Words have been thrown like vases of flowers,
and the surface has been cracked,
and there are pieces of glass scattered on the floor, I know.
But there are also flowers among them.
The vase was only temporary,
I was hoping to get a new one anyway,
I just didn't want it to have to break in order to get a new one.

I pick off each flower petal and scream in the air
I should've done this, I should've said this
why did I expect you to be the stem,
hold all my unspoken words,
and still be strong and beautiful?
I'm so sorry.

I'll find a new vase,
and I'll water the flowers everyday;
I promise. I promise.
We can turn add new colours,
and place it in the sunlight
-we can plant seeds,
and let it grow in the yard
and never, ever, experience a glass breaking again.

Don't wilt on me now.

(NJ2014) (All Rights Reserved.)

I want to live life through foggy eyes,
I like when things are faded;
when the streets shimmer with dew,
and the streetlights make the sky look like a low contrast filter,
and the car lights seem more bright, and break through the grey smoke.

Grey on grey: but distinguishable.

Going eighty on the highway: one way.
Not about to stop.
I know my destination, but it's just a pit stop;
home isn't on my map yet.

Two way street and I'm heading one way
- I hope I'm on the right track.

(NJ2014) (All Rights Reserved)

You
let me *******
twice
Good
And then you ignored my calls

I believe one of the most incredible feelings of self perseverance,
Comes in the  moment one does realise
They are able to live, and to live content
in a world with the absence of the person
Who once was the only world one wanted
And felt they were able to live in

I remember falling prisoner to the sweet
Deep space of your eyes.
Like mine were shooting stars,
Racing towards the constellations in yours,
Seeking out,
A way into your being.

The first time I tasted your lips,
It wasn't long,
As short as a life seems,
When compared to the forever of our earth.

But how I craved them until the next time,
Oh, how I crave them even now,
When I have kissed them,
so many times since.

And now,
we have our little universe.
You awakened
A cold star,
That now burns so fiercely,
In the flame of your
Love.

Euphoria,
You have changed me so,
Yet I have never been so close,
To my own soul.

I love you, my love.
I the earth,
And you the sun,
Warming me,
Treasuring me.
For this is how I want it to stay,
For a long time.

Your light is the only one I seek,
And I the only place,
For it to shine.

I do not believe in soul mates - that there is a being on this earth for you and only you.
Love is a matter of circumstance, timing and the feelings that are developed with these.
But I do however, believe that sometimes we fall in love and think 'this is it'.
This happens only once.

we are not meant to spend our lives with everyone we fall in love with.
But when you get that 'this is it' feeling, when you truly feel that -
That is the closest thing to 'soulmates' anyone can get.

He knows it when I'm tired,
he never bothers to ask
I always lay my head in the crease of his chest,
and I fall asleep fast
His fingers swipe my hair away from my face,
while my eyes remain closed..I drift away to a dreaming state
I hear his voice, playful whispering in my ear...
I speak up, sleepy, "What did you say, dear?",
No.
Wake up!
The TV is still on, the clock ticks midnight....
but his arms...where did they go?
Look at the picture frame on the wall,
see his face with the words "In Loving Memory...",

...."I have to let you go."

I'm applying foundation on my face
though my skin isn't a house it puts everything in its place
Now I'm applying eyeliner to my eyes
'cause hiding the fear isn't easy without these bold black lines
And they break and they drain down my cheek with each tear
so much for those hidden fears

Blush can't hide my un-liveliness,
Gloss alone won't give me that fatal kiss
The one that's toxic, it's toxic to a blow
but at least my lips will have a gentle glow

And I pull, and I pluck the hairs
And I apply, and I powder the tears
And I tweeze, so I can please
And I apply. And I apply.

It's just a little makeup, she said.
A little touch up never hurt anyone, did it?

You hide my face, you hide my face.
But I'm a prisoner behind this mask,
and that's all it really takes.

Now I'm applying eyeliner to my eyes..
cause I can't go on throughout my day without these bold black lines.

You see me the way I am,
soft skin and unclothed
I may be imperfect but the lacy silks give me a better glow
I see you the way you are,
bare skin and muscles toned
Under these sheets of sorrow
we often forget who fell.. in love. with. who..... first.

After what we just did I can't feel anything but my heartbeat
You lay your head on my chest and I'm brushing your cheek
Your hair is entangled on my lips, are those scratches on your back?
You looked like you hugged a lion, sorry dear, I never meant to do that..

But when it comes down to being naked,
it's not only about taking off clothes
It's looking into each other's eyes
and seeing our own breathing, ticking souls..
well..
Looking into your soul is like looking at a cameo
dancing on a chain in my hand,
The silhouette then dances on a pendant,
beautiful and illusive,
shadowy transcendence..

Just hold me like a fragile cameo
I hope you learn more about me
by looking into my eyes than what these sheets say,
they often can tell lies
Just imagine us in a fragile cameo
Silhouettes of people, in love but never seen or known
Just a cameo.

I hate this.
This constant wandering, like jumping over sides
but the only steps I'm moving are the feet in my mind
Asking, "Am I happy?", "Is this what, WHO, I want to BE?"
Then I remember, at least I'm always going to be me..
Who you're with, does that defy you?
Does your individualism go away?
Sacrifices are necessary,
but will they remember me or my name?
I'm artistic, poetic, I crave ink on paper and metaphoric songs in the sun
I am not some princess, or that "country girl" who can always use a gun
I may laugh and follow you through this life, us..as a team,
but darling, my rifle is my paintbrush..my canvas, my trophy.