I am aware,
That you are not.
That this pain, my pain,
Is not yours.

Never good
Or just not good enough
There was something to
Your eyes, in me,
never worth to be fond of.
I wonder why she was,
while I was not,
In a rare case where a ghost
defeats real flesh
Real lust.

Me, with real flaws
And real love, and really,
Really hurt
By the waltz of the past
You made me dance
Till my feet bled,
And my body ached,
And my soul was broken,
And my dignity.. left.

But I’m aware,
That you are certainly not
that this pain, my pain
Will never be yours.

I remember the last time I walked to your house,
in my headphones, a song by the cure
‘The cure’.. A bit ironic, I thought
Cause I was so sick
So, so, sick,
of loving
you.

Sometimes I eat alone
seated across my thoughts
and I wish
you were here
to hear them

You don’t exist in this universe
I’m living in,
the happiest version I’ve ever been
But then again,
Something is always missing.

You are just a stranger
In a familiar body
I’m still holding onto.

A formidable adversary
An even better rattle
In the anniversary of our last
soul-drowning battle

Long gone, every day further
My dearest enemy
no one got the glory
I’d surrender, but war is over.

Am I a soul or a set of skills?
Am I a woman or just your desire?
When will I be free from everyone’s perspectives?
And when will It burnt,
My fire

my mind just was
submerged in that daydream
Romance is
An illusion of a team
Reality would eventually hit
no scenario less fancied than this
Not thought of as devotee,
but as a rival I was seen.

Such a selfish thought
Being attached to the past
when it is understood
moments are not meant to last.
Change is braided with time,
Are we supposed to ignore that?

I got used to be non-worthy
All of those years
Love given to me so poorly

It’s the same floor
It’s the same bed
It’s the same line of the song I forget
Each year it’s the usual process
Remembering stuff that used to bother
All the lessons, unlearned
Regret flowing as tears down my face

It was real, at least a while
I wish it was a dream,
But past shouldn’t last all night.