Words are invisible like
***** and *****
Until they are
shown in a black light,
Known as action

I see the stars, I soar the skies
I keep my heart in my chest
I'm telling all sorts of lies
Because my heart isn't in my chest

Roses adorned by its precious petals
Held still by the soil and stems
Where winter's snow slowly settles
And snowflakes fall like shards of gems.
Clustered clouds rain overhead
I fall to a fault merely at your sight
And the day that I'll be dead
Is the day that I no longer hold you tight.

The white rain that polishes and feeds the rose
Now pours to form a new seed
And though I suppose
That these words will bleed.
Bleed the love I held in my heart
The love that spawns a rose in the frozen
And though we might fall apart
You are the one I have always chosen

Barricaded walls, block my heart inside my ribs,
For when I gave my heart to you,
You moved it out of its place and made the red lines
Become coated in a farmiliar shade of blue.

I never knew love until we met,
I gave my heart to you
And over time my trusting heart,
Started to break in two.

I wish I could say 'I love you' just once more
But the time for truth and phrases has passed,
I've been feeling broken , bruised, blue and sore
Hoping that I'll get the chance once again.

Carry the sunrise on my shoulders
And the weight of it will vanish
But it's been so many hours, it's still not over
And I've left my mind to rot.

I promised myself, I swore to never open up again.
The last time was the first time I picked up a pen.
This time, there’s a little variation between the last.
This time, I really wished it wasn’t titled ‘tales from the past’.

No son should hear their mother's cry
muffled by the whispers of 'I'm fine'.
The tears still fresh from the eye,
like a salt stained ravine.
I've seen the greatest fall,
the strongest weakened,
and I witnessed
my mum fall on a weekend;
not a spiral towards the floor,
not in physicality but
in an emotional rollercoaster
that has herself coasted
off to where the words can't reach;
where her heart does bleed,
and where her mouth doesn't speak.

"Mum are you ok?" I mutter,
knowing well enough of the answer,
But i pretend to be some majestic dancer
prancing around the topic.
There's a caution sign,
it reads "wet floor"
only floor is spelt different,
it's spelt with an H
an E and a continuation of art.
I tiptoe around the sign
as though they were land mines,
afraid that one false step
could pour my own death.
...
No son should hear their mother's cry
muffled by the whispers of 'I'm fine'.

Sometimes beyond the grave, your voice, your heartbeat, your thoughts, values and screams are all muffled by the dirt caving in on you known as society. Sometimes beyond the grave, all that remains is a deserted set of bones laying there , slowly decomposing, slowly vanishing from earth, slowly turning into an ultimate nothingness.

                                              -Star Gazer

I wanted to write you a poem yesterday
But something along the lines of alone
Left that feeling washed away.

I wanted to write about how I'm here for you
But I guess you wanted something clearly new.
I was stressed from what words to use
To hopefully paint colours to your blues.
I could write of your smile
How it shined lights from a million miles
How your eyes were the right shape and colour
And they could stare into souls, pass the exterior covers.
How you appeared in my dreams
How you were beautiful
And ripped interlocked fingers like seams
So the sunrise and you had something in common.
Your sense of humour and words
Are to be envied by those who lacked.
Keep on shining

It becomes an act of futility when you realise that what you believed was true was a mirage. A poison to the brain and poison to the heart. It was something that leaves people thinking maybe it could have been, because in a world where a fragile freak meets a gorgeous angel is only part of the imagination.

Sometimes things get dragged on so far that even the world has moved on plenty since the last encountering but your heart hasn’t healed as much as hoped. Telling the world you’re okay, but having billion burdens on that little instrument that keeps you going

Why wait for someday?
Why not make it today?
You can wait for time to pass by
With each second
A different grain of sand
Passing by an hourglass
That captures nothing
But the hours left in our lives.
Wait not for those who cause
Heartache and sadness
But
Let the grains of sand
Cascade to the bottom
Of an hourglass
And the arms of a clock
tick on
As you wait for love.

Waiting with twitching fingers
As the judges come judging
Fear within his heart lingers
''What if they were misjudging?''

The critics were not amazed
As other kids looked at God
''Must have been how he was raised''
They said with a simple nod.

The critics' mouth forms a word
"C+ no better, no worse"
And what god had really heard
was "God you did not come first".

God added Adam and Eve
Just so the C+ was changed
And in his heart he believe
"C+ could sure be exchanged".

The critics came around again
God gestured "Look at the finest",
With a scribble of an inked pen,
C+ changed to a C-

I called you my angel
Without knowing you're lucifer
And with your lust for her
I'm left here wondering
Why I ever loved you in the
first place.

