We barge through the doors and strip off our clothes in a rush.
You turn the **** and the sound of jungle rain falls from the faucet.
Your back is facing the water - I gaze as the water cascades down your body.
You gently smooth out little water droplets which stick in your hair.
Water falls perfectly to the shape of your body - perfectly outlining your muscular neck and broad shoulders.
Trickling from your chest down to define your perfectly chiseled abdomen, water continues to fall,
All the while you're looking down
; not paying attention to my analysis of the water and your body.
The sound of jungle rain grows quiet when you look up at me.
Your deep brown eyes gaze at me with desire and longing.
I stare back but am distracted by the outline of your ample lips -  
Lips filled with sensual intent -beckoned to be kissed.
Looking back into your eyes I know it's right.
Filling the space between us, our lips meet.
Gentle at first and rough there after.
Our lips unwavering while we make our way to the silk jungle.

Your bold green eyes with flakes of gold keep me hypnotized.
I can't do anything without worrying that one day your eyes will turn cold.
I cling to every word you say as if any of them will be the last ones I hear.
You've kept me like this for months now - I admire you, I do, but please.
Let me go.

I'm dangling by a thread over the life I had before I laid eyes on your freckled face.
Just let me go I plead, I can't keep doing this.
You give me that big smile showing your bright white teeth.
My heart melts at the sight and sinks because I know I will always be under your spell.

The day I realized just how much you love me,
was coincidentally the worst night I've had in a very long time.


Friday night - its the night where my family and I go out to a local restaurant/bar because
Its karaoke night and my family is hosting it as always.
The clock strikes eleven o'clock and all the kids have left to go sleep.
There are many people standing around the bar,
doing shots, talking, chatting, flirting, touching, kissing.

I sit by myself, watching every person closely.
Studying them, studying the way alcohol effects people, studying the man looking, flirting, wanting to touch, my mother.

She's had a few drinks.
She can hardly stand on her own.
Her husband having a few beers himself stands back,
oblivious to the man studying my mother's hourglass figure.
That's when I see it happen.

He looks at her chest and his hand reaches up.
In complete shock, I watch in horror at the events unfolding in front of my young eyes.
Glancing back at my step-father, he is no where to be found.
Helpless, I look away before I see too much.

A few minutes later she staggers to me,
"We're leaving," she takes me by the hand and walks outside.
She was clinging to her keys when reality struck.

"Mom give me the keys, I'll drive, I have a license. Please, give me the keys"
She refused and dragged me in the car.

After arriving home from the terrifying car ride,
I turned my computer on to video chat with you.
I wanted to tell you how terrified I was
and how much I needed you to console me.
At that moment, I heard her scream my name followed by,
"Please get me the trashcan."
I ran through my house, grabbing the trashcan, throwing it at her feet and running to my room before hearing the awful noises that followed.
Slamming my door shut I cover my ears,
trying hard to ignore the sounds of drinking too much,
and thats when I called you.

I don't know how you understood anything I said through sobs,
but as soon as you heard my desperate plea,
you sang to me:

You are my sunshine,
my only sunshine.
You make me happy when skies are grey.
You'll never know dear how much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.

I knew how much you hated singing - but you knew just what to do to help me through.
That was the moment I realized how much you love me,
and how much I love you too.

Less than 50 days now,
high school will be over.
My every day routine for the past 12 years,
will shatter and crumble in front of me.

Less than 50 days now,
my life will begin.

I've never felt this way about someone,
I look at you and I feel so many emotions,
depression, anger, hatred.

Every day, you tell me everything I do wrong,
"Drew we need to talk about what you're doing."
"Well good job you just ******* us over!"

Its the same thing every day I see you,
and frankly, I'm sick of it.

Get used to the fact that not everyone is perfect;
People make mistakes,
yes, I make more than most, but I'm done feeling like **** because of you.

So you know what?
*******.
I'm done.

If I wasn't afraid,
everyone would know my name.

I'm on a crowded sidewalk,
there's people walking fast around me.
Everything is a blur of motion.
The air is thick with cigarette smoke and factory pollution.
Contaminated air fill my lungs and I cough loudly.
No one seems to hear me choking on the air I'm breathing in.

After catching my breath I gaze at the environment around me.
Its busy,
there are good looking men talking on cell phones dressed in suits and carrying briefcases -
there's beautiful women walking with multiple bags strung around their arms some with little dogs on a leash behind them.
I felt as if I didn't belong.
I look down at myself and I see that I'm wearing a plain black t-shirt and my pants have multiple holes.
My shoes are starting to fall apart at the seams.
"Where am I?" I ask a man passing by me, but he didn't seem to notice I was there.

Am I invisible?

That's when I see you.
You're staring at me with those beautiful blue eyes.
I say your name, silently at first, almost only to myself.
I say it again louder this time, but you stay there, unresponsive.
I scream your name, and you move toward me.
I reach my arms out to grab you, and the moment I will never forget,
is when you walked right through me, as if **I never existed.