The beautiful lie
Between you and I
I pushed you away
If only you could stay
You'll see me as more
Than your daily eyesore
The disgusting truth
Between me and you
I was afraid of you
Afraid of what you could do
Now it's ugly sad and worthless
Just leave me alone
I wish I was someone else

Your breath stained my skin
Your fingertips became a continuation of my spine
Your eyes told a story that your mouth denied
A bittersweet love song
I melted in the lyrics

I looked for your horizon today
In the shower I washed in your energy
In my coffee I craved your taste
Wrapping myself in your melody
Hovering in a state of denial

I saw your smile in a field of purple henbit
I heard your whispers in the air
On the wind I floated
My hair tangled
Searching for you in the shades of cascading sun

The hum of your heart beat echoes
Like the tread of my tires pounding on the pavement
You carry me to freedom
Like the image in my rearview and the miles ahead
An adventure that needs no map
I'd follow you anywhere

Tonight I'll wrap myself in a memory
Goosebumps linger on my skin
A craving that will have to wait
Until then

Some last spams
from those muscles
I haven't used in a while,
makes me feel alive.

My heart,
naive,
believes it can still love
like it used to.
It is just that ****
muscle memory.

Your words hit me.
Hurt me.
But no longer
pierce me.
Short range
now they are.

My denatured  enzymes,
possessed by salt,
just want to drown.

Anything that stops
the aftershocks in my body
that follow the earthquake
our love once was.

Hell is this house.

Your phone calls
dropping at 4 am
like bomb blasts.

Your perfume,
like a refugee,
living between
my messy
bed sheets.

Your stuff,
strategically forgotten,
in every **** corner.

Each room a minefield.
Each drawer a thread.

I finally finish packing up the last boxes.
Load them in my car.
Close the front door.
Turn the engine on.
Leave.
See you waving from the rear-view mirror.

To heal
is to create

To heal is to create a
new and improved version
of what was left in a pile of
shattered emotions

To heal is to break free
from the chains
that held you back
for so long

To heal is to learn
how to breathe again

To heal is to
feel alive
and to start anew

To heal is to become
a masterpiece;
a mosaic of pain and heartache,
reimagined into the most beautiful
thing to have ever existed

we know
     we will die one day
but we don't believe it

Who knows all the right answers
Though intelligent may be...
Who knows all the right questions
So much wiser are truly.

The deepest wounds leave scars that never go
Perhaps so that we and others may know
That all our pain and suffering is real
And becomes a part of us as we heal.
Tho' often 'tis the deepest wound by far
Which hurts most yet leaves no visible scar.