****.
are you uncomfortable?
                 tell me
                         do you feel sick?
****.
i will say it
        over and over again
                    each time louder
                                and more angry than the last
****.
repeating, repeating, repeating
                                 until you decide to
                                                    take action
                                                            and stop blaming the victim
****.
does it scare you?
            do something about it
                       scream about how enraged
                                          you are that this is even an issue

that feeling you get
              when you’re on the tube and you’ve got
that song blasting in your cheap earphones
            you stare out the window, not that there’s anything to look at
     just a blurry wall
                you think yourself to be some sort of
cinematic genius in these moments
              you watch yourself in something of a movie
                       where you’re the director, the star, and the writer
       it’s emotional and perfect
             like a stupid ******* indie music video
                  for the song you love that nobody knows

god, *******
           i ******* despise you
                          pure ****.
       **** of the ******* earth.
do you understand?
               will you ever
                       understand?
                             the longevity of the pain
            that you've inflicted on me?
when you put your
           filthy
               unwelcomed
                          hands on me
        i want to tear away
the flesh
       and skin
                 where you gripped me
                                    

                          *******.

do you see them?
       do you see my words?
do you?
          can you see?
                       say something
                                     look at my words
s
    a
y
                     s
                  o
                       m
                            e
                                t
                           h
                      i
                   n
                        g

i’d like to feel alive
　　　　　when was the last time
you really felt alive?
　　　　　the last time i felt pain was
this morning when i
　　　　brushed my teeth until
my gums bled
　　　maybe i’ll stick needles in my skin
to feel something
　　　　　　something
to imitate the addictingly horrible pain
　　　　　　　　　　　　　of a lover’s touch

oh dear
    it seems that i've
lost track of time again
              the days are far and few between
    oh dear, oh dear
                       the minutes have melted together
          so have the hours
                                 i see no difference between
                    a week
                                     a month
                                                          or a year
it is all slow
                       i'm aging yet i feel
                                                       just like i did yesterday
           my watch must be broken