It's funny;
how the fires of desire can
make you do terrible things,
how one sweet kiss can cause
a war inside someone.
I never meant for this to happen
but you let it happen.
I'm not one for trust
but I chose to let you in;
I should have known you'd
drop my heart with your indecisive hands.
I know it wasn't right
to love someone who belonged
to somebody else,
but in the heat of the moment
I lost my mind.
In the heat of my love,
I lost myself.
How could I possibly
think about her
when I had your tongue in my mouth?
How could I possibly
think about her
when you are all I think about?
I know I played a part
in breaking her heart
but you broke mine all on your own.
I keep hearing 'sorry' roll off
your sweet tongue,
keep hearing broken apologies in
your voice;
I just need you to know
your pretty words do not
stitch me back up.
And darling, I wish I could forgive you.
I wish 'sorry' could fix my heart
as easily as it fixed hers.
But 'sorry' falls on deaf ears
when you've heard it all before.
And I've heard it all before.

I've lost sight of something....
Love is always good...
We decide how we love...
I need to love you differently...
I can love you forever....
I have to change the way that I love you..
Without this change I will fall to pieces....
I'm not a damsel in distress...
I've never needed you to save me...
In fact I've never needed you for anything...
I've wanted you from the start...
I've wanted more and gotten less ,yet still I've stayed...
I'm stronger than that...
I can love you in a different way...
as years pass and our relationship has changed...I've never loved you less...
Apparently I'm not good at that...
However I can love you differently....
Because love is always beautiful...
Love isn't always the same...

E.J.M.

thanks for enlightening me#JeffreyRobin

You have the cutest feet I've ever seen...
Such perfect beautiful feet..
And I forgot...
Some things I rarely see of you. ..
Another perfect part of you...
Such perfect feet...

E.J.M.

I wish I loved you less.
That you weren't burned in my heart....
You are the only thing I can't say no to..
I'm drowning here in us...
I felt fear today...
Intense fear, heart pounding flight inducing fear...
If I'd loved you less it wouldn't have been felt. .. but then again I wouldn't have been there...
And maybe I can't live like this...
Then I remembered living without you....
And my heart clenches...
I need to learn to love you less...
Before I lose myself. ..

E.J.M.

you didn’t like the way i answered the phone,
and you thought it was gross that i liked mushrooms on my pizza,
and you told me i was weird-looking when i was a kid,
and once i sent you a tattoo and you said you didn’t like it, you didn’t know they were my words that were written on her body
you told me what “too much damage” meant on halloween after all the trick-or-treaters had fallen asleep
and when i kept silent for three days after,
and winced at every kissing scene on television, because they flooded the insides of my eyelids with images that made me feel very small,
you said i was being unfair
because i was the one who decided we were just friends,
and i told you we weren’t, you knew we weren’t
we couldn’t be after what we used to be

i told you i still had feelings that hadn’t gone away yet,
you said they hadn’t gone away for you either

i pictured you holding my hand

but then you said,
“that’s why it’s easier to run from them
and hide in other girls beds.”

you always told me every thought
that popped into your head, and i used to find it endearing,
i kept telling myself that you deserved my ear,
but i really hope you have nothing more to say
because, i promise, i’m done listening

so clear off your bedside table, and cut the
blue string that’s wrapped around your wrist if you’ve yet to do so,
and stop asking me if i miss you,
because this is me saying
i don’t.

It’s been three and a half months since we last spoke,
really spoke, not just guilty hellos
and scattered half-hearted pleas
And it’s not you, it’s never you
it’s me it’s me it’s me,
but you love
me
you love
me
you love
me

And my head has forgotten what it feels like,
but I know my heart is safe with you

Because you’ve never stopped chasing after me
and I’m tired of looking at my feet, telling myself
I’ll be okay without you, trying to navigate
through a thick forest at night,
pretending I don’t have matches at
my fingertips

You are the only thing
that has ever made me feel truly whole

I’m sorry I’ve kept my eyes shut so tight,
but I’m here now and I love you and I miss you

And I don’t want to keep living
like fragments of a person anymore

I’m Yours.

it’s so frustrating because i know you wanted to be with me, on those days you drove almost an hour each way to see me and you kissed me so often and held me so tight and always pulled me closer and i could feel your eyes on me when i wasn’t looking, and we spent day after day like this, just being together and pretending that time could stand still, but at the same time, i feel like it was all just something for you to do while you were home, even though you deny it. i remember starting to tear up one afternoon with my head on your chest while you slept, because i knew it was just a matter of time till this was just a memory. i can’t picture you actually missing me, i can’t imagine you actually wishing i hadn’t said i was done with grey and in between. i feel like i’m so insignificant to you. like you have no feelings, like you couldn’t care less, this is just life, people come and go. and i know that, i know this is just life, and that people come and go, but it hurts that it’d never cross your mind to ask me to stay, that i was fun while i lasted, that you never wanted to make me yours. i’ll fade soon. i want to matter more to you. you’re a thinker, i’m a feeler, you hate that i’m so black and white. but i’m selfish and i want 3am texts that you can’t stop thinking about me and that you need to see me again soon. but that’s not who you are. and it’s unfair of me to want you to feel that way when you don’t. and it’s really okay, because if i extended my hand to you and you took it, i don’t think we would’ve gotten very far anyway. i loved being so close to you, but i’m excited to hold someone’s hand who doesn’t want to let go, to kiss someone who wants to kiss me forever, to not be anticipating an inevitable end, to be able to trust someone fully with my heart, to have someone that wants to hold it. and i don’t need that, i don’t need someone, i don’t need anyone. but if one day it’s what’s meant to be, i’ll let it be. i don’t want to be careless with my heart again. i don’t know why things happen the way they do, and i don’t regret you for a second, and i still think the world of you, but i’m too emotional and i fall too deep to give that much of myself again to someone who never asked for any of it in the first place.