Seeing is deceptive
            you fall on fancy
            you invent or reject
            gone is the clarity.

I have nothing to say today
99.9% had been spoken yesterday.

Letting go
is the way to grow

Colours of autumn
speak of deep melancholy
of fragile beauty

Guy, thanks for reading my posts but I am learning, even as such an old man.  I feel, I reflect, I question, I observe, I doubt, I fall back on my experience, I take in the wisdom of others, humbly, sincerely and gratefully,  I challenge myself,  I take blame for my wrong perceptions, my unkind acts and my unfair judgement of others, I accept my fallibility, my faults and my weaknesses, I adapt, I modify, I change when such is called for, and last, but not least, I accept my mortality and I prepare myself for this eventuality, with the utmost humility.

Why are you weeping still, my heart
haven't you enough bled?
tears I can't bear any longer
you should not further shed--

I'm sinking, dying before my time
the flower of my youth has hardly blown
nine symphonies, six hundred songs
my 'Winterreise' and ' Die Schone Mullerin'--yet I moan

for fate has its cruelty upon me inflicted
I have so much more that does await
its glory and beauty to unfold in bright sunlight
but night descends and my life has nothing to celebrate

save the ruins of sorrows and heartaches
that all my dreams and hopes do destroy
if there were ever any redemption after I'm gone
it would be my songs that would bring me eternal joy.

The saint, the wise man, the philosopher
they sadly never learn to play the fool
millions of lives I've changed the world over
through my'Laugh 'Til You Drop Dead' School.

You must do your thing

and as for me,  mine

but if our paths do ever meet

that would be really fine

REQUIEMS

No, requiems are not for me
to the ranks of the great and celebrated I don’t belong
if you do remember me when I am gone
just sing me a simple and plain but heart-felt song

The past
leaves no tracks
only that
you imagine
you could retrace
your every step
and wish
that the outcome
had been different-

like sand
swept away
and swallowed
by the ravenous sea-

if there are tears
you weep alone
you can't reclaim
what had gone before-

like a song
sung only once
never to be heard
again

like a leaf
lost in a storm

like a flower
detached from the stem

like a star
fallen into space infinite

like clouds
dispersed

like a kiss lost
as the lover
has bidden goodbye

like love
that has died-

the past
is a disconnect
a critic
that mocks
it has no face
a mist
that has disappeared
into the nowhere.

The moment
the feeling
the thought
the act
the words to say
and to avoid-
the beyond-self view
of life and of others
this then
should be the theme
of my religion
the daily engagement--

I have no place verily
for worship
but in this immediacy--

life
a brief interlude
before the curtain's fall
that which we are
or not
is the story and plot
we could count
to be a little of something
or nothing at all.

You know me
only peripherally
and boldly advise
what I should do
to set my life right

like an HM or pastor
you boasted you knew better
I needed help being on the wrong side
of things-- I would slip further

away unless my conscience I search
bid the past goodbye
you would audit me then
with a warning: 'Our truth you should not deny'--

won't you leave me
to my ignorance and folly?
however wayward I might find myself
yet my life is lived in freedom and I am happy.

Give me someone who has NEVER lied to themselves
I would regard such a saint or a charlatan

They went all-out

     to seek what was  normal

     only to return in greater doubt

     and found their life to be abysmal.

I swim in a stream in a faraway forest known to none.  I found it in my youth and kept it a deep secret.  I know I have been selfish--it's too good to be shared.

I know if there were another person with me, we would talk and break the sacred silence and solitude of the place.

This is my retreat, my sanctuary, my little slice of heaven...
If I were dying the next day, I will have another swim there--
I would have touched the edge of eternity and die content and happy upon the morrow.

Please do not remind me
I no longer have any memory

Read less of the papers
     think independently more
     they are full of lies and rumours
     the daily deleterious eye-sore!

Am I not more

the cause of my own suffering

than that occasioned by

others or any other human being?

That which is dark
holds the story most profound
light is too obvious and tame
and too easily found

even love is hidden
in the heart's dark labyrinth
the owner lives in this mystery
and often wishes not to look within

The inexpressible
I prefer--that expressed
all at once loses its essence-
the pure has been crudely dressed

You conquer
not by intelligence
but by good manners
and character

In being alive

my heart opens to sing

all else I set aside

such joys does the moment bring-



in being alive

love blooms as in sweetest spring

in bliss I abide

there's splendour in everything

Who dares say
youth is folly?
it beams with fresh dreams
while old age is foggy-

the young heart might flounder
yet to better heights it will scale
its blood is thick with wonder
its songs are never stale-

some day through tears
it will mature and tell its tale
sunlight and moonlight it had kissed
it has triumphed beyond the years' narrow pale--

old age should not sigh but recapture
scenes of the past and regale
how love has wrought such splendour
when lovers on their first ship faithfully did set sail.