It wasn't your boyish charms
It wasn't your perfect white teeth
They weren't that great,
Nor was it your chiseled body,
And it wasn't the fact that
Most of the time I saw your smiles
they were in my direction
I'm certain it wasn't your hair
The way they stand up so naturally
And I can reassure you it wasn't
The kind heart you had shown me
Nor the care and understanding
You placed upon me.
It wasn't the way you called me
Darling or honey
And made me feel precious
It wasn't the time you told
Your friends 'she's mine'.
It wasn't any of those things.
It wasn't you.

I was not bred in truth
So I fell for lies.
I was kept out of the dark
So I couldn't appreciate light.
I was deprived of air
So now I regret every breath.
I was unbeknownst to love
So I chased lonely nights.
I was terrified of the light
So I chose to dim my own.

I am now more lost than I've ever been
After having seen more than I've ever seen.

We were never set in stone,
To afraid to find the light, we found the dark, alone,
Enticed to start a brand new home.

Momma tells me not to get drunk
She says it's an ugly sight
Not because of the overhead lights
But because it's night.

Everytime I drink, I break down
I become someone who cries
Someone who starts being sad.
The saddest thing is
I know that that's the real me.
Someone who drinks tears mixed beer
And talks about loneliness
As a long time companion,
Someone who has had enough time
On Earth.
I really wish that wasn't the real me.

We weren't all made this way;
Left the classrooms just to pray
Hoping that the school bell
would take away the pain.

The light guiding us has been long gone
Replaced by the same old song
Of how we weren't ever made to belong,
We fought off tides after tides of criticism.

We told ourselves we were better than them
...We had to be.

When people ask me why I enjoy the company of the stars, I honestly don't have one good answer to explain the sensation of just gazing aimlessly into the night. I guess somewhere between staring at the stars, I am reminded of the light that shines over me, looking right over my shoulders to provide clarity to confusion. I guess why I enjoy the company of the stars is because each speck of star light reminds me of home and home is a place I can be me. I could look at the sun, a star in label but I would be blinded by its scorching brightness that I would not have much of a view. I guess why I enjoy the company of the stars is because when I'm looking at them, I'm pretending that I'm looking into your eyes, the beauty they contain is equivalent in every single way and the reason I enjoy the company of the stars is because I know I would enjoy the company of you under the stars. I was told if I walked a bit further, chased things a lit harder, get lost a little longer that I would find myself but the truth is, I have been lost for almost all of my life and it is you that has found me and in a way helped me find myself. I guess what I'm trying to say is, when I think of home, I think of you and all that you mean to me. I'm nestled in between your arms where no harm could ever come past our walls and it is just you and me in an eternal moment of ecstasy and I realised it is this moment that my hand feels the loneliest, because it is craving the warmth of your hand. My ears is having withdrawals to an unknown substance as it is ringing to hear your voice and my heart is scratching at discs and pressing on buttons struggling to stay on beat as it yearns so hard to be near you.

I hear tunes in my head,
It plays to the tunes of Beethoven,
Then slowly ceases to silence.
I hear tunes in my head,
An imagination of what your voice
Sounds like to me.
If I were to choose between the two,
I would always choose the latter
Because I can dive into my imagination
And because nothing can move my heart
Than the sound of symphonies
Orchestrated to sync with the beat of my heart.
I hear tunes in my heart,
The brass that is your breath,
The stringed instruments that ties my heart,
Percussions that matches the beating,
Of my once silent heart.

I'm such a loser
Always stuck in the past.
Ugghh

Night descends upon us,
As we sat beside one another,
Gazing into the stars just because
those gents hath brought the night colour.

Thy sweet tender voice,
Speaking of thine love for the arts,
Mine own really had no choice,
But to give thou all of mine heart.

Speaketh on the topic of love if thou must,
But an act so unredeemable,
Is when thou speaketh of love without just,
For thy words preach incapable.

.........As mine own eyes witness the stars and its glory,
.....Mine mind and heart hath truly forgotten that thee art a star,
.........So I promise to heed thine words and thine story,
.......For mine mind wilt at each moment remember thou and thine guitar.

When the dark night kicks in,
I am left to fend of my own demons,
Loneliness and regret fill up my body.
They try to drown me with my own tears,
But I won't let them.
I won't let them.
I won't let them.
They made their way into my bed,
Crawling onto my fluffy pillow,
And fill thoughts into my head.
A million thoughts trying to,
Bury me into the ground...
I won't let them.
I won't let them.
They take me as a friend,
But how their words did bend,
Oh what a tragic end.
They surround my being,
I guess I did let them.
I guess I did let them.

The stars look so pretty tonight,
Reflecting the glare that is the moonlight.
It is even better when you have company,
Oh how I wish you would come to me.

