my soul has
grown tired
and functioning
has become hard
I'm like a broken
machine
i can function
but i can't do it
right
its broken
the memories of you and i
and when the memories broke
the machine did
now if you didn't understand,
the machine is a metaphor,
and that metaphor,
is me.
i am
the machine.
i am
the metaphor.




m.g.

I wake as your  friend                                     You wake as my lover
I speak as your lover                                       You speak as my friend
I act as your possession                                   You are my possesion
I rebel as your cover                                        A means to an end
I hurt for your compassion                             You live for my acceptance
I injure for your respect                                  Though it's never been withheld
I confide for your emotion                              You crave my direction
I give and you collect                                      Never will you rebel

This is madness                                               This is Sparta
This is insanity                                                This is the price of exellence
I can't be everything for you                          I am your everything
You can't be everything for me                     I am magnificence
You treat everyone the same                         I am fair and righteous
As a friend, yet as a lover                              And yet you seek more
And it's a cruel, cruel game                          Dare you grow capricious
From your twisted love, no one recovers     You'll become one I abhor

I am done                                                       You are confused
(I am never done)                                          And I will not calm you
I am sick                                                        As I am amused
(But I'm not tired)                                         As I drop little clues  
I will run                                                        You'l­l never leave me
(I won't run)                                                  But I'll abandon you
Because I love you                                        You'll always need me
(A better word is 'desire')                             And I'll never need you

Let me go!                                                    My grip is vice-like
(But you're not holding me)                       I'm not ready to let you go
Bring me back!                                            If I lose you, 'my dear'
(But I never left)                                          I must find yet another 'beau'
Love me only!                                             And I've not the time to put effort
(But you love equally)                               In little minions like you
Push me away!                                          I've not a care to give for
(Or bridge this rift)                                    You insects I never knew

Please, disappear                                       I am your torture
One day you'll understand                      But I am your salvation
That the twisted way you love                 I am your executioner
Could coax death from any human        And I am your redemption
Please, disappear!                                     You'll wish me dead forever
Though I'll weep when you're gone        You'll wish me dead I know
I know sanity will return                          And you'll wish yourself deader
And I'll eventually move on.                    *When away I finally go.

This pain in my chest,
The feeling of disgust,
I have it all the time.
I cant sleep,
Paranoia the whole night,
I cant have friends,
Or a life.
Im too insane,
and too unworthy.
        j.b

It's raining, it's storming
The tools are conforming
Society will be the death of me
Please pills, don't let me wake in the morning
It's sleeting, it's snowing
Their plastic smiles are glowing
Put your make up on, dignity gone
Make sure your "made in China" tag isn't showing
Its windy, the sun is shining!
Their ignorance is blinding!
No hope for mankind, I've lost my mind
There is no silver lining

I have some secret feelings
Which only I can feel
Which only I have known
And no matter how much something
relates, they won't ever be same
But I cannot write saddest lines like Neruda
nor can I get drunk like Bukowski
with these feelings of mine
They know no words
But they are master of silent dark tortures
Which only I know
When the night engulfs me whole
I shine with inhibitions
They dance over my skins like cataract
And I drown with condemn for myself
I get burnt under water and buried above clouds
And only I can feel it
No matter how deep I hide, these will never leave me
And I know this because I have tried
I sit beside window
My secret feeling glancing at me from moon
from stars, from clouds
and bullies me sometimes with gush of wind, sound of dogs
and engines tht rolls
late at night
The building with a light turned on
in one of the rooms
puppets my feelings with shadows
There lies two beings biting hard at my wounds
And I just sit at my window feeding them
With smokes of metaphors and alcohol of rhymes
Beacause only I can save me
which I fail everytime.
or only she can save me
And I am sure to die of this.

Building walls
Impenetrable
To everyone
Except you

I allow you in
Just so you
Can tear me apart
From the inside out