But the wise
aren't around
the unwise
are here--to confound!

Being sure
of unsure
the weight
of things
I measure-
I endure.

At the end of time
only one man will remain
he will not sing songs of joy
but of despair and pain

It's because

of today

that I have

my say:


I'll stay

I'll not walk away!

Know the literal
but understand the figurative
it's not the kernel
the latter is the real gift

I wish not
to contend
it's a sign
of inner weakness
to bend
towards that which
is indulged by those
in discontent

rather in my silent way
learn to strengthen
my zeal to live
to life's beauty
my heart to lend

vita brevis
tempus fugit
carpe diem

at dawn the flowers blow
at night they weep
the hours are lent
for but a while
too soon does end
the sweetest smile

I should learn
to understand
as I  stand
on shifting sand
the tide will rise
to wash away
all that's on the strand

I'll be left
staring at the faraway sea
wondering its whereabout
and where it would end.

I have long ago
accepted my inadequacy
and rather enjoyed it
indeed this has made me happy

Yesterday I was with time
it followed me to the day that's now
tomorrow we'll re-engage
there's no question of why or how.

Words define us and all that's life
stronger than the hardest steel, verily-
all civilisation is distilled within them
love, joy, sorrow and misery
to which the flesh is heir to
but man has such nobility
he might be down but will resurrect somehow
he will triumph over every adversity

Birds don't fear branches
  nor the slenderest of twigs
  we don't have their faith

First type:

They revel in their past glories and successes.
They practically insist on being heard and hope they will be admired.
They are loud, very loud and insensitive.
They repulse others.

Second Type:

They say only a few words-- and in neutral terms-
moving away from themselves as they don't wish
to attract any attention to themselves.
Such people are self-sufficient unlike the first type.
They are likely to be amiable and pleasant people.

Between the two, the first seem to predominate--
such is the weakness of human nature

The day slips away
it wouldn't bother
to say--
'see you tomorrow'
nor 'goodbye'

the moral--
time and I
always the 'twain'
but me it's too keen
to deny
with words:
'  that person
claims me a friend
and confidant
I think he does lie
for to none
do I belong
I'm no one's keeper
just an indifferent passer-by'

its tone is
harsh
contemptuous
incriminating
abrasive
and dry

am I
the trouble
that separates
myself
from life
or is it
but a trickster
bouncing its *****
of promised hopes
seducing me
right before my very
eye?

but no longer
am I
a child
to be beguiled

I'll stand
my ground
(while time
and life slip by)
in my resoluteness

ready
for a good
and
uncompromising fight
I won't forgo
my living right

I'll go beyond
myself
I'll reach
for the sky
and my words
of freedom
and fearlessness
write
upon its face:
'a man is born
to live
and must learn
to death defy
and invent
his own wings
to fly
where his heart leads
to lands wet
or dry
to every height
and no sky
will be too high'

I'll not hide
behind a curtain
nor construct
a wall
or fortress
least of all
would I retreat
to a lonely corner
my tears to dry

born alone
I'll seek no ally
if I stretch out
my heart
to the splendour
of love
to beauty's wonder
if my lips
are warm
kiss-ready
I'd have had
a foretaste of
life's honey
the grandest feast
I'd have dined

the day
would slip away
and me
it would envy

in its loss of words
I'd be left alone
in a world I've carved
and now I call my own

I've created
my own
bon nuit
and bonjour.

Everyone has had
their say
enough--no more-
goodbye is the final word
as we silently walk away.

I don't ever want to be measured
          others' opinions I've never treasured

I've no reason to frown

just because something doesn't suit me

I'd not offend anyone who's around

that would be travesty!

You are immortalised by these two arguments:

'The world is all that is the case.

The world is the totality of facts, not of things'

But philosophy is beyond me, dear Ludwig
that is a fact.  Another fact is I don't have wit.
One more fact, bear with me--I am bald but wear no wig.

Auld lang syne
    after the midnight of 31st December 2016
    the world stopped short
    the New Year to usher in--

    every past century met its end
    hopes blown to the wind
    'A happier world we seek'
     a slogan on every heart pinned

     only to come into rude wakening
     for man's nature would not change
     power, greed, violence, conflict and war
     was the bane of the times---strange

     in the midst of so-called progress
     and mankind claiming to have come
     to its own?  To the same cry of despair
     the tragedy and the desolation to succumb

     2017 will lead to year 3000 before long
    what would be the outcome?
     the century is sinking fast--verily--
     a thousand times worse would be the sum

     the young would no longer have dreams
    the old would have seen it all and be emotionally dumb
    nature would have been dehumanised and lost all her beauty
    savagery and destruction would replace every calm.

