Battered by strong winds,     stems bend with the storm.
This is a silence      deep roots know too well.

Stroke soft the curves
Of the forbidden servant,
Follow paths of the intention
And know not the rose touched
Is a petal in a cyclone:

**** the martyr
And feed the the dogs,
They serve a purpose beyond
Your grasp, under the foot
Of your heavy needs
And spiteful words.

Speak;
And the ***** do grasp,
They will not let the spirit free
When pain cannot be released
And the world would be great
If we could share beauty like
It shares its misery.

**** them softly with pretty works
And speak the réflection
Inward,
There you are,
You are what you say after you
Do the favor and the world
Is owed to you.

Oh pain.
Such glorious levels you reach
Within the ugliness of reflection,
How you see and how you feel
Is how you choke and how you
Hold,
Pain, all that can be remembered
Not in the moment,
But in a lifetime.

Days like this, I just need to be alone.
I am the chord that resonates within,
yet my music is tired and needs time
to breathe and build its strength again. I need
to have nobody to hear my wretched, desperate
song for one day, yet there is no time to
catch my breath and become strong. There is no
time to be tired. At the expense of myself,
I must look after others and my own life,
so I must continue onwards, despite
the blood seeping from my wounds of exhaustion.
Days like this, I need to pretend to be
social so I can try and fulfill the
expectations of everyone and everything
surrounding me, except it is all for nothing.
Alone, I am not good enough.
In company, I am not good enough.
That word destroys me: "Anti-social", for
it is no fault of mine that I find solace
when the door closes, the whine of tinnitus
bites into my skull and I am left in absolute silence.

The one I lost
Not long ago,
Whose eyes were burdened
Like heavy snow,
Whose heart was closed
And rigid,
Spiked,
Who could not seem
To sleep at night,
His pain-filled eyes
Would smile and grin
And so no one saw
The true pain he was in.
I tried to reach out,
But his ice froze my hand,
Biting right through me
Till I could no longer stand.

Bright lights are deafening
And sounds cloud my vision.
Voices are magnified and
Spaces are enclosing as I
Gasp for breath, as I
Muffle small cries.
Faces. So many faces
Blurring together and I
Grab at the air, begging it
To quit it's fighting with
My stubborn lungs.
It's incredible.
All this noise, all these screams,
And I haven't moved an inch.