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 Oct 2016 Donald Durham
Julia Mae
82.
you don't want me?
you don't have to have me
and i can leave
as quickly as i arrived
you're so sure you own me
and i am at your beck and call
with no life of my own -
don't fool yourself
you are not my world
and if you can't see me
nor appreciate me
and pull me around
as your little trophy prize -
i'm great at disappearing
just watch me
i don't even need to say good bye
this is a great big *******, to you, for not appreciating me entirely and thinking i am always going to be around when you decide you "want" me.
 Oct 2016 Donald Durham
Julia Mae
she wrote
so dark
there was
never any
light
between her
lines

he wrote
so sad
there was
never any
life
between his
lines

she wrote
one last time

he wrote
of suicide
 Oct 2016 Donald Durham
Julia Mae
i have never felt so terrible
i have never been an option
it's either me, or a bottle
and you choose the bottle
every time
every single time
your addiction does not love you
not like i do
yet you cannot see
you never listen
you are drowning, lost and gone
i can't help holding on
i can't keep hurting myself
along the razor edges of your broken bottles
as broken as you are
so i only wish, for you to take of yourself
i cannot keep watching you **** yourself
thoughts. i am really lost lately.
 Oct 2016 Donald Durham
Julia Mae
sometimes i hate being a poet, because i write about everyone but no one writes about me. i am the one spilling my heart out with ink; suffering, quietly, crying, and aching. why does my mind feel the need to empty itself and write? my words don't always heal this ache, they just make my chest bleed even more. why can't i be an empty person, who can let go and doesn't let their fingers fly with passion and remorse and spite? sometimes i hate being a writer, because all of these cries feel futile, they just keep reminding me that no one is listening to me.
 Oct 2016 Donald Durham
Corvus
There's a time, somewhere between 12am and 6am,
When all artistic, damaged or insomniatic souls
Feel like they're completely alone
Even though we're all awake and feeling the same thing.
12am is still too loud, still too car engines and shouting,
And 6am is too light, too exposing and awake, aware.
It's blackness but for the starlight puncturing holes in the sky,
That's when the magic arises and enchants us.
The way the moon looks at us and begs us to untrouble our weary hearts,
So we do it, and we do it willingly.
She is the most unfaithful lover, and it is beautiful.
How she cherishes each whispered secret so deeply
That it leaves a crater on her being.
How she takes on our pain unflinchingly,
And only needs 28 days to feel whole again.
There's a time, somewhere between 12am and 6am,
When the most trapped souls can feel such freedom.
Not entirely convinced that insomniatic is a word, but it should be.
 Oct 2016 Donald Durham
Emma
mute, in a bubble
black holes open - and swallow
swallow me all whole

party, I won't be
some, something, I want to be
somebody not me

I fumble over
alone, I speak like the dark
but I guess I try

the empty glances
alone, I guess I liked her
I got used to it
I haikuified a song for a competition on allpoetry.com. The song is "I was all over her" by salvia palth.
You write yourself into your own love stories as the victim of a girl
that only ever used you

I know your heart was broken, you told me
But that doesn' mean your hands are clean of blood
You broke my heart,
and hers too
When you took to bed
A girl with tattoos
Maybe she didn' mean anything or
Maybe everything I
can't be sure

But now I have a heart full
of nothing
you took what I had left
And ran with it

You come back now and again
But so far, you haven' stayed
I'm wishing you would
And haven' ruled out that you will
So I answer you
With my head up high and my hopes low

Your songs mean nothing anymore
cause I know what you're capable of
I still think bout you often
And by the looks of it
You think bout me too

Sometimes love isn' made to
Fill you up or
Complete you
But break you so you can be
Rebuilt
I hope to grow tall
With you as my foundation
A home built together from nothing
But rubble and empty promises
I think I was already made for you
Cause Fates fine hand doesn' mess up often
Even if she is fickle
She isn' careless

You've got a whole lot of love in you
I see it in your smile
And the way you cry
Put down the bottle and
pick up the phone
I'll forgive you for what you've done
Cause I love who you are and
were

The past is in the past, they tell me but
I guess you're in my past too
Yet somehow I'm still looking forward to you
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