Am I the only one that has their demons feasting upon their souls?
They say it is easy to tie a noose around your mind,
To overcome the urges and temptations of ending your life with a suicide
They don't know the true pain and torment that is going on in my head
An epic battle that leaves me with restless nights in bed
"End your life already" they say, as they prey on me during my weakest hours
Sometimes I give into the voices, carrying the sharp blade to my wrist
Crying as I struggle to mutter three powerful words that keeps me going
Choking on my sobs, my lungs deflate with a desire to say that God loves me
I try to convince myself that God is trying to test my faith
And to just wait, wait and wait
Then my Demons will eventually go AWAY.....



~Imperfect Desire **

You chew me up
And spit me out
I'll come back with
A different flavor

I can fool anyone with the line "I'm fine" because no one cares to find the truth that lies behind,
I'm haunted with words in my mind that no one will hear because I'm the only one subscribed,
I'm alone in my own darkness that I've created with a spine twisted by a past that wasn't even mine,
I was told to be brave, to be strong, to be kind,
to live a life that was unreal because there's unlimited time,
but now the voices in my head
they're telling me to stop
they're warning me you were wrong and I should just give up.
I tell myself "I'm fine." but other problems arise
and the truth gets barricaded with bars of disguise--


I'm fine.

It's Christmas day
Everyone's smiling
Everyone's fake.
Joy is lacking,
Emptiness is raging,
and no one cares
about anyone,
just everyTHING.
Why have we gotten
So superficial?
What has come
To the world,
That we should behave,
In such a way?
You get everything on your list.
It's still not enough.
You should be content,
But your fake smile
Is the closest thing
To happiness you know.
Your family is together,
But that may truly be
A bad thing.
Because, suddenly,
No one is themselves,
And you're all transforming
Into little Barbie dolls.
This Christmas,
Just like all of the last,
You ask yourself,
Why isn't it enough?
Well, I'll tell you why.
You're focusing on the wrong,
And not the right,
The bad,
Rather than the good,
Santa,
Rather than Jesus.