Tick.
Keep time.
Tick.
No change.

Tick.
Tick.
Tick.
Tick.

Slowly this sound will
Drive me insane I know
But for now, I will keep time.
And nothing here will change.

Nothing.
Except for me.

Tick.
Tick.
Tick.

I have secrets that I’ve never told hidden in my words.
They are broken and fractured, but they have been kept.
None of them belong to me, for I do not keep my secrets.
They belong to the universe, to the world, to the ones I love.

And if you would like to know, I could share them with you.
All I ask is that you take the time to make me feel alive.

With all its harmonies
And dissonance it plays on,
Never ceasing, never yielding.

One can close his eyes against it
And feel its force, strong and uncompromised.
The sound swells and builds and grows,
Moving mountains, bringing cities to their knees.
It is a scream, echoed in the voices of the people.

With all its harmonies
And dissonance it plays on,
Never ceasing, never yielding.

And then, this incomparable force gives way
To the most frightening sound of all:
Silence.

It all fades away
And all that’s left

Is silence.

There's no use searching your own mind, dear.
You'll be disappointed at what you might find.
All your insecurities and bad memories are there.
You'll revisit all that you tried to leave behind.

And I know that you think that you're terribly mad
But I'll tell you that there is something I find:
All the best people are terribly, horribly mad.
The most haunted have the most beautiful minds.

All she loved, she loved alone
With broken words upon her tongue.
Her hands beat firm against the walls,
Feeling insignificant but standing tall.

And all she loved, she loved in vain,
Dreaming of sunshine in the midst of rain,
Broken by his desertion, changed by his return
Paper and promises were both meant to burn.

Well, all she loved, she loved for him,
Picture of instability, gone on a whim.
Fires have started for less than this,
Mourning she cries for each sinful bliss.

Oh, all she loved, she never did,
Regretting the moment goodbye was bid.
Broken hearts are for the vulnerable and weak,
Tears for the childish, pessimism for the bleak.

All she’d loved, she’d loved alone,
Left so far away from home.
Don’t show weakness, always be strong.
It’s hard to love when you love alone.

*All I’ve loved I’ve loved alone.

Upon the taking of my last breath,
I ask that no tears be shed.
Instead, I request that there be laughter,
Laughter to fill rooms and shake shoulders.
I want there to be joy upon my departure,
Joy that may follow me wherever I go.

Do not tell them the truth.
Tell them I died valiantly,
Protecting the helpless and
Playing savior for the weak

Tell them I was fearless,
Completely unafraid and unfazed
By anything that was ever placed
Obstructively in my path.

Tell them that I danced in the rain
And that I never got sick, ever in my life,
That I wrote beautiful things and
Spoke wonderful words.
Do not tell them the truth.

Or better yet, please do.

Tell them I was broken and frightened,
Pretending to be strong always.
Tell them I was a dreamer and I never woke up.

Tell them of the music I loved.
Speak of the people I greatly adored.
Tell them I was twisted, psychotic, confused
And beautifully, boastfully, blissfully so.
Tell them how I laughed as often as possible.
Explain how I never cried in the presence of others.

Tell them how I cared for others and how
I never did understand human nature.
Tell them you could never know me
Without knowing my deepest secrets.
Tell them how few people really knew me.

Tell them they are beautiful and loved
Because that’s what I would say, if I could.
Tell them goodbye and wipe their tears.

Tell the truth of my gloriously insignificant life
But only to the ones who loved me most.

I am surrounded by beautiful people
Who possess such wonderful minds
And have such brilliant futures.

And looking around at them all, I see
They’re losing sleep and health and sanity.

And all I can do is wrap my arms around them,
Trying to encourage the most unbreakable pain away.
And I fear that one day it will become too hard.

I want to keep them happy
More than I have ever wanted
To try and save myself.