Hair so yellow like a sunflower,
The way you'd look at stars late every hour,
It is almost like you bathe in its beauty,
But I bathe in your beauty, cutie.

Oh how I wished to hold you in my arms,
Keep you from the dangers and the harms,
This world will throw at you,
But then again even the night sky has shades of blue.

I see you play the guitars, your fingers striking the strings,
Oh how I wish I was the strings, and bring the joy that it brings,
I can see you paint sometimes, just an array of finesse,
I can't say anything more than I think I've been blessed.
Keep your heart where it is at,
For I can not watch it fall in half once again.
                           My world is made beautiful by your presence.
                              -Fellow Star Gazer

Nestled in the comfort of my own home
I looked to the streets that lay beneath
Witnessed gaps in smiles and holes in teeth
I looked from four floors up feeling like the king of Rome
I looked down upon them as I ran through my perfect hair, a comb.
I have hidden away like a blade inside a sheath,
For foul creatures and poverty stricken lay underneath
And the same roads with them, I will not be forced to roam.

Praise the strength of the less fortunate they said,
Praise what? The pathetic poor peasants?
If I could, I'd have them strung limb to limb like pheasants
And remember my last request shall I be on my deathbed
Let no man who is poorer than I, be within my peripheral sight
For I know that they have not deserved the right.

Letters to empty corpses,
the paper, absorbent
to the tears I've expelled
I've written my voice,
yelped a little yell,
learnt to correctly spell,
just in hopes that these
letters would reach you.

But they don't...

There's no one left,
no one on the other side,
who once i could confide,
I've left in a pretence
of stride, that these words
are seen by your eyes,
I'd heard you read them
aloud in my head, over
and over your voice echo
like the footstep march
of a million soldiers
all taking that one step closer
to what they spent their life
avoiding. I've pretended
that my letters have reached
you...

But they don't...

Letters to empty corpses...
Hoping you'd forfeit
what you call pride,
from the other side,
read the contents enclosed
by just opening the envelope.

But you don't...

Letters to empty corpses
unread by your eyes
due to some deeper forces,
unread by your eyes
Letters to empty corpses
that bled my heart...

All the letters and papers,
pages from the past,
as empty as shadows
in the night...

****, ****, ***, ****** here i am
missing you again.

Leave me no air, nor food, nor water
Leave me only a smile
The pearly mountains of hearts desire
That never rains nor ever storms.

Leave me no lungs, nor fingers, nor legs
Leave me only my sight
So I can gaze upon your beauty
For my heart has become blind.

Leave me in chains, while rotting, and dying
But leave me with my memories
And I would gladly fall upon my knees
To meet my makers in another light.

Leave me to waste away and die
As long as you do not leave my side
And let my concluding moment
Be to gaze upon your beauty, one last time.

They said I could never be loved,
because my hair wasn't cool,
my fashion sense wasn't hot,
and I had a microscopic tool.

They said I could never be loved,
that I was a disfigured freak,
And along with that ,
I was somewhat of a geek.

They said I could never be loved,
because unlike a star I had no charm,
just a presence without any meaning,
like some ordinary cow at a farm.

I remember meeting a boy like me,
who enjoyed more of the scenic routes,
Who lacked confidence like me,
and never really asked any girls out.

I remember meeting a boy like me,
who knew of what love truly meant,
I remember meeting a boy like me,
Who had a girl to help straighten his world when it bent.

Those rodents that scurry along the house
Tell them I envy them.
I've been asphyxiated by the confines
Placed upon me.
Tell those furry creatures of the night
That I envy their freedom.
I've been fixated on escaping
Yet I ask myself 'how?-
How do you escape what you've-
known all your life?'
Tell those disgusting rodents
That I envy their existence.
So shall I lay upon the back
Of my breathing corpse
Tell my mother
'I have had enough
Of living a life
Much more rigid
And degrading
Than that of a
RAT'.

I hear the stars, they silently speak to me
Their whispers carried leaves from a tree
Towards me. 'I gaze at beautiful stars'
I announced to the people in my car,
But they could not understand my speech
As they've not seen stars further than arms reach.
I wondered on the names of the mysterious star
'Was this star shining its beams towards me from afar?'
I asked myself 'worry not about the stars glow
For the warmth provided is all I've felt and know'.
I don't know whether to compliment the stars, from here
Or to thank the star for its nova glow that brought about cheers.
I know not whether I deserve the glow and warmth
But I know that I will try my best to gaze at the stars of bright hue,
To learn of the stars, in the way that the astronomers do.
__
Waiting for a star to appear within my sights, the bright lights of beauty and warmth
that exudes from this star has illuminated my mood.

