If freckles were lovely, and day was night,
And measles were nice and a lie warn’t a lie,
Life would be delight,—
But things couldn’t go right
For in such a sad plight
I wouldn’t be I.

If earth was heaven and now was hence,
And past was present, and false was true,
There might be some sense
But I’d be in suspense
For on such a pretense
You wouldn’t be you.

If fear was plucky, and globes were square,
And dirt was cleanly and tears were glee
Things would seem fair,—
Yet they’d all despair,
For if here was there
We wouldn’t be we.

red sheets
      knotted
the closet
      half full
rusting
      faucet
brunette
      lulled

the children
      spinning images
their father
      consumed
wife
      exhausted
homewrecker
      perfumed

dishes stacked
      high
lights flicker
      on
sheets hung
      dry
door
      unlocked

Trained to believe she is worthless.
Conditioned to hate the way she smiles.
And the color of her eyes,
Her hair color,
Her chest and thighs.
Told that she is cute,
But never beautiful.
"I'd bang her but I'd never date her"-
Unlovable.
Anxiety ridden, air headed, silly little girl.
How dare she think that she could be anything more?
"You complain too much"
"You worry too much"
"You're difficult and stubborn
and God I don't know why I'm even with you"
Too smart of a mouth on too small of a girl.
It only brings her trouble.
She forgives the men who taught her she was nothing,
But continues to live out the lessons they taught her.
Trained to believe she is worthless.
Conditioned to hate the way she smiles.

Someone is there with a camera
but in her mind she is alone,
running a ridge high above the Parkway,
trying to avoid the reckless wildflowers
in her path, many which match the gold in her hair.

She imagines the sounds of the cars and
motorcycles below as a distant swarm
of bees on their way to finding gold
of their own.  Suddenly, high meadow drops
into a balsam forest and she is gone,

taking the wildflowers with her.  I put my camera
away and return to the trail-head to wait.

A thousand soldiers would not compare
To the battle I am about to share
This man fought hard and long
But in the end was too weak to be strong.
A man so loved by all he knew
A man whose love was pure and true.
The wisest man that was you
The one I could have asked anything to.
I question why you cannot be here by my side
But I guess the angels had to take you way up high
The saddest day was the day you left
You left all of our hearts bereft.
I know that you will be watching over me
And I would watch over you too if that was a possibility.
You were too good for a world like this
My dad, I love you, the one I will always miss.

It took 20 minutes
to drive and pick you up from work.
It took 15 minutes
for me to beat you in 2k with a smirk.
It took 10 minutes
for me to show off my ukulele skills.
It took 5 minutes
for you to show me your on stage thrills
It took 2 minutes
to goof around and give me a shove.
But it only took 1 kiss,
and I was in love.

"Go deep," she said.
Gliding her fingers across my hand.
Where do I start?
How do I begin?
Well I guess with any mistake, it began when I finished my gin.
I thought about heading to her place,
Even through the cold and rain.
But I hesitated when I pictured her face
Staring back at my intoxicated pain.
I would have heard it all before.
Her words of disgust and how I'll never change.
And then I'll plead and tell her I'll never be the same.
Then I thought what I'd go home to.
A room full of **** and empty tins of chew.
So I decided to say "**** all this." And step back out into the rain,
And into the abyss.