As the sun emerges from the horizon...
I think of you..
I drink my coffee and smoke my cigarettes...
watching the orange glow in the sky..
wondering where you are...
I know we see the same pinkish tangerine indigo glory...
I know you are working..
We share this dawn together but apart...
so very apart...
The colors bleed in amazing contrast
The days begun for me in startling brutality...
Your days almost over...
I think of you in these quiet dawning moments...
you creep in upon my thoughts and are held there....
I could sit and think of you for hours...
The colors fade from cerulean to sky...
every now and then..... I give in...
and contemplate the whys.....

E.J.M.

hurt....
I'm still hurt, tho I hide it well...
I miss how we used to be...
The good morning beautifuls...
the 3 am wake up texts...
The constant connection...
You blamed me in this...
You put the failure of us, on me....
The weight of that blame when I know its a lie to save face...still hurts
You never loved me enough...
You knew that you'd never stay...
In the end.. I took that blame
Knowing it for what it is...
You knew I'd adore you anyway so you took that chance...
I still hurt when I think of those words...
They echo often in my head..
I can look at you and smile... the hurt won't show
I can love you and take that pain of knowing where we stand..
I was never enough for you...
But I am so much more
I smile and kiss your mouth despite this...
I just wanted you to know that it hurts...
That you burned me well this time around..
in your goal to be adored....

E.J.M.

I dreamed of you last night
I had to call you...
Which is something I would never do..
There was an urgency about it...
In this dream, I had to talk to you...
So I broke the unspoken rules...
And she answered the phone.
We exchanged sarcastic pleasantries. ..
Both knowing the other...
What we both are..
I asked her to tell you I'd called..
Knowing she wouldn't. ..
I awoke unsettled....
Feeling like I need to speak to you...
Wishing I could call you like I do in my dreams
I won't call....


Maybe you will....

E.J.M.

In this world...
Filled with millions of people..
Vast mountains..
Oceans and deserts...
Of all the places and people. .
I can't help but think we were meant to find each other....
In this chaotic disarray. .
You Found me..
You stared at me from across the street and my whole world changed...
How fascinating to have found me repeatedly. ..
Of everyone I pass every day. ...
utter strangers....
Yet there you are time and again
Parts of you meant for my heart....
we were meant from the start...

E.J.M.

I don't need to see you everyday to love you...
I love you more than that .
I don't need to speak to you daily...
I can love you the way we are...
This isn't enough...
But it is
I love you deeply...
Deeper than the selfish need of having you here..
Love this giving is more than you and I

E.J.M.

your body is a canvas...
The most beautifully painted art...
You've tattooed meaningful beauty all over it..
The words across your chest intrigue me...
And how you grieve for Mary..
the blackest ink and shades of grey...
the Love on your ribcage..
the Metal on your leg...
the roses across ..and Jesus
The colors & details  ...
all the reasons that make you who you are...
I love to trace them with my fingers...
Love the way they look imprinted on your body...
You're so ****...

E.J.M

How do we continue this separated love affair?
the days go by...
week by week...
Month by month...
its been almost two years since we met on the side of the road...

We used to talk all the time incessantly....
Now we don't talk at all...
I cannot reach you...
If something happened to you... I would never know
I find it interesting the way that we are...
The way we exist..
The way we still love...

How can we be so separate yet come together so flawlessly?
How do you make me feel so beautiful?
the sound of your name makes my legs weak...

E.J.M.