I want to write about you
the way I do a spot of light
shining on like a lighthouse
on an uneventful dark night.
I want to write about your eyes,
the mystifying stars above us
that gently remind us of light
and how sometimes it is enough.
I want to write about your smile,
the one I have not set sights upon
like the concavity meant to draw life
into its presence from stars and beyond.
I want to write the way you make me feel
but to describe such a sensation is indelible
and a permanent scar that sits across my heart
I'm reminded of my faults that are plentiful.
I want to write about you
...but humans aren't meant to write about angels
while having their feet planted on the planet,
I want to write about you
the way I do the stars
because i want to gaze at you
not with my eyes but my heart.

I fell into deep despair,
When no one had  hearts to spare,
Had so much love left to share,
And no one to share it with.
Saw oceans turn children in,
And let voices of politicians win,
Even with all the sins,
I could never find a heart to let me in.
I tumbled and fell many times,
Lost my mind on many rhymes,
Touched many books and many spines,
Yet could not find someone to call mine.
It isn't about possession though,
Just a little glint of hope,
I want to see in scope.
I have been through hell and back,
pulled myself off train tracks,
saw myself get heart attacks,
and all I want is a hand to hold.

I poured tears into my pillowcase again last night,
I really hope this feeling of losing love goes away.
I haven’t been talking for a while, nothing to say,
because when i do speak, my voice becomes tight
trying to choke away the tears and I’m scared i might,
Break down in front of my family in the light of day.
I tried telling my heart, no your love will not decay...
But I’m gambling in the hopes of a dimming light.

Claimed ourselves to be failures
Wondering if we inherited
The features from our mothers or fathers.

We called ourselves failures
from the words we heard
spoken by the lips
of those deemed 'socially acceptable'.

We aren't failures,
We are different
And different
Is unique
And unique
is wonderful.

We are all wonderful people.

Memories and the pain linger
It becomes a part of me for life,
Even when I married your dad,
And became a common house wife
It lived with me.
Every remnant scar sitting on my skin
All the ache I have felt,
Not just physically but emotional.

You wouldn't understand
The tears that flow endlessly
Accompanying the memories
Of a mother burying their child.
I have a brother, oh well had a brother
My eldest sibling,
At 12 he died due to being malnourished
And my mother was brave, she had courage
She let out only a single tear
And buried him.
It was war, you had to be strong
or you would have been broken.
You would have been silent
But in thoughts, you were loudly spoken.

I can remember the scorching bridge
Running barefoot on hot metal
And witnessing crowds of family
Falling to knees to artillery damage.
The smell of human flesh being burnt
As crisp lay upon crisp, nothing felt fine.
I kept going however, at a young age
That's all you could really do after all.
I was born and then it happened,
There was no enjoyment,
There was nothing prior to it
So I kept running in hopes
That maybe we can actually
one day experience
what being a kid really is like.

You haven't realised how much is sacrificed
Through love and kinship
When you haven't seen blood flow like river
staining the palm trees where corpses lay upon.
We won't be able to appreciate every aspect of life
But we surely appreciate being alive.

The sands slips through the neck of the hour glass
And with each grain of sand sifting through the tight confines
I found your hands slipping away , each passing second,
Until our hands no longer touched and you are no longer mine.

Once, my eyes
The remnant of clear skies
I buried my soul behind my lines
And anger behind each rhyme.
I hid my tears behind storms
where rain cleansed blood of war
and separated the gold from the ore.

Now, my eyes
The colour of clear skies
Brought about by a beautiful sunrise
and a warmth exuded from the sun's shine.
I thank you for destroying the storms
and keeping me completely warm.

But I love your smile
only because they lit the night,
sparkled like candles, twinkled like stars,
until they guided me,
to you.

Brushstrokes upon the canvas
Drew herself in middle Kansas
Still wearing the bright red shoes
That sparkled like it was new.

Paint dries upon the coloured canvas
She felt like she needed more practice
As each paint spot smeared and smudged
But the brush held won't bend or budge.

The artist didn't change her imperfections
But described that each succession
Of brushstrokes that was made wrong
Was just the planned portrayal all along.

She says 'You see, people, we aren't perfect,
We may touch up with makeup on the surface,
But none of us is in anyway completely flawless,
So chaos,mess,destruction whatever you call this-

Just know it's a reflection of how humanity really is,
There's an edge, a curve, a bend,a bulge, a twist
And it is these mistakes that make us exists
As humans'.

She said as she took upon a new canvas
And freely painted her soul amongst the whiteness
And even though it might have been interpreted
As darkness or a dark-mess, to her it was her soul.