They say to love something is to suffer for it
Well, I'm pretty sure I loved you because, I can't even remember the good times we had anymore
All I look back and see is the FOOLISH girl waiting on the borderline, praying, hoping, pleading for your return
I stood there even when I was well aware of her presence
When I was well aware of where you were when you weren't with me... And couldn't be bothered to answer your phone
I laid by the borderline and cried endless tears night after night
Awaiting a return that deep down I knew was NEVER coming
So I have suffered
But, I don't have you
So what did I suffer for exactly?
To watch you build a life with her? The life I thought we had?
To be strung along for months before getting cut off completely
Just left standing in the dust of who I THOUGHT you were
The suffering didn't stop when the truth hit
Or when my head kept telling my heart to give it up
I wanted so desperately not to want you
Not to need you
But thoughts of you.. Of us..
Just consumed my head.. My heart..My life
It eventually got better
I started meaning the goodbyes that I'd been saying for so long
You appeared less and less in my mind
It seemed the suffering was coming to an end
Though I gained NOTHING from it
I know I never crossed your mind even close to how many times I caught myself daydreaming over you
Did you even give a second glance to the girl who literally was holding her heart in her hands... Offering it all to you?
Do memories of any kind ever flood your mind?
NEVERMIND
If I start to go there, the suffering just starts all over again
And I'm lost in a past love, a past game, a past heartbreak that I can no longer feel
Or I will drown inside my sorrow
So tell me, how much more suffering would I have to do to have you?
How much more suffering do I have to do to be OVER you???
Cause she hasn't felt nearly the amount of hurt that I have
Yet she has you...
And here I am, STILL writing about you
Still SUFFERING...
For nothing
For absolutely nothing

Wake up sing your lullabies
Hold your tears girl
Please don't  cry
A painted maid lives in your head
You're not blind, no you're not dead
So take my hand and follow me
We'll find a place where the grass is green
Someday soon you will see
Just how much you mean to me

Sunsets fall on empty stars
Someday soon you'll travel far
And turn this sky into the sea
Upside down, walking under me
One day soon you will see
How to make your paintings bleed
Cause faded paintings aren't the same
Are you still feeling sane?

It kind of *****.
Sitting here…alone.
I feel like
wasted space.
Why am i even here?

Im just invading your air.
infecting it.
Im sorry.

But why did you invite me here?
Just to be nice i suppose.
The thing is you don't have to be nice to me.
im a ghost.

That's like telling the sky that it's blue.
It's a well known fact that doesn't need to be said aloud.
I came to terms with it long ago,
you should do the same.

Yet here we are,
I don't know if you're saying it because you're only just realizing it,
or if you're saying it to hurt me,
to disarm me,
to make me more vulnerable than I already am.

You're the one who chose to love the crazy girl.
I never chose to be crazy,
it is just something that happened-
I'm pretty sure it's genetic-
it's the way I am.

Love me for my crazy ways,
or not at all.
You know I'll be waiting for your answer,
I'm crazy,
after all.