regardless of what, isn't funny.
Not having control is not a joke.

"You look so anorexic."
Eating disorders are not a joke.
Refusing to eat until it kills you isn't a joke.
Throwing up over and over again to get a body that you will never be happy with isn't funny.
Being control by the one thing that makes you feel like you have control isn't a joke.

"That made me so depressed."
Chemical imbalances in the brain isn't a joke.
Wanting to do nothing all the time isn't funny.
Wanting to die all the time isn't a joke.

Stop making jokes about things you don't understand.

And if you are dealing with any eating or mental disorder, I am so proud of you for still being here and staying strong. I know how hard recovery is. You will overcome it.

How long ago
Did you list your priorities?

The small ones,
Like me.
Forgotten at the bottom of the list.

I do understand.
I am only a reflection,
Without purpose,
******* the attention of those around me,
The ones that worry about
Insignificant things.

And stop lying.

You have let go of me,
You haven't let go of the words
Or past.

But of course you let go,
You could barely hold on to
Your own sanity.

I can only hold myself accountable to the crushing feeling I have now.

Open the eyes of my heart
for I want to see You.
I hear Your call at night
in the existence of the moonlight
You said, “I’ve laid foundations in the ocean depths, sail your soul on the deep waters beneath the earth.”
I recalled as a formidable king
to vibrate my heart in meditation,
to elevate in the light energy’s radiation,
to thrive, to rise, to survive,
to inhale and exhale your reviving spirit.

Upon opening my eyes
I awake to nothing
It is the benchmark of my days
Spent in furious labour
Or idling in empty hours
The result is always
Nothing
To love and tend in furious passion
To sicken and hate shamelessly
It still remains as nothing
Each whispered cause
Each luminous belief
Is nothing
Without meaning or reward
As each day fades
I close my eyes
To nothing.

Existence is cautious under the moonlight
how I embrace its essence
as its energy is to enhance spells and projects
and re-define divination in the earth’s objects
I feel safe in its presence.
Though I walk in deep shades of darkness
as my shadow departs me
thick skin is embodied
all forms of fear get cold
as I breathe them out.