the crushing blows
of your words
strike,
when least expected

and despite all my armor
you still manage to find those sweet spots

I used to crumple
knowing,
if I yielded,
you would put down your blades

but there was a secret I did not tell you, the last time you took me down.
in the dark, as I licked my wounds, I realized

I would never be
what you tried to make me.
I knew
you could never break me.

you will never break me

you will never break me

you will never break me

my soul is a blaze
eyes and heart
full
of things
my tongue is still to timid to say

but warm palms
and soft lips
put my stuttering thoughts
to rest
and my little voice
whispers
“it’s all going to be okay”

I know it.
I know it.
I know it.

It’s all going to be okay

I crushed a  little piece of her,
my strong little girl.
Her face blank, cheeks flushed red and eyes glossing over

she faked a smile, made a noise
and ran.

just like her mother.
and I sat with wind knocked out of me heart stopped for a moment.
a moment of mourning
for the innocence just lost.

I’m so sorry baby
I love you more than all of life. and I pray that by following my heart, *you will learn to do the same.

it took EVERYTHING
in me

to walk away
to not touch

when every part of me wanted to turn around and crash into you with such force it would knock you flat.

with hungry hands, thirsty lips
a body that would bend (however you want it to bend)
a tongue that desperately wants to taste
limbs that want to embrace
and skin that craves the heat of skin



*what am I so afraid of?