I tried to lose you
when his laugh sounded like yours
and my mind pictured your face on his
I closed my eyes
And submerged my body under the water
To wash you clean off of me
Here, all the earths’ sounds disappeared
Here, I could no longer see
But you, you were still there
The sound of your voice and the image of your face
Washed over me like the water I was beneath
I tried to lose you
but I’m drowning
Drowning in the memory of you

Is this what being an adult is?

Staring at objects and them staring back at you
Thinking only that you don't know if you have enough energy left
To put that away, do this, do that

But, somehow, doing it anyway
Because otherwise you know nothing will ever get done

Because it is only you here, by yourself

Is this what being an adult is?
Being too tired to weave feelings into poems
And so listing thoughts out in hollow fashion

Just so you can get to sleep

All in all, it's not such a bad place to be

It's a land built on dreams
with roads that follow the orderly rainbow of a Candyland board
and Sugarplum fairies who dance by your bed all year long
Even the spider's web is a prism that twinkles with light
and everything is coated and sealed with a rose gold glow

The people hold doors for each other here

They smile walking through the halls
Laughter echoes in the very walls
It was decreed that there should be a nationwide celebration
any time something good happened to someone on sunny side
so every day has turned into a holiday
The air filled with cheers and songs
and all that's left to do is twirl and spin, with ribbons in my hair, to dance...

There is only one rule in sunny side
and that is to not go off the path
DO NOT LOOK BACK

I never meant to wander astray
The flowers were so pretty, I skipped into the field
It was windier than I'd ever felt before, it whipped around my hair
I heard a hissing, loud, a vortex to all other sounds
I turned look behind my shoulder
And there the darkness was

I ran from the field as fast as I could
but I could not unlearn what I had seen
It's hard to have depth without shadows
I was tainted, no true part of sunny side, or anywhere, anymore
I found myself pulled back into the field, more and more

They had set up a white picket fence, long, long ago
to keep the darkness out
There's a boy who lives on the other side though
Last time, as I stood mesmerized by his world beyond the fence
I can't help but think he saw me

I make up my mind that I will call out to him

But when I get there, I notice the fence is cracking and crumbling
splintering away
The light and darkness rush into space to meet each other head on
and as they collide, they ignite in perfect synchrony
Dead, cold, bright and brilliant, like stars

It makes me dizzy

I look up and see that the boy has come to the fence too
flanked by shadows or soldiers, whichever they may be
The fence is falling I try to warn him, but the words are ripped away by the wind

I wonder if I have committed this crime
against the history of sunny side
for it seems neither side will matter much anymore

A new chapter will have to be written for all
The only thing left to fill those pages
will be the harmony of space
and the stars created
when the fence has finally faced its fall.

i don't want to be your friend i want to kiss your lips