I have been sounding
like an old over-played record
my mind jarred and marred
has hardly turned away
from the grooves
embedded within
over the decades
from which I could not disentangle--

time has marched on
age has caught up with me
the seeds I once planted
in my life's garden
have all come to their own
now they are gallant trees
proud flowers, lush plants
a world they count all-sufficient
and I am needed no more

now
as I walk past
I know
they recognise me
in their silence
for they understand
( nature has taught them well)
who and what I am

could I blame them
if they were to sit
in judgement?

for they are pure
without a single blemish
their hearts
do not bear any mark
of inhumanity
they hold standards
which I could never achieve
and I walk away
in my lonely shame

I must take leave
from the shackles
of my tainted life
past steps
I have to retrace
one by one
new seeds of contemplation*
I have to seek
from the barrenness
of this wilderness
of my own creation

I have come
to the brink
of time
there was no jailer
it was I
who created
my own prison

even the sun
looks away from me
even the dark
dreads my presence
no star will shine
over me
and no bird
will sing for me

the sea forbids me
I would pollute
the grass would cringe
as I walk over the green

I have no home
to return to
the night-winds
conspire:
let's blow harder
on that man
let him suffer
and shiver
the more
the better

midnight
the bell chimes
darker grows the sky
a voice mysterious
suddenly drifts
from the distant hills
in a tongue
I can't understand
but its contents
somehow
strike terror in my heart

my voice is choked
I can't speak
I seem
to be tossed
in a whirlpool
out in the nowhere of time
next
I am falling
falling
falling
from the clouds
falling
falling
falling
from the precipice
falling
falling
falling
away from myself--

is this all a dream
or my imagination?

Is it an enemy
or friend--time?

But I care not either
only I alone can determine
my desired outcome!

I'll not allow it
to interfere or intrude
my path I chart
my field I farm

time doesn't exist
if to it  attention I don't pay:
my future I shape
it stays away and is dumb

Wu-wei (non-action) in Taoism
to him  nothing at all I did
he destroyed himself verily
by his own thought and deed

Let them have their say
they haven't spoken enough yet
if their words were added up
that would stretch for ten thousand miles I bet

this is the world as it is
too many want to do the talking
they don't  just speak--they yell and shout-
they hear only their voices---listening

is not something they are used to
conversation is a long-lost art
since they know it all
what could the others impart?

and even on their death-beds
a long list they will still make
of the things they didn't have the chance
to say-- talking is too precious to forsake!

Life is hard, imperfect and fragile.
How we live makes us what we are--
no one can be perfectly happy
and that's a good thing--
if it were,  we would hardly grow

It's the downhill
of time-- mine-
I pause and I ponder
while daylight still has a little shine

too soon the last rays
of evening will set in
dusk's shadows will spread
their wings and my hopes will wear thin

each individual life
where lies its worth?
I count the years
the past I unearth

and this I say to myself:
I'm old and worn but still alive
nothing shall come in between
while I struggle and strive

to find the meaning of it all
during the last days of my life
to set the wrong to right
my avowed ideals to revive

and not to allow despair
to sink deep into my heart
rather chart a new path
like youth making a fresh and bold start

I'll not fail and my spirit
from the ruins of the past
shall resurrect and wholesome
I'll become.  Now, I'll say  it's not the last

but the glorious crossover
to the Brave New World where
the downhill of time shall be reversed
this in absolute faith I dare declare.

The day promises me nothing
I have to give it meaning.

The day
do we notice?
(sometimes we look away).

The day
listen, oh listen to
what it has to say.

The day
how does it compare
with yesterday?

The day
would you want it
to longer stay?

The day
to love and adore
is to pray.

The day
are we missing
the splendour on the way?

The day
it invites
come, dance and play.

The day
while the sun shines
make hay.

The day
work well
not just for the pay.

The day
bring in the sunshine
if the sky is grey.

The day
is for edifying
not for fray.

The day
hold yourself high
let showers of hope freely spray.

The day
open your heart's window
it's no time for dismay.

The day
the meadow is beckoning
don't delay.

The day
look, look
the darling buds of May.*

The day
nature her proudest gowns
gladly does display.

The day
let its message of hope
to everyone convey.

The day
its opportunities
let's survey.

The day
dusk is not yet
don't say 'Nay'.

The day
it's mine
how could I walk away?

Give us peace
   this is the greatest good
   stop the making of ammunitions
   let's produce more food.

   Kindness and compassion
   should be mankind's very root
   let hatred be replaced by love
   follow the path of grace we all should.

It's the chase
the irresistible impulse
the irksome wanting
--often undefined and vague-
not despair or angst
more  restlessness and discontent
a strong hint of emotional thirst
and too often in desperation
the blind plunge into some void
alas! the common inheritance
of heart and mind so prevalent
heedless of any dire consequence--

but there's no enlightenment
nor light at the further end
only the mocking sneer of time
and foreboding darkness at the bend.