"don't panic,"* i scream,
stumbling over my own
feet like how i often do when i'm
drunk.

don't go," i yell,
my voice hoarse against the pouring
rain like how it often is when i'm
crying.

but then i wake up, twisting my
hair between my fingers, drenched in
sweat from another all too realistic
dream.

it's an odd time to be an actress.
my role: human walking.
one foot in front of the other, but
it feels like i'm floating,
left above myself to watch
helplessly,

the tragedy that is someone else's life; except

it isn't someone else.

it's me.

Let me swim
Across oceans
Until I reach the edge
Of the World,
Where I can fall
Through the stars
And into
A Black Hole
Of Possibilities.
    
Let me come out
Of the other side
Knowing the things
I have seen
And the exhilaration
I felt
Are too real
To   brush off like dust.

Let me gravitate
Towards the Sun
With hope that
My impurities
Melt away like
Snow in the Spring
And I am reborn
Perfect.