Reading, writing, spelling, grammar
All components of language
Each part has there own challenges
One may be harder than the other
For some it’s second nature
It can be as natural as breathing
For others it’s difficult
As they are tying to breath
With one lung

The wind blows my strawberry-blond hair
And I think long and hard at where my ancestors came from
On a small ship that traveled a great length
When my mind is thinking
I think about all of the skills that I have mastered
The string going through one hands and the hook in the other
Waving in and out of each other

A pencil in mine hand gliding across the paper in front of me
Without any hesitation
I think again to realize this is the front that I put up on display for every one
It is what they see and learn about me
That surprises them
It’s a matter of asking the right questions
That will lead to what is unknown to them

Stealthy
Cruel
Indiscriminate
This disease attacks
The people who we care
The most
No one knows why
Where it came from
Or has a universal cure for it
All we can do is hope
Hope for the treatment works
Hope that they will be ok
Hope that you won’t lose your mind over this
Hope that you don’t lose hope
Even after the outcome
Is not what you hoped for in the end
That is all we can do
Is hope
Pray
And cherish
Every moment
Until the battle over

I am done
Hoping for you
So I must
Move on
For there is nothing
For me
I am done
Crying over you
So now I must
Be strong
And not shed
Anymore tears
Over you
I am done
With all of this pain
That you caused me
In time
My wounds will heal
And I will become
Whole again
And right now
I am done
With you

Look at me
What do you see
A Person, a Friend, an Enemy
An Athlete, a Geek, an Artist
Look at us
What do you see
White, Black, Asian, Indian
Does it make a differences
Who we are
Where we come form
Look around
What do you see
I see the future in the eyes of many
Standing before me
Look and see what I see
Here in front of me
As do you

Friends are the ones that you can count on,
They’re the ones that will watch your back.
Friends will accept you for who you are
Not how you look
-or how you act

Friends trust friends with
Embarrassing moments, hopes
and dreams.
Friends look up to each other,
Stand up for one another.
It’s impossible
To not have a friend
It seems

You can always trust your friends
If they are really true-
Thank your friends,
Even if you
Have a few

Emotions are like water
It's fluid as a stream
They can be intense
And out of control
Or passive
Locking up your emotions
Until a dame is high
Until it becomes too much
And the water overflows
Creating an avalanche
of destruction in its wake

I wish you knew
How you had affected me
When we were close
When we laughed
I wish you knew
All through the day
You are on my mind
I wish you knew
Over time my feeling
For you became stronger
So the urge to become
More then friends
I wish you knew
I gave you my body
Because I trusted you
I wish you knew
When I was able
To have enough
Courage to tell you
I wanted to give you
My heart
You rejected it
I wish you knew
I resist the urge
To call you
To text you
For I might just
Cry all over again
For the pain
Is overwhelming
To be near you
Is to much
I wish you knew

Your kindness
Compassion
And patients
Calms me
I feel safe and steady
In your arms
I am not worried
Of my past nor
What the future
May entail
But rather living
In the moment
With you
Healing in your
Steadfast heart

I am different
So are you
You can read
Better than I can
But I see
The world differently
Call me dumb
Call me stupid
But I know they are not true
For I am smarter than you
I might flip my letters
From time to time
Heck even my numbers to
But that is not my fault
It just happened
There is no easy way
To explain what I mean
Other then looking it up
But it’s even harder
To explain the challenges
That I have to face every day
Even for the rest of my life
You see me different
You see me strange
And call me names
I see you the same way
I find you odd
I find you mean
I also see you ignorant
For not taking the time
To appreciate me
Once you decide
To open your eyes
And see what I see
Only then will you
Understand me

Do you know I cry myself to sleep at night?
Wondering when will be the next time you’ll talk to me
I cry myself to sleep at night
When I see you’re on Facebook
But you wont talk to me for some reason
I cry myself to sleep sometimes
Wondering that you found someone else
And you would rather be with her
Because I can’t be there with you
I cry myself to sleep sometimes
Because I’m crazy in love with you
And you wont talk to me for weeks at a time
The only thing I can do right now
Is cry my self to sleep
Hoping one day you’ll see the pain I’m in,
The constant heartache I feel all the time.
All I can do is cry myself to sleep
Thinking about you and only you
Please tell me what you want me to do
Because all I can do is cry
Over you

Before I can forgive him
For the pain, trauma
violence, and manipulation
He had me endure
I must first forgive
Myself
For staying in an
Unhealthy situation
And not feel guilty
For leaving him behind
While I move forward
in my life

Abuse doesn't happen overnight
It slowly builds over time
Nothing is always black an white
Sometimes it starts in the gray
As a fluke

And then when it's too late
The obvious signs glaring in your face
As you are in disbelief
How did this happen
To me

A loss for words
Attempting to
Reclaiming your power
Only to be knocked down
Once more
Struggling to understand
When did it get so bad

Then finally
When you had enough
You make your escape
Only to look back
And recount the times
You ignored the
Warning signs
That seemed insignificant
Only to be the entry
Point needed to
Fall victim
for his abuse

hiding your face behind a mask
forcing a smile
pretending you're okay
It is painfully hard to live in a world
and show no emotion
Sometimes it's easier to pretend
put on that fake smile
and force it down your throat
deep down anxiety building up
depression overwhelming
pretending you are okay
when all you want to do is
let that mask down
Peek behind it
Letting that mask slip
even at the slightest
puts me in jeopardy
in my head,
I am screaming with anxiety
wanting to slip this mask off
to show the pain that I'm in
but deep down
I know this mask
is the only thing
preventing me from showing
the emotions that are bubbling over
who will care if you drop that mask
this mask puts everyone at arm's length
Where can I be with no judgment
where can I be with no mask
I do not feel I can be myself
without putting on the mask that
everyone is familiar with
Who associates this front
That feels disingenuous
A lie for sanity
That is destroying me
From the inside out

Everything was magical
And new
I felt I was the luckiest
Person alive
But slowly
The beautiful facade
That was painted with
Rose colored glasses
Began to chip away
One piece at a time
Slowly revealing the horror
I would endure
In an endless nightmare
As I held the broken fragments
That created your mask
Holding onto a memory of a
Fictional character
only to
never be
seen again
Bonded by trauma
Holding so tight
Suffocating in
My own misery
Unable to recognize myself
In the mirror
Knowing I need to break free
Of this nightmare
Of a life
I did not sign up for

My life was in shambles
I could barely
Think, breathe, or comprehend
How bad my life was becoming
How quickly I was losing myself
Reaching out to you
After so many long years
Was my saving grace
As you patiently
Guided me back
To reality
Giving me courage
To walk away from my abuser
And to start anew
with your
tender guidance
I have my life back
